


Some Kind of Resolution

by CrackingLamb



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Canon Divergent, Canon Has Been Consulted for Middling Plot Points, Canon-Typical Violence, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Nihlus Kryik Lives, Older Shepard, Polyamory, Shakarian right at the end, Swearing, War Hero (Mass Effect), if you're reading this anywhere other than ao3 it's been stolen, please report it thanks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-01-06 04:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 48,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21220217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrackingLamb/pseuds/CrackingLamb
Summary: None of this was the plan.  Not the last night of shore leave with the handsome stranger.  Not the covert mission to Eden Prime with a shakedown crew.  Not a Prothean beacon.Anddefinitelynot everything that came after...A Nihlus Kryik fix-it, because we were robbed at gunpoint (literally).  Beta'd by the lovely Iron_Angel.NSFW chapters are marked for your convenience.





	1. Rendezvous

“This mission just got a lot more complicated,” Anderson said ominously, before stalking out of the communication room to the bridge. That left her and Nihlus alone again, each of them staring at the screen where the image of the insectile ship hung frozen like an open hand, glaringly black with red streaks of electric arcs coming off it.

“How long until we get there?” Nihlus asked, breaking the silence.

“Joker said about fifteen minutes or so.”

“Pull up a chair, Commander, we have some things to discuss.”

“Yeah, we do.”

***

Henna Shepard looked over the Vancouver skyline with something like wistfulness. Alliance Command had given her and the crew a final night of shore leave as they waited for their...guest. Most of the scuttlebutt seemed to revolve around it being some kind of Hierarchy dignitary, since the Normandy was a joint venture – turian design, human crew. This shakedown mission was just a quick jaunt, after all. No need for a lot of fanfare before the 'official' first mission into deep space patrolling along the edges of the Traverse.

Henna wasn't much for night life these days. In a way she'd gotten her fill of it, growing up on Earth, living much of her life on the streets before joining the Alliance. And all shore leaves were forever tainted by Elysium.

_Enough_, she scoffed to herself. _That was 7 years ago. You should have gotten over it by now_.

The twinkling of her Star of Terra suggested otherwise in her mind.

Still, this night would be her last on Earth for quite some time; she might as well enjoy it. She left Alliance Command's tall block building and took a skycab downtown, hoping to find a nice quiet restaurant for some decent food before shipboard rations became the norm once more.

On a whim – since joint ventures were on her mind – she went to Janus, a dual chirality place just a few miles from the Alliance complex, deep in the heart of the megatropolis. It had only opened a couple months ago, and had made a name for itself already by way of protests against its existence. On Earth there was still a lot of resentment towards turians. Especially from older generations. Turians didn't bother her. Really, no aliens did, not even batarians. The fact that she was living in a real life sci-fi vid actually tickled her fancy.

She was seated in short order, after giving the place a quick once over and finding herself to be the only human other than the staff. The young woman who was her server seemed grateful for her presence, either because she was an obviously 'local' customer or because she was patently nonchalant about the number of turians quietly dining. For there were quite a few, despite the early hour.

“The levo list is on the left,” the server said as she handed her a menu. Henna smiled; levo on the left, dextro on the right. Cute. Just like the restaurant's logo with its two faces, a profile of each race. She decided on fried pork chops with a side of mashed potatoes and a medley of seasonal vegetables, and ordered a beer from the bar. When her food came, she decided she liked the place. It was good.

“Excuse me,” a deep, flanged voice interrupted her methodical eating. She looked up into a dark russet turian face, contrasted attractively with graceful white colony markings. His eyes were as vibrantly green as her own.

“Yes?”

“May I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“You appear to be a soldier, and yet you came _here_ for dinner.”

“That wasn't a question.”

The turian smiled – at least, she thought it was a smile. Hard to tell with mandibles. But they had flared, showing off pointed teeth. And there was something lighter about the eyes, something reminiscent of the way a human's would twinkle with amusement or joy.

“All right, then. Why?”

She settled back and gave the turian an assessing look. He was tall, God all of them were, but he seemed to tower. 6'5 at _least_. Probably more. He didn't seem aggressive or displeased that she was there, merely curious.

“Wanted somewhere quiet. And I wanted to check it out before I left town.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

The Normandy was talked about in the media as a project, and as a peaceful cooperation between their two races. But she didn't know how turians felt about that, nor did she think Captain Anderson would thank her for blabbing about it to a stranger. So she just smiled and nodded.

“May I...?” he gestured to the chair opposite hers at the table. She nodded again and watched him fold his tall, frankly gangly frame into it.

“The food on my side of the menu is pretty good, how's yours?” she asked conversationally, still eating.

“Not bad, all things considered. I imagine the cost of getting dextro stock is high, but the chef knows what he's doing with it.”

She stuck out her hand, remembering at the last second that his race didn't really use that for greeting and introduction. Before she could take it back, however, he grasped it and gave her a brief squeeze and shake. “Henna,” she said.

“Call me Nih.”

“Nice to meet you. On Earth for business or pleasure?”

“Both, I'd say. I travel a lot for my job. Earth is...interesting.”

“That's diplomatic.”

He smiled again. She found herself growing used to it, finding some nuance in the way the bony jaw protrusions moved and expressed emotion. “Vancouver is a bit cold for my personal taste.”

“Do turians take issue with temperate weather?”

“More or less. We tend to run a bit on the cool side among the galactic races, and our homeworld is rather warm compared to others.”

“Forgive me if this is rude, but did I read that turians are descended from birds?”

He shifted his head around, not quite like a shrug, but not really a nod or shake either. “I've heard humans call us more dinosaurs than anything.”

The flat tone and almost deadpan delivery surprised her. Sure, she knew calling a turian 'dinosaur' was about as bad as 'skullface' as epithets went, but she couldn't deny there were similarities. And apparently he didn't either, since he punctuated his words with another flaring grin.

“I'm mostly asking out of curiosity. You say you run cooler. Does that mean you don't have...what's it called...homeostasis?”

“We do, it's just inefficient. From what I understand of human biology, you are omnivores, yes?” She gestured at the variety on her plate and he nodded. “We are not. Our bodies do not store extra calories as fat very well. I suppose you could say we lack insulation.”

That made her laugh, as did the sudden turn of events for her evening. She was enjoying his unexpected company. And he seemed to be enjoying hers. It didn't seem to be a bad start for interspecies familiarity. He signaled the server and ordered another beer for her and a dextro one for himself.

“My turn,” he said when their drinks arrived. “Isn't henna a type of ink?”

“Yes, it is. I'm surprised a turian would know that, no offense.”

He gestured at his face. “Call it something that stands out culturally, as a form of marking.”

She nodded, thinking about the N7 tattoo on her upper arm. “Okay, I get it. In my case, it's just short for Jehanne.”

He was giving her a thorough look now. “Jehanne. Would that be Jehanne _Shepard_?” he asked after a moment.

_This is it_, she thought. _Once they recognize my name, it's all over_.

“Yes,” she answered, wary.

“I thought you looked familiar. Commander,” he inclined his head briefly. “You showed remarkable courage and skill at the Blitz. It made you something of a celebrity, didn't it?”

She made a face, equal parts disparagement and accepting. “Yeah.”

“It can be hard to live with.”

“Oh, would you know about that?”

“Some. Turians don't place the same sort of entertainment value on our heroes. Doing one's duty should be enough of a reward. You humans love to gossip, though, and put people on pedestals, if that's the right expression.”

“Ah, yes. Meritocracy, right? And yeah, that's the right expression.”

“You're well informed on the Hierarchy.”

“Alliance,” she said with a shrug of one shoulder. “I've studied your race, its history and whatnot. Well, really, we've gotten a crash course on _all_ the races. It's a bit mind boggling, I'll admit. But...fascinating.”

“Hmm, fascinating,” he echoed her, and his voice had distinctly dropped from polite to _interested_. She wondered what it would be like...

“You wanna stay here and exchange cultural differences or you wanna get out here and experience some?” she asked boldly. His gaze turned calculating, but he smiled just the same. Without another word he signaled for the check.

***

She woke in an unfamiliar bed, although that in itself wasn't strange. She was a soldier on shore leave; she didn't have a normal to speak of. No, what was strange was waking to the feel of someone else moving next to her. Someone a lot less soft and pliable than she was.

She turned and saw Nih looking at her, his head propped on his fist in a more recognizable gesture than she'd seen yet from an alien.

“Morning,” she managed.

“It is.”

“I...uh...”

“Yes?” In the light of day, his face was much more readable, or maybe after last night she was just more attuned to it. She shifted experimentally and felt twinges in places she hadn't felt in a long time. But she was also more relaxed than she'd been in a long time too. Incredibly so.

“Is it a bit awkward now?” she asked.

“Why?” He trailed his free hand down her arm, his talons light against her skin. He traced the tattoo he'd been highly entertained to find after their conversation about markings. Goosebumps rose and remembered sensation made her flush. She wouldn't have said no to another round, she was startled to discover, chafed skin notwithstanding. _Worth it_, she thought.

“Okay...maybe it isn't.” She gave him a smile and he matched it. After several more bars, a drunken near brawl with some xenophobes and a race to stay ahead of Vancouver police, she had no idea how they'd ended up...wherever they were. “Where are we?”

“The hotel across from Alliance Command.” Well, that was probably...good. She wouldn't have far to go to get back to the ship. And if they were technically on the base, there was likely no fallout to face from their shenanigans of the previous night.

“I should go,” she said, somewhat sadly. She would have liked to linger, maybe get some room service. But the light shining through the window showed plainly that it was already well into the morning. And she needed to check in and get herself settled before the evening take off.

Nih seemed to regret that she had to leave too, if his sigh meant anything. “I should let you,” he said, confirming her suspicions. “Henna...”

“No big thing, right?”

His face took on an aspect she would normally have considered to be a raised eyebrow. “I seem to recall you saying something entirely different...”

“You're horrible,” she laughed and swatted him. Still, the banter shook off any lingering sense of weirdness and she threw back the covers with a flip. He watched her gather up her things and get dressed. This must have been his room already, his belongings were scattered all over the place. Made sense for any visiting turians to be kept under close eye of the Alliance. “I'll see you around?”

“Perhaps,” he rejoined, still watching her from a lounging position in the bed. He looked...rumpled. Which was an odd thing to say about a turian. But he seemed entirely comfortable with his nudity in the human bed, the sheets haphazardly draped over his sharp edges, softening them. She left the hotel room before the weirdness returned and determinedly did _not_ let it feel like it was a walk of shame.

***

“Commander, this is Spectre Kryik, representing both the Council and the Hierarchy,” Anderson said, introducing her to their 'guest'. It was one thing to see him in civvies, another entirely to see him naked. And now to see him in battleworn armor, carrying a duffel she'd glimpsed only hours ago....

“You should have told me,” she said, her voice low and abruptly angry. She _really_ should have put it together before this moment. She was usually more observant than that.

“Need to know basis, Commander,” Nihlus said, the subvocals warming her to the core in a way that should have been unwelcome now that she knew who he was. _Nope, still hot_. She turned to her Captain and took a short breath, calming herself.

“We've met,” she said. She turned back to Nih. Nihlus. _Spectre Kryik_. “No big thing, right?”

If he heard the challenge in her voice, he made no sign of it. “Indeed.”

***

“Is this going to affect our working relationship?” Henna asked as she settled into one of the chairs set in a semi-circle around the room. Nihlus sat across from her, his mandibles flickering just once before settling in tight against his teeth.

“No. I wanted to talk about strategy for once we hit the surface.”

“Still planning to do a split drop and head off on your own?” She shook her head, signifying how she felt about that. “I understand that as a Spectre you're used to working alone. But the circumstances have shifted. We don't know what that ship is capable of, who it is or what they're after. Yeah, we can assume it's after this beacon, but that's an assumption. Humans have a saying about that.”

“I am aware.” Nihlus looked at the screen again. He sighed. “I don't like surprises.”

“That makes two of us.”

His gaze flicked back to her, green eyes piercing. She may not be able to read all of his subvocals, but he apparently knew humans well enough to know the difference between sardonic and sarcastic. “If I said I was sorry about not telling you who I was, would it matter now?”

“It might. I don't make a habit of one night stands with turians who have ulterior motives.”

His mandibles flickered again, a quick movement that she couldn't read. “Does that mean you make a habit of one night stands with turians?” _Ah, amused_.

“Do you make a habit of it with humans?”

“I wouldn't call it a habit...”

“I see.”

“Not all turians despise humans, Shepard. And you are evidence that not all humans carry a grudge.”

She snorted. “I was ten when the First Contact War happened, Nihlus. Galactic politics didn't have much place in a street rat's life. If nothing else, I'll give you full marks for reconnaissance.”

_Better than being pissy about it, considering what he's offering you_, she thought privately. _Spectre Shepard. Has a nice ring to it_.

He tilted his head, acknowledging her words. “For what it's worth, I am sorry I couldn't tell you. I hope you understand why.”

“Sure. No harm, no foul. Now, we have a mission to do. We should figure out a plan for it.”

“Fair enough.”


	2. FUBAR

They hit the ground running, she and Nihlus, backed by Lieutenant Alenko and Corporal Jenkins, who was from Eden Prime and would serve as their guide. Henna was nervous about that; Jenkins was pretty green.

And she was right about that, since the kid got shot down in the first firefight they came across. The drones packed a powerful punch, and it took the three of them a few minutes to get them dealt with.

“Goddammit,” she swore, closing the boy's eyes. “I hate losing them so young.”

“Commander...” Alenko said, standing near her. She looked up at him and frowned through her helmet.

“We can honor him later, right now we need to keep moving.”

“I should scout ahead,” Nihlus said as they left Jenkins behind.

“No, we stick together. That could just as easily have been one of us.”

“Shepard...”

“Don't start, Kryik. You said you wanted to observe me in the field. You can't do that if we're not together. I'd rather walk into an ambush together than have one of us facing it on their own. Don't pull rank just because you can. It's a dick move.”

Alenko's eyes went wide at her insubordinate tone, but there was no way she was letting either of them out of her sight. She was nominally in charge of this mission; that meant she got to make the call, regardless of the fact that, as a Spectre, Nihlus didn't answer to her. Still, he offered her a raised browplate and a grin.

“Fine, Commander. We stick together. For now.”

She aimed a sour face at him as he moved off through the trees, but she noticed he kept within their immediate area. Bodies lay burnt on the ground around them, too far gone to gather any details. More mechs met them halfway between their drop zone and the dig site, but the cover was better in the forest and they had less trouble taking them down.

They came out of the trees into a clearing and saw a disturbingly macabre sight. Metallic humanoid _beings_ were impaling a human on a long spike. Before they had a chance to stop it, a woman in armor came running through the clearing, pursued by more of the drones. The robotic people – for lack of a better term in her head – looked away from their gruesome task and pursued her.

“The fuck are those?” Henna cried, ducking behind the cover of a square block of stone. Neither Alenko or Nihlus answered her outburst, each too occupied with their own fight. When it was over, she flipped one of the dead robots onto its back and looked it over.

“Geth,” Nihlus said, surprise very clear in his voice.

“The geth haven't been seen beyond the Perseus Veil in centuries,” Alenko said. From the corner of her eye, she caught Nihlus giving the Lieutenant an appraising look. Apparently the Spectre hadn't known that Alenko graduated top of his class in galactic history.

“What the hell are they doing here, then?” she asked no one in particular.

The Marine that had been chased came up to them then, breathless but apparently unhurt. “Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, of the 212th. You the one in charge here, ma'am?”

“You all right? Give me a status report.”

“Yeah. We were patrolling the perimeter when the attack came. We tried to get off a distress call, but they cut off communications. I've been fighting for my life ever since.”

“How did a contingent of geth get this far into settled space without anyone knowing?” Nihlus asked.

Williams spared him a glance, but kept her focus on Henna. “Not sure, but they arrived the same time as that ship.” She paced, agitation and self castigation clear in her posture. “We held our position as best we could but...I think I'm all that's left.”

“Are they here for the beacon?” Henna asked.

“I think so. The dig site is close, just over that rise.”

“All right, let's move out. Williams, you should come with us.”

“Aye aye, ma'am.”

She fell in with them and they went up the hill to where the dig site was. More geth were there, but they weren't hard to take down. The creatures accompanying them used to be human, but now reminded her of nothing so much as zombies from every horror film ever made. She wondered if that's what the spikes were for. The site, however, was empty of just about anything else, just a burned out building and another one intact, locked from the inside.

“Survivors?” Henna asked.

“Perhaps,” Nihlus replied.

Henna picked the lock and found two scientists. The woman seemed relieved, the man...less so.

“I'm Doctor Warren,” the woman said as her partner rambled around keeping the door locked. “I'm in charge of this excavation.”

“What happened here?”

“We were attacked. They must have come for the beacon, but it wasn't here. It was moved to the spaceport earlier this morning. Manuel and I stayed behind to pack up the camp. When they arrived, we hid here. The Marines held them off long enough. They gave their lives to save us.”

“No one is saved,” Manuel moaned. “The age of humanity is ended. Soon, only ruin and corpses will remain.”

“It all happened so fast,” Dr. Warren continued. “One minute we were packing up our equipment, the next we were swarmed by those...”

“Geth,” Nihlus supplied.

“Agents of the destroyers,” Manuel intoned. “Bringers of darkness. Heralds of our extinction!” He focused suddenly on Nihlus, who stared back dispassionately. “I saw him! The prophet. Leader of the enemy. He was here, before the attack.”

“Who was?” Henna asked, trying to get into the man's line of sight. He refused to be distracted from her turian companion and wouldn't meet her eyes. It was patently evident the man was spooked by turian presence on the colony...and not for the obvious reason.

“I'm sorry, Manuel is still...unsettled. I gave him another dose of his medication but it hasn't kicked in yet.”

“What is this beacon anyway?”

“It's some kind of data module, from a galaxy wide communications network. Remarkably well preserved. Who knows what secrets it has locked inside.”

“We have unearthed the heart of evil,” Manuel said, his voice dropping to a harsh whisper. “Awakened the beast! Unleashed the darkness.”

“Manuel, please, this isn't the time,” Dr. Warren said, exasperated by his ranting. The disturbed scientist continued to stare at Nihlus. He exchanged a glance with Henna, wordlessly communicating that he thought it was time to get moving.

“What's wrong with him?” she asked instead, wondering if there were more horrors waiting for them regarding this beacon.

“Manuel has a brilliant mind, but he's always been a bit unstable. Madness and genius are two sides of the same coin, after all.”

“Is it madness to see the future?” the scientist in question rasped. “To see the destruction rushing towards us? To understand there is no escape? No hope? No, I am not mad. I am the only sane one left!”

“It should be safe enough for you to get out of here now,” Henna said to Dr. Warren. “Williams, take us to the spaceport.”

“Commander, we need to tread lightly here. There's more at stake than we bargained for. I am going to scout ahead, make sure there are no more surprises,” Nihlus said, in a tone that brooked no argument.

“Fine, but keep in radio contact. This whole thing could still go more pearshaped.”

“I got full marks for reconnaissance, remember?”

Turians. Of course he'd bring _that_ up now. “Just be careful, all right?”

“I'll be fine.”

***

The single shot rang out clear in the silence following the giant insectile ship's departure from the atmosphere. Henna and the two Marines came over the ridge to the spaceport at a dead run, Alenko blasting away the husks with his biotics while Henna and Williams kept up steady fire on the geth. Their ears were still ringing from the outrageous noise the dreadnought sized vessel made upon its departure. Henna raced on ahead of the others, seeing Nihlus on the ground, a river of blue blood trailing from his head, still running steadily.

“Ah, fuck me sideways,” she swore, sliding to a stop on her knees, her hands busy staunching the flow. He was still breathing, but it was shallow and he wasn't what she'd call conscious. She layered on the Medi-gel, hoping it would be enough. In moments the bleeding stopped, although the ragged puncture in his skin remained. She patched into her comms. “Normandy, I need an emergency med evac for the Spectre. Gunshot wound to the head, point blank range. Alert Dr. Chakwas.”

“Understood, Commander,” Joker replied. “Med evac on its way.”

“'I'll be fine', he says,” she grumbled as Alenko and Williams reached her. “No big thing, just a turian Spectre going off half cocked and getting his brains half splattered. Goddammit!”

“Ma'am...?”

“What is it, Chief?” She didn't dare look up, as if by keeping her eye on Nihlus like a watched pot, he wouldn't expire before the Normandy could pick him up.

“The beacon isn't here.”

“Neither is the tram,” Alenko said.

“Fucking wonderful. Now it's wild goose chase and I've lost half my team.” She slapped more Medi-gel against the wound as it started to seep anew and took Nihlus's fancy shotgun from its holster. He wouldn't miss it, she figured. “All right, call the tram back and let's see where this chase goes.”

She heard the roar of the Normandy as it came in for a landing nearby and finally risked looking up from the bleeding turian. Alenko and Williams were already further down the tramway, fighting more geth who were trying to hold the spaceport.

“Don't you fucking die on me, Kryik,” she snarled as she stood up to give the med team access to him with the stretcher. “We have unfinished business, you and I.”

“We've got him, Commander. Go!”

She followed the remainder of her team, not even bothering to watch the ship take off for orbit.

***

The beacon lifted her into the air, searing her in a blast of heat, pain and utter, utter despair. Nightmarish images pounded behind her eyes, making her want to scream. Her skin buzzed with electricity and she couldn't move. There were no words, only images and afterburn. She dropped to the ground, vaguely aware of an explosion and then she was blissfully insensible.

***

“You had us worried, there, Shepard,” Dr. Chakwas said, stepping around to face Henna. She barely lifted her eyes to the good doctor, her head aching beyond belief. It was like an entire army of rampaging bees had set up a combat simulation inside her skull. Throbbing, buzzing and _loud_.

“Nih...?”

“He's in stable enough condition. He must have turned at the last second. The shot merely grazed him. The skull is fractured but not punctured. Still, your quick work with the Medi-gel probably saved him from considerable blood loss and further trauma. Now...how are you feeling?”

“Like my head was stomped on by a Prothean beacon.” She wiped her face with her hand, her skin feeling too sensitive to barely touch. “How long was I out?”

“About fifteen hours. What happened?”

“The beacon...it must have had a security field or something, drew me in. I saw...I don't know what I saw. Death, destruction. Like a nightmare of every horror imaginable.”

“Alenko's report says the beacon exploded after it...after you interacted with it. Unfortunately, not enough remained to even bring on board to study.” Chakwas was preparing a hypospray as she spoke. She pressed it to Henna's neck and the pain dialed back into almost tolerable range as long as she kept perfectly still.

“Where are we now?”

“En route to the Citadel. We'll be there in another few hours. Anderson has been called in front of the Council, and I'm sure you will be too. About our guest...”

Henna lifted her head and met the doctor's eyes, ignoring the pounding for a moment. “Yes?”

“Someone close to him tried to kill him. That's all he would tell me, saying it was Spectre business. I think he would prefer it if we let people think that someone succeeded. At least for now.”

“What does Captain Anderson say?”

“He won't interfere with a Spectre's wishes. Nihlus is currently occupying the Captain's quarters and intends to stay hidden there.”

“Probably not a bad plan.”

“He wanted to talk to you as soon as you were able.”

“Am I fit for duty, Doctor?” she asked wearily.

“Within reason. There is no physical damage and while I recorded some abnormal beta waves and rapid eye movement, you don't seem to have been impaired by the...experience.”

“I just have a headache the size of Vancouver. It's all right, I can work with that. No different than when I land on my head.”

“You did.” Chakwas gave her a saucy grin and Henna rolled her eyes slightly. She'd kinda walked into that one. “You're cleared to leave the Medbay, Commander.”

“Thanks, Doc.” She slid to a stand from the bed. She felt like a jumble of sticks held together loosely with rubber bands. “I'll go see Kryik now, then. Get a plan together.”

“As you will.”


	3. Revelations**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be NSFW.

Anderson's cabin was on the mid level of the ship, along with Dr. Chakwas's medbay, the galley, the sleeping pods, communal washroom and Alenko's duty station. The Lieutenant waved her over as she crossed the level without upsetting her precarious balance, but she shook her head. Then regretted it. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them, he had an sympathetic look in his own. He was an L2; he knew headaches. She pointed at the closed door of the cabin and he signaled that he understood. Amazing how much conversation could be had without words.

She announced herself at the cabin door through her omni-tool and allowed Nihlus time to answer it, rather than just go in on her own. When it slid open silently for her, she saw how haggard and drained he looked, although he stood tall and straight and didn't appear to be suffering from too much pain. No, this was the look of someone betrayed and struggling to keep it together.

“May I?” she asked, keeping her voice low so as not to blow out her own eardrums.

He stepped back and let her in. Anderson's cabin was good sized, with a double bunk along the back wall, and a small table with chairs set around it in the center. There was nothing on the outer bulkhead, but the inner one was full of terminals and datapads on a shelf. A holo of herself and Anderson on the day she got her Star of Terra stood in a place of prominence.

“You and the Captain go back a long way, don't you?” Nihlus asked.

“Yes, to my ICT days. Anderson was the first N7, you know.”

“Yes, I know. And you are an N7 too.” He waved a hand roughly in the direction of her arm, where her tattoo was. It had seemed so self indulgent to get it at the time, but now it seemed to be a common ground for her and a turian in terms of identifiable marks. Hey, she'd take it as a start to a diplomatic relationship. She mentally snorted. She wondered what the Council races would make of their _other_ diplomatic meeting.

She murmured an affirmative to his observation and sank into one of the chairs at the table, her head still pounding. She braced her arms on the table and rested her forehead against her palms. “You wanted to talk to me?”

“I have some...details I should tell you.”

“Is this about who shot you?”

“It is. You must first understand how I came to be a Spectre. I am from the colonies, raised away from Palaven and all its influence. I never had any intention of becoming a soldier. But when my father died, my mother insisted I return to Hierarchy space and do the tour of military duty that Palaveni turians are required to do. I hated it.”

He stood behind her and she felt his hands on the back of her neck. At first she wondered what the hell he was doing, but then the pads of his thumbs dug into the muscle where her neck met her shoulders and she understood. He applied heavy pressure there, and she felt the headache recede. She groaned in relief. In a few minutes, she was able to lift her head without complete agony and the lights only glared a little.

“I hated the incessant rules and regulations,” he continued, “but I was good at combat. My test scores were always high, if a bit unorthodox. I think you humans would call it 'thinking outside the box'. Didn't earn me a lot of friends, but I didn't particularly care. I was approached by the Spectres and began training under Saren Arterius. We worked together for many years, and were very close for a long time, but have grown apart in the last decade or so.” He hadn't stopped his ministrations on her neck and shoulders and she leaned into his touch, not even thinking about his talons so near her throat. She was stuck more on his wording and underlying tone. She knew how to read between the lines. _They were lovers_, she thought. _At least for a while_.

“Anderson knows him. They have bad blood,” she said aloud.

“Yes, they do. I will not pretend Saren is innocent of any wrongdoing, but I also cannot lay all the blame at his feet. There were many complications at the time, and the Relay 314 Incident had just ended. Tensions were still very high between our species. That tension led to trust issues between them, and culminated in a very bloody and violent end to a research facility on one of their missions together.”

“And Anderson was denied the chance to become the first human Spectre.”

“A position you will now fill.”

“You don't know that.”

He dug his sharp knuckles deeper into her thoracic muscles, making her gasp as tiny pops released their pressure all along her upper spine. “Yes, I do. That is irrelevant right now. There were many rumors at the time that the researchers at Sidon had found something, an artifact of great worth, possibly Prothean. Perhaps even older. That is part of why Saren was assigned to that mission. He has been a Spectre for an entire generation. He's seen it all. His methods are rarely discreet, but he gets the job done. But there have been other rumors, as well. Much more recently.”

“What kind of rumors?”

“That he's changed, become unhinged. Unfocused. That he started ignoring Council assignments, has been disappearing for long periods of time to unknown worlds. The Council allows us a great deal of leeway in our efforts to keep galactic peace, with little regard for our means. An oversight that is perhaps lacking, in light of the events today.”

Henna pushed his hands away and stood up in order to face him. “Wait. Are you saying _Saren_ _Arterius_ shot you?”

“I am.”

“But...why? He was your mentor, your partner. Another Spectre. Why would he try to kill you?”

“I don't know. But I do know that you will be expected to testify to the Council about what happened on Eden Prime. Saren is likely to be implicated. There was a dockworker who survived the attack by hiding, and apparently was a witness to Saren shooting me. Let the Council do what they will with that information. But let them think he succeeded in killing me.”

“I don't understand.”

“Saren knew about the beacon, Henna. He already knew it was there. Knew it was in the spaceport. For all I know, he used it, creating the instability that made it explode after it sucked you in. He is after something, and has somehow achieved command over the geth. There is more at play here than we thought, and we don't have enough answers to make any assumptions. We cannot know if he was moving with Council approval or if he's gone rogue. Humans are an unknown quantity still. Your brashness and aggressiveness as a race will work in your favor here. Get yourself appointed as a Spectre. Bully them if you have to. Say nothing about me. Keeping a piece of the playing board hidden is a good tactical move. But we will need you to have the same resources Saren does if we're going to stop him.”

“Thinking outside the box?” She saw how his body language had changed. He was angry at this betrayal, and no wonder. If a friend and former lover had come up to her and shot her in the head, hell yeah, she'd be angry too. And hurt. Much more than the just the literal sense. She didn't understand how Nihlus was able to take it so calmly. _Well_, she thought, _I was out of it for a long time. He had nothing better to do than think it through, I guess_.

“The Council is staid and relatively resistant to change. Any advantage we can muster is good.” His expression changed again, became softer at the edges. “How is your head now?”

She tilted her head experimentally and cracked her neck. “Better, thanks.”

“Good.” Without warning he hauled her into his arms, pressing his forehead to hers. He'd done that during their tryst too, before kissing her in a manner much more familiar to her. “I don't know what the future will bring,” he said softly, his hands moving down her body, deftly loosening the belt of her shipboard uniform. “I want you again before it all turns to shit.”

She was breathless already from his sudden about face, and his hands moving on her didn't help. “How do you know it will go that way?” she managed to ask, her own hands pulling at tabs and zippers on his undersuit before she really even thought about it. She stoutly refused to listen to the voice that was whispering that he only wanted her because of his brush with near death.

“It always does,” he promised. His hands dropped to her backside and he lifted her without effort, drawing her legs up over his hip joints. She clutched his cowl to keep balance and let him carry her to the chair she'd been sitting in. He sat with her in his lap, pulling her arms from her sleeves, pushing her uniform down to her hips until it would go no further. His tongue traced along her collarbones, warm and wet. Agile. She remembered very well what that tongue could do, regardless of the drunken haze she'd been in that night.

“Nih...”

“Kiss me, Henna.”

“You were shot in the head. You really think we should be...”

“Kiss me,” he commanded. “Kiss me, then fuck me until we're both so mindless that nothing else matters.”

She hissed in a breath, her body tingling with anticipation. She pushed her mouth to his, slanting her head to gain better leverage against his plated lips. She ran her tongue along the edges and he opened for her, returning the action. He tasted almost salty, like clean sweat. But tempered with something else, something purely turian. With a growl he burrowed one hand into her hair, gripping the back of her head, while his other hand pressed against her back, holding her as close as she could get. Her breasts were crushed against his keel and she wriggled back and forth, creating a light friction that made her moan in the back of her throat. His subvocals rumbled through his body, vibrating against her and she got lost in the sensation while he kissed her until she forgot to breathe.

“Stand up and take off those pants, Henna,” he said when he pulled away from her mouth. “I need to be inside you.”

She managed to stand on admittedly shaky legs and stripped off the rest of her uniform, kicking her boots out of the way as she did. She saw that he had already emerged from behind his groin plates, making his undersuit bulge. With her eyes on him, he unzipped the suit further, letting his erection spring free. It glistened with its own lubricant and she dropped to her knees to lick up one side of it and down the other. He had too much girth to take fully into her mouth, but that didn't mean she couldn't still have fun. She wrapped her fingers around as much as she could, cupping the base where it was thickest. She slipped the head of his cock between her lips, sucking gently.

His hand was in her hair again, tugging hard at it until she released him from her playing. “None of that now. I want to fuck you, not spray you in the face.”

“Such a way with words, Spectre.”

“Get back here.” He pulled her back into his lap, straddling him with her legs hanging off the sides of the chair. He stroked her almost roughly, the pad of his primary finger brushing against her clit with a precision that was blinding. She wanted to thrust her hips against it, but her position left her unable to do anything but take it. She grew slick in moments, to his lascivious amusement, and he pulled his hand away to grip his cock instead, lining himself up against her entrance. She sank onto him slowly, torturing them both with it. She knew she could take the stretch, knew it would hit every nerve ending within her. He watched her impale herself, licking his finger clean. The sight of it made her clench, which in turn made him groan.

His hands were on her hips now, guiding her up and down on him, faster, harder. Deeper. She tried not to cry out, knowing Alenko was practically on the other side of the door, but she couldn't help the whimpering sounds that escaped her each time Nihlus bottomed out inside her. He hummed, his subvocals adding to the sound and she began to pant. He felt every bit as good as he had the first time.

“Come for me, Henna,” he whispered against her throat, his plates nipping at her skin, his tongue tracing the artery along her neck. He was a dangerous man from a race of dangerous apex predators, she knew that in the back of her mind. But that only added spice. She arched her back, shifting the angle of penetration and gasped as he hit her G-spot. The sound she made was inhuman, but he evidently liked it.

“Nih...?”

“Come for me,” he repeated, slamming up into her now with his hands on her shoulders from behind, pulling her into his hard thrusts. Somehow they'd ended up almost on the edge of the chair and she was able to use her legs to gain some leverage on him. She bit the back of her hand to keep from screaming as the pleasure crested, washing through her in a wave of shivers and spasms. He grunted and held her down on him as he followed her, the pulsing of his cock drawing out her orgasm to a new height.

When they were done, he slipped out of her with a wet sucking sound and she could feel their mingled fluids running from her. It should have been gross and embarrassing, but it just made her want to start up again. He chuckled, as if he knew what she was thinking, and he brought her brow back to his.

“Pity this cabin doesn't have a shower,” she whispered. “I'd love to have you jack me up against the...”

He growled and covered her mouth with his to keep her from finishing the thought, his tongue delving deep. She wrapped her arms around his cowl, careful to keep them away from his head, knowing that it must hurt him even if he was a stoic, stubborn turian. He pulled away and stroked the back of his hand down her cheek.

“Next time,” he said. He stood up again, with her still secured in his arms. He let her legs drop from his and didn't let go of her until he was sure she could stand. “For now, you'll just have to make do with a towel.”

He handed her a small square that he'd evidently purloined from the communal bathroom and she started to laugh. “Did you _plan_ this, Nihlus?”

He gave her a supremely satisfied grin. “Perhaps.”

“You think of everything don't you?”

His only answer was to let his grin grow wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 updates in a week? What? I'm hoping that after this chapter, I can resist the urge to just post everything I've written and go to a weekly schedule. No promises.


	4. Disbelief**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be more NSFW.

“Saren's hiding something. Give me more time. Stall them!”

“Stall the Council? Don't be ridiculous. Your investigation is over, Garrus.” The Executor walked away, his face held closed and tight as he passed the trio of humans. She ignored him in favor of the young officer he'd been arguing with, who now sauntered up to her, his armor matching his colony markings.

“Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian. I was the officer in charge of the C-Sec investigation into Saren.”

“Find anything useful?”

“No. He's a Spectre, everything he touches is classified. I couldn't get any hard evidence. But I know he's up to something. I can feel it in my gut.”

“I think the Council is ready for us,” Alenko said from behind her. The turian looked over her shoulder at him and his browplate lowered like a frown before turning back to her. He appeared young enough to still be in his mandatory service. Impatient, maybe a little hotheaded. She liked him immediately.

_He reminds you of Nihlus, that's why_, she thought. Funny how quickly she'd become attached to her turian 'one night stand'.

“Good luck, Shepard. Maybe they'll listen to you.”

She watched him stalk off in a temper and smiled at his retreating back. _Ahh, youth_.

***

“An eyewitness saw him kill Nihlus in cold blood,” Udina ground out, punctuating his words with a fist in his palm. She didn't generally like the human Ambassador – too ambitious in her opinion – but she couldn't deny that he did his part to keep their race's best interests in the forefront of the Council's minds.

“The testimony of one traumatized dock worker is hardly compelling proof,” the salarian Councilor sneered. Henna raised her eyebrows. If an eyewitness report didn't constitute evidence, what would? A signed confession carved in stone? She saw what Nihlus meant about them being staid and unchanging. She had no idea how she was going to get them to approve her as a Spectre if this was what she had to work with.

“I resent these accusations,” the holographic image of Saren said. Henna noticed he stood incredibly oversized in his holo. An intimidation tactic? Surely there was no need for him to be so...giant. “Nihlus was a fellow Spectre, and a friend.”

“That just let you catch him off guard,” Anderson said.

“Ahh, Captain Anderson. You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me.” The turian's regard turned to her. Her skin crawled. There was something unsettling about his direct gaze, even through a hologram. It was hard to tell in the hazy red image, but he looked as though he'd had extensive reconstructive work done on himself. His mandibles were held in place by what looked like metal bands, and his arms were two different sizes. This was the Council's greatest Spectre? He was horrifying.

_That's probably a key to his success_, she thought.

“This must be your protege, Commander Shepard. The one who let the beacon be destroyed.”

“How did you know that if you weren't there? The mission was top secret.”

“Upon Nihlus's death, all his files were released to me. I read the Eden Prime report. I was unimpressed.” He was lying, she would stake her life on it. For one thing, Nihlus wasn't dead. His files hadn't been released to anyone. For another...why did another even matter? Nihlus wasn't dead. But no one else knew that besides her and the other officers. She didn't think any of them would talk. Even the crew and personnel on board the Normandy thought that Nihlus had died from his wounds and was being kept in state in the Captain's quarters until they reached the Citadel.

“Saren despises humanity. That's why he attacked the colony on Eden Prime,” she said, keeping her head in the game. She couldn't let on that she knew what he was about. To any degree.

“Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres.”

“He has no right to say that! That is not his decision!” Udina shouted.

“The Ambassador is correct,” the asari Councilor said. “Shepard's candidacy into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting.”

“This meeting _has_ no purpose,” Saren snarled. “The humans are wasting your time, Councilor! And mine.”

“You can't hide behind the Council forever,” Henna said to the hologram.

“There is still one outstanding issue. Commander Shepard's vision. It may have been triggered by the beacon.” Henna resisted the urge to make a face. Why did Anderson have to bring that up? It was only going to make her look ridiculous. And sure enough...

“Are we allowing dreams into evidence now?” Saren asked with a hefty dose of scorn. It was well played, considering she knew he'd seen the vision too. Well...presumably. She didn't actually know, now that she thought about it. But why else was he there? It couldn't have been a coincidence that he picked a human target to attack and there just _happened_ to be a Prothean beacon there. “How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?”

“I agree,” the turian Councilor said. “Our judgment must be made on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation.”

“Do you have anything else to add, Commander?” the salarian asked.

“No. I won't waste my breath.” She could see they'd already made up their minds. This had been a pointless waste of time indeed.

***

“So what now?” Nihlus asked from his position on the bed amid a pile of pillows. Henna and Anderson exchanged a glance between them. Coming back to the ship had been a better option than staying in the Embassy where the walls had ears.

“There's that C-Sec officer, Vakarian,” Henna offered. “He wanted more time to finish his report. He wasn't happy about having so much redacted.”

Nihlus smiled faintly, barely moving his mandibles. “Spectres see a lot of classified things. We can't allow any of it to be traced.”

“There's Barla Von, too,” Anderson said.

Nihlus nodded. “He's an agent of the Shadow Broker, so dealing with him could be...expensive. But more than likely worth it if you want to find anything that doesn't require high level hacking ability.” He rubbed the back of his head where his bandage was. “Let me think it over, see if I can come up with any other ideas.”

Anderson stood up, preparing to leave. “I'll let you two talk. I'm sure there are details I don't want to be privy to.”

Nihlus regarded the Captain mildly. “There's hardly anything about Saren that you don't already know, David.”

“I'm quite sure that isn't true, Nihlus. Besides, I don't want to color your mentorship of Shepard with my interference. I'll be in the conference room if you need me.”

Nihlus watched the Captain leave before settling more comfortably against his pile of pillows. Ostensibly he was resting, but Henna knew he was putting on a bit of acting for Anderson's benefit that he was more grievously injured than he was. Indeed, as soon as the door to the cabin closed, he accessed his omni-tool and locked it, before beckoning her to join him.

“Is this,” she gestured between them as she settled on the edge of the bed near his hip, “the standard procedure for a prospective Spectre and their mentor?”

“Of course not.” He leaned over and wrapped his arm around her, hauling her across his body until she was forced to straddle him or be awkwardly slung like a sack of potatoes. “I just like the sounds you make when I fuck you.”

“Nih!” she sputtered. He laughed, a rolling sound that vibrated through his chest and into hers. She sat up on him, intent upon getting off his legs. “Focus, please.”

He stopped her from moving with one hand on her hip, the other rapidly opening her uniform shirt. “I am focused,” he murmured.

He rolled her nipple between his thumb and primary finger and she let her head drop back, unwilling to fight him about it. He urged and teased and before she knew it, she was naked on top of him, his tongue sweeping across the sensitive skin of her breasts, his hands spanning her rib cage to keep her in place. He bucked under her, still fully dressed, and she huffed a breathless laugh at the feel of him already hard beneath her.

“I know I promised you I would take you in the shower, but I'm impatient to hear your cries,” he said into her skin. He rolled them over, so she was on her back and he was between her legs. He grabbed one of his many pillows and tucked it under her head.

“Oh?” she asked, wondering just what he had planned.

There was a gleam in those green eyes that she'd rapidly come to enjoy seeing. He grinned wide at her before letting his tongue literally fall from his mouth to its full length. She drew in a breath, wondering if he meant what she thought he did.

He did.

The first touch was so light she almost couldn't feel it, but he leaned into her, pushing her legs wide to accommodate his broad head and pointed fringe. His tongue curled around her clit before sliding between her folds to find her entrance. She muffled a loud cry by covering her mouth and he chuckled, the vibration passing through to her where they were joined by that single point of contact. Her hips bucked. He took the opportunity to drive his tongue deeper into her.

“Nih...” she panted.

He pulled away, licking up her center as he did. He lifted his head just enough to peer over her splayed out body and his gaze warmed. “I like seeing you all flushed and pink like this. The sounds you make, the way you taste...” He went back to her, spreading her folds with his primary fingers to dart his tongue between them. The sensation was exquisite, driving her slowly insane with an overload of sharp pleasure. “You're wet enough right now that I could slide right in.”

The mental image made her clench and he groaned through his nose as he licked her. It was too much and she came hard, thrashing and arching and holding back her cries until she felt like her throat would burst. She grew quickly oversensitized and tried to close her legs to push him away, but he was too strong for that. But he moved away from her clit and lapped at the fluid she could feel running out of her. She could also feel a blush burning her cheeks.

“Nihlus...please...”

“Please what?” he asked, pulling back and looking at her.

“I want you...inside me...”

“Not yet.”

He knelt between her legs now, the spurs rising off his calves at an odd angle to the rest of his lines. He hooked her legs over them, lifting her hips off the bed to stuff another pillow under her. “I could tie you up like this.”

“Don't you dare!”

He chuckled again, and she knew that he would never do anything she didn't want him to. Which made it worse, because _now_ she wanted him to. She could only imagine what it would be like to be completely at his mercy. She nearly moaned and knew that he knew it from the sudden gleam in his eyes.

“What's the matter, Henna?” he asked, tugging the zipper of his undersuit down agonizingly slow until his fully engorged cock escaped the confines of the material.

“Nothing...” she breathed out in a choked whisper, completely giving away the lie. He smiled, knowing it.

“Maybe when we know each other better,” he purred, curling himself over her, trapping her wrists loosely in his grasp and drawing them up over her head. She could get out of his hold if she wanted to, he had barely any pressure on her delicate bones. She marveled at how much strength was in his wiry muscles. It made her clench and ache to be filled.

“Nihlus...I really need you to fuck me now.”

“Patience, Henna.”

He let go of one wrist to trail his talons over her skin, dipping into her navel and over her hip bones. Perched between her spread thighs he held her at an impossible angle and he ran the backs of his fingers along the line of her leg, making her twitch and jump. He ran them back up her thigh and without preamble stroked deep into her with surety that she was relaxed and aroused enough that he wasn't likely to catch on her flesh. She made a noise somewhere between a cry, a gasp and a groan. He pumped his primary finger in and out of her, watching it as she watched him. His digits were slim, but she felt every inch, could even feel the edges of his talon as he curled his finger inside her, searching for that one spot that would make her howl.

She came apart like an unraveling seam, shaking and sweating, straining not to make too much noise. He withdrew his finger and replaced it finally with the head of his cock.

“I want to take you somewhere,” he said, sinking into her inch by inch. “Somewhere open and vast, where there's no one to hear and you can scream as loud as you want.” He was buried to his plates in her, stretching her to the very edge of pain. He pumped in and out in tiny increments, the slick sound of their joining whispering to her. She clenched down on him and he gave her an appreciative look before taking hold of one leg and bracing it on his shoulder. “Do that again.”

She bore down with her inner muscles, squeezing him. He growled and let her leg drop off his shoulder, although he didn't let it go. Instead he hoisted up the other one, hooking them both at the knees. And he _pounded_ into her. His plates slapped against her ass and she could feel the wetness that had leaked from her and onto the tops of his thighs. It felt too good to have him where she wanted him to feel ashamed of the mess he'd made of her.

He burrowed deep into her heat, dropping across her torso with his arms clutched around her waist. She was folded nearly in half by it, but his cock was hitting her clit now with each thrust. The coiling start of a third orgasm began to rise in her, almost agonizing in its intensity. She clawed at him, tried to draw him deeper, harder. He obliged her, spilling into her, causing the wave to crest. He raised up his head and covered her mouth with his, sharing the air, passing the groans back and forth. When he pulled away, she was too limp to even move.

“Fuck...”

“Indeed. Forgive me, that was...”

“Fantastic?”

He had disengaged from her, arranging her legs so they were straight after the punishment he'd given her hips. He crossed the cabin, pulling his undersuit aright as he went, and grabbed a fresh towel for her to clean up with. When he came back, he shook his head at her.

“Not the word I was looking for. I am not normally so rough with my partners. I hope you don't have any...discomfort.”

“Nihlus, that was the best sex I've ever had in my life.”

He watched her wiping herself clean with a bemused expression on his face, mandibles lax and eyes sort of staring into the middle distance. “Hmm,” he said, and she couldn't tell if that was a good sound or not.

“Nihlus?”

He shook himself out of whatever reverie he had been caught in and smiled down at her still sprawled across two pillows, half crooked on the double bunk. “You should probably get to a sleeping pod. I wish you could stay, but that's not a rumor we need to have started around here while we're still on the station.”

“You're probably right,” she agreed, although she didn't like the sudden change in his demeanor. She didn't have a name for it either. Pensive, sure. Regretful? She didn't think so, but it was hard to tell. She was missing something, something rather important, like the corner piece of a puzzle. He found her clothes and handed them to her a piece at a time. When she was dressed again he unlocked the door to the cabin and said goodnight in a soft rumble, pressing his forehead to hers, oddly sweet after their rough tumble and his strange mood.

She found herself in the corridor by Alenko's now empty duty station wondering what the everloving hell had just happened. And when did she start having emotions about it?


	5. Matter

Henna worked with the requisition officer to organize a steady supply of dextro food and drink in the galley, now that there were three people on board who needed them. She was grateful to Tali and Garrus for that reason alone – since no one was supposed to know she had a presumably dead Spectre aboard – although she found she enjoyed their company and insights as well. She went through the weapons stores too, debating whether or not to buy that shotgun upgrade or wait a little longer. Now that they were away from 'civilization' it was going to be more effort to keep things in good condition.

She made her rounds of the crew, talking to each of the new squadmates – Wrex and his bluster over everything, Garrus and his understated but heartfelt appreciation for her taking him along, Tali and her excitement over the engine – before she headed up to the cabin that was now nominally hers. Alenko gave her a half-hearted salute since he was busy at his terminal and she gave him a sideways grin, waving him back to whatever he was doing. The door of the cabin slid open for her and she found Nihlus seated at the table, a datapad in front of him.

They hadn't yet talked about what happened the night before she went back to the Citadel, when he almost peremptorily threw her out. Nor her feelings of rejection over it, which she was still struggling to understand. And while they now shared the cabin, they hadn't shared anything else since. Granted, he was still healing from his injury. Dr. Chakwas chastised him for exerting himself too much, a gleam in her eye that made Henna think the good doctor knew more than she was letting on.

Plus, a lot had changed. Having confirmed Saren's involvement with the geth and the attack of Eden Prime with Tali's omni-tool data, Henna had been promoted to Spectre herself. The Council wasn't thrilled about it, she sensed, but the Alliance was. She'd been given command of the Normandy while they chased down various leads, on the condition that she still followed the orders that now came directly to her from Admiral Hackett. She also had a variety of alien crew members take up residence – to the dismay of her Navigator and Gunnery Chief. She had enough on her plate without worrying about what she and Nihlus were to each other.

_What were you expecting, anyway_, she thought to herself. _You've made no promises to each other. It was all just fun and casual_. You're _the one who's getting attached_.

“Where are we off to, Spectre Shepard?” he asked when he heard her come in.

“Therum, Spectre Kryik.” The door slid shut behind her and she dropped the professional mien she kept in place outside of this room. “To find a Prothean archaeologist, who also happens to be the daughter of Matriarch Benezia.”

“Dr. Liara T'Soni, yes?”

“Yeah.” She dropped into the chair opposite his and looked him over. He _was_ much improved in the week or so since everything had turned upside down in her life again. No more simple covert pickup, this was now a fully prioritized manhunt. And her reins were longer than they'd ever been in her professional life. She could already see how some Spectres went off the deep end of corruption with such absolute power at their disposal. She reminded herself that more of them were like Nihlus, however.

The look of betrayal he'd worn since being shot had solidified into determination to stop his former mentor and partner. His easy familiarity with the asari connection to this chase had been a surprise, but then again, he made his permanent home on Ilium, a seat of power for the race. Barla Von had been right, there were circles within circles here, and everyone had something on everyone else. Galactic politics reminded her of a spiderweb. Sticky, tangled and tending to do its best work in the shadows. And now she was a part of it, whether she liked it or not.

Nihlus looked at her over the top of his datapad. His green eyes were hooded and serious. “Are you sure about this?”

“No. But it's better than the alternative. Aside from the fact that Dr. T'Soni is a well known Prothean expert, she's asari. If anyone can help me make sense of the beacon's message, it will be her. Not to mention, she might be able to give us some answers about why her mother has chosen to join Saren. From all accounts, the Matriarch is well beloved and considered very wise. It doesn't make sense.”

“No, it doesn't. Have you ever melded with an asari before?”

“No, what's it like?”

He gave her an amused moue. “That's quite the assumption, Henna.”

“Call it pattern recognition. The asari appeal to everyone, it seems. You live alongside them when you're not running around getting shot in the head. And you've been around the block.”

“'Around the block'? What does that even mean?”

“It means you're...experienced.”

“Is that a polite way of calling me old?”

It was her turn to grin. “I don't know. Are you?”

“I'm 51 standard cycles old. I have a good century left in me.”

“It's hard to get used to, how long some of the races' lives are. Humans? We barely make it past a hundred and ten.”

“You're what, 36?”

“Yeah, just turned.”

“You have a good many years left in you too.”

“What a compliment.”

“It was meant as one,” he rejoined lightly, going back to his datapad for another moment. He finished up what he was doing and set it down. His Spectre contacts were much more numerous than her own, which made sense given his long years in the role. What was impressive, however, was how much he was still able to get access to without giving away that he was alive and kicking. “At any rate, melding works much better if you don't actively fight it. You must be relaxed and open to the experience. It's hard to describe other than that. It is not something physical that can be quantified as such. It's almost like being alone in the same room with someone, but seeing through a single pair of eyes.”

“I dunno, that sounds like a pretty good description to me.” She gave him a grin and he returned it. There was something guarded in it, however. She didn't press. They didn't know each other well, for all that they knew too much of each other's preferences in bed. But aside from that and working together as Spectres, they were still at an acquaintance level of familiarity. “Can I ask you something?”

“Certainly.”

“When we met, did you already know who I was?”

“Why do you ask?”

“It just seems...I dunno...like too much kismet.”

“That didn't translate.”

“Sorry. Kismet is like fate. Destiny. What are the odds that two strangers meet in a restaurant, form an instant connection and turn out to be a couple of people who were going to be working together anyway? So I wondered, maybe you already knew who I was and just played dumb.”

“I knew _who_ you were, of course. I nominated you to become a Spectre, after all. I'd done a lot of research on you. Did I know that the woman who walked into that essentially turian restaurant was you before you said your name? No. Your file holo does you no justice.”

“Well, to be fair, I guess...that pic is really old. It was taken right after Elysium.” She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. It had been intensely red then. Now it was much darker, closer to her natural auburn.

“That was only 7 years ago. Do humans really alter so much in such a short time?”

“Oh yeah. Between weight gain or loss, hair growth, changing styles in aesthetics and overall demeanor and expression, the same person can look entirely different week to week.”

“Humans, so changeable.”

“Adaptable. It's what made us the dominant life form on Earth. Our entire collective civilization is less than ten thousand years old. But as a species we've been around for about a hundred thousand or so. Most of that was at a stone age level of technology. We didn't domesticate wheat until roughly sixty five hundred years ago.”

“That's a long time to go without significant cultural advancement. And then to be spacefaring...”

“Two hundred years ago we were still confined to a single planet. We were just beginning to stop using fossil fuels for power. Four hundred years before that there were still major academic arguments in certain cultures about whether our homeworld was round or flat. When we leap, we _leap_.” She huffed a laugh. “Funny to think that someone like Wrex was alive at a time when my own race didn't even have motorized vehicles or electricity. When disease was rampant because we hadn't discovered antibiotics or understood viruses and germs. Makes me feel so young. So...insignificant.”

“And yet, here you are, out among the stars, on your way to stop a threat unlike anything ever known in a galactic age.”

“You think they're real?”

“The Reapers?” He shrugged, a startlingly human movement. “I think Saren _believes_ they're real, and that was sufficient to form an alliance with the geth. That alone is reason enough to stop him.”

“What if they _are_ real?” she asked, ignoring the urge to ask him how he felt about hunting down his former partner.

He pondered the question without speaking for a while. When he finally turned back to her, the skin beneath the plating on his neck was nearly ashen. “Then existence as we know it is about to end. We may survive, but we will be forever changed. And if we don't survive, it won't matter.” He shook his head. “Enough speculation. You have a mission to prepare for.”

***

Wrex cornered her in one of the gatehouses as Garrus kept a watch out for more geth. She wasn't sure what the krogan wanted until he lowered his head and sniffed at her. Therum was _hot_ – no surprise there, it was a volcanic wasteland – and she knew she'd been sweating, but she didn't think it was necessary to draw attention to it.

“Wrex? What are you doing?”

“You smell funny for a human. Kinda like turian. But not the kid. What am I missing spending all my time in the cargo bay?”

“I...”

“You humans haven't spent a whole lot of time around us, so I'll let you in on a little secret. Krogan noses don't lie. So think carefully before you try to spin a yarn for me.”

She cocked her head at him, wondering where a krogan would pick up an idiom like that. Then she focused on his words and realized he wasn't smelling her sweat at all. He could smell her _pheromones_. And evidently Nihlus's. No real point in hiding it, then.

“I'm trusting you with this, but you have to keep it to yourself.”

“I can do that.”

“Spectre Kryik didn't die on Eden Prime.”

He thought about that as she went back to picking the lock of a weapons locker. Some things she wasn't ashamed to say she'd been happy to keep from the streets. Just don't ask her to hack a terminal. That was beyond her entirely. Thank God for omni-gel.

“He's on the Normandy, isn't he?” Wrex said finally. She nodded, pulling out the decent assault rifle and worthless pistol. There was a sniper rifle in there too, and she wondered if Garrus would want it. Wrex was now grinning at her. “Doesn't really explain why you smell like him.”

“Didn't think you'd need a step by step diagram on that one, Wrex.”

“Nah, I just wanted to make you say it out loud. So, a human and a turian. Aren't they supposed to be poison to your kind?”

“Alliance personnel are required to be tested for dextro allergies now. All part of the physical exam.”

“Guess you got lucky.”

She remembered a fellow recruit from her basic days. He'd failed the dextro testing horribly, looking like a whole hive of wasps had stung him for weeks. But his test scores had been high enough to warrant him moving into intelligence, where he wasn't likely to leave Earth. “Yeah,” she said aloud. “I got lucky.”

“From the scent of things, so did Nihlus.”

She tossed him a raised eyebrow. “Was that supposed to be a compliment?”

His teeth gleamed. “Maybe so.”

“C'mon, Garrus will get worried if we're in here much longer.”

“One last thing, why the secrecy?”

“Saren is the one who shot him. Nihlus doesn't want it getting back to him that he missed.”

Wrex nodded as if it all made perfect sense now. “Good plan. A secret weapon is always good to have, even if it's a turian one. Don't worry, Shepard, I won't tell anyone.”

“I appreciate that. Now let's move.”

***

She found Nihlus in the Medbay with Dr. Chakwas and Liara when she was done making her usual post mission rounds. She leaned against one of the beds and watched the doctor check the bandage on his head. On a screen she could see a new image of his cranium and the jagged fracture that ran along the underside of his skull where the bullet had impacted him. It was healing up nicely.

“Gave up on staying hidden?” she asked wryly. The young asari they'd ultimately rescued whipped around at Henna's voice, having been unaware she was there. Nihlus rolled his head on his shoulders to look at her and flicked his mandibles to denote he was amused. They both knew he was getting stir crazy.

“We're outside of Citadel space now. I think it's safe for me to start being seen around the ship.” He shrugged and slid off the bed, towering over Dr. Chakwas. “Who's going to talk?”

“True enough. Besides, Wrex already figured it out.” He huffed, and Dr. Chakwas seemed to be hiding a laugh by turning it to a cough. The wide eyed young asari just looked confused. Henna laughed. “Well, we weren't going to be able to keep you locked up in the Captain's cabin forever.”

“Hmm. I suppose that means I need to go introduce myself to Vakarian, eh?”

“Probably would be a good idea. Tali too.” She walked over to Liara and offered her a calming smile. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Yes. Dr. Chakwas seems very competent and has a broad range of knowledge about other species.”

Henna peered at the doctor in question and nodded agreement. “She should be with all she's studied. She's the best.”

“Why thank you, Commander.”

“I suppose you want to ask me about my mother, don't you?” Liara went on, worry at the edges of her voice. Henna shook her head.

“No, not unless you're ready to talk about her. You still need to rest.”

“I'm not like her, you know. I haven't even spoken to her in years. I don't know why she joined with Saren, or what has led her down this path. But I want you to know you don't have to worry I'm going to turn on you.”

“I wasn't. But I appreciate the knowledge, just the same. Can I get you anything?”

“No. I'll be fine. I thought I might set up in Dr. Chakwas's back room. There are terminals there and it's out of the way. Quiet. I'm...not used to having so many people around.”

“I understand. And that's fine. Make yourself at home.” For some reason, Liara shifted her gaze back to Nihlus, but it wasn't with any sort of flirtatious intent, at least none that Henna could read. No, it seemed more...respectful admiration. She glanced at him and saw something reflected in his face too. Just what she needed, another mystery on her hands. “Well, I just wanted to make sure you were settling in. Spectre Kryik?”

“Yes, Henna?”

She gave him a stern look for using her first name around crew members and continued. “I'll be in my...our...quarters. We have some things to discuss.”

“Of course.”


	6. Assumptions

Geth activity had been reported at Feros, a human colony under the aegis of ExoGeni. Henna sighed. She didn't really want to deal with more of the synthetics, but it seemed that where there were geth, there was Saren Arterius. If they were going to catch him and find out what all this was about, they had to be more proactive about staying on his tail. Even if that meant following a trail of bread crumbs after the fact. She wasn't happy about that, but it was better than blundering around between stars with no aim. At least Feros was in human controlled space. She knew it was illogical, but it felt more like being in a comfortable 'neighborhood', regardless of the fact that it was nearly halfway across the galaxy from Earth.

Then they could start working their way back to the Citadel, especially since she'd told Admiral Kahoku that she'd look into his missing platoon. Just because she was a Spectre now didn't mean she could lose sight of being an Alliance Marine first, according to Hackett. She disliked having to scuttle around for the Alliance doing what amounted to fetch quests, but she supposed it was only fair. The Normandy _was_ the fastest frigate in the fleet now, with a state of the art stealth system to boot. The Alliance could send her on top security missions while maintaining an attitude of disavowal due to her Spectre status, and they were going to make as much use of that as they could. She didn't like it, and the extra paperwork took time that could be spent in much more productive ways. But she really couldn't complain and expect to keep the fleet's new toy, so she kept her head down and did what she was told to do.

She tossed her datapad down and frowned at it just as the door of the cabin slid open. She looked up to see Nihlus come in, carrying a tray of steaming bowls and plates. “Lieutenant Alenko said you hadn't eaten yet.”

“Kaidan needs to keep his nose in his own lane,” she muttered.

Nihlus chuckled and put a bowl in front of her. It was bland and colorless, as most MRE's were, but it at least smelled like stew and not paste. She grabbed a spoon off the tray and dug in. She saw that his own meal looked like week old bacon and a bowl of what appeared to be clear broth, but he ate and drank without comment. She had to admit, she felt better after eating.

“Joker says we're on approach to Feros,” Nihlus said.

“It seems as good a place as any to start. It's a human colony built on top of Prothean ruins. Like so much else in the galaxy. What else did Joker say?”

“That he was glad I wasn't dead, although he had a strange look on his face when he said it.”

“Gotta take Joker with the proverbial grain of salt.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means not to listen too closely to a source, it can be exaggerated or misleading.”

“Idioms. Humans are strange beings.”

“You seem to like us well enough,” she countered, pointing her spoon at him happily ensconced in her cabin. He grinned, not denying it. “Did you meet the rest of the squad?”

“Yes.”

She waited for him to elaborate and when he didn't, cocked her head at him. “And...?”

“Vakarian has potential, if he can get past his father's reputation hanging over him telling him to be a proper C-Sec Officer. Tali is young and impressionable, as befits a quarian on her Pilgrimage. Wrex I had already met. Long ago.”

“How?”

“He's been a bounty hunter a long time. And Spectres have contacts everywhere. You know that.”

“And Liara?”

He faced softened. That was the first thing she thought of. His plates relaxed and his mandibles flickered. “She's a good kid, struggling to get out from under her mother's suddenly much darker shadow. Her extensive knowledge should come in handy, although don't expect her to be any good in a fight.”

“Am I missing something here, Nihlus?”

“What do you mean?”

Henna huffed, exasperated by the lack of understanding between their races that made it hard to just ask. Or the unfair advantage their military formality gave them for playing coy. Well, nothing for it. Might as well take the plunge. It wasn't like maintaining a sense of proper etiquette had to be observed since they'd been lovers. “I mean, is there something between you and Liara that I should know about? You voice changes when you talk about her.”

“You think I...with _Liara_?” He looked...aghast was the best way she could put it. As if she had suggested something foul. “Spirits, she's barely more than a child!”

“She's older than I am...by a good 70 years.”

“Only in revolutions around a primary. Henna...asari live to be over a thousand, on average. At 106, Liara T'Soni is no more emotionally mature than...than a turian in their first years of service.” He had started pacing restlessly as he exclaimed and now he stopped, looking over at her still sitting at the table, out of his way. He did take up an awful lot of space when he did that, she noted. He seemed to notice too, and came to stand next to her, turning her and taking her hands in his. “Henna. Are you...worried? Jealous?”

“Not...precisely. Just...wondering, I guess?” She shrugged helplessly. “We don't really have any...boundaries. We started out all hot and heavy, and then...poof...suddenly you barely touch me. I mean, I'm not trying to pin you down if you're over it or something but...”

“You want to know what context to put on our relationship. Is that it?”

“I suppose? I get that we have very different traditions and culture about relationships, but...” she shrugged again, still unable to quite figure out what she wanted to say. “I'm feeling a bit turned around. I don't know where we stand.”

“You know that turians bond, yes?”

“I mean, yeah, I kinda assumed.”

“Isn't there a human saying about that?” He grinned at her and she pulled a hand out of his to swat at his keel. “All right, I'm sorry. Yes, turians bond. Often by the time they're my age, even. No, I'm not asking you,” he hurried to add. He chuckled. “Spirits, who would have thought this would be what we ended up talking about in our free time. Anyway...unbonded turians do not put any particular emphasis on sexual matters. This isn't to say there isn't intimacy or committed couples who are faithful, I guess is the right word. But for the most part, we just don't put much importance on it. Sex is a biological function. It feels good to both partners, if you're doing it right. It's no different than a good meal, a hearty workout. It's stress relief and enjoyment of sensation. It's...”

“Casual.” She wasn't sure if she'd intended such a sharp tone or not. Regardless, he heard it and stepped back from her, letting her hands go. And to be fair to herself, she _had_ been trying to keep in mind that what they had was purely casual. No strings. She had no one to blame but herself for wanting more.

“Does it bother you?”

She sighed and fought to keep her face even. “No, it doesn't bother me. It's just...well...” It was her turn to pace and she tried to keep her steps light and her arms tucked so she didn't end up looking like she was marching across a field. “Okay, I've been a soldier for much of my life. Committed relationships don't enter into that equation. The Alliance has strict rules against fraternization, and with good reason. Any...encounters I've had tend to be shortlived. _Casual_. And definitely outside the bounds of my career. But within the timeframe of them, it's understood that no one window shops, if that translates.”

“More or less,” he said, watching her move back and forth across the cabin. “Serial monogamy.”

“Yes! Exactly. I just...I didn't know if that applied here.” She stopped her pacing to look at him, making herself meet his eyes. This was not a conversation she was used to having, with anyone. Nor was it one she expected to have when he brought in dinner for the two of them. She couldn't even gauge if it was going well or not. “We haven't discussed it.”

He crossed his arms, one hand over his lower face as if he was trying to hide a smile. Except that it wasn't hidden at all, given away by his flaring mandibles. “Henna, I'm not asking you to be my bondmate, nor do I think this relationship is tested enough to call it committed. However, yes, the concept of serial monogamy applies here. I am not interested in that child in a sexual manner. Or in Tali, before you ask. Or even in that young pup Garrus, although he's rather attractive. Or anyone else aboard this ship. Only you.”

“Wait, Garrus?”

“Did you think we had such stigma as you humans seem to have about same sex relations?”

“Not at all...I mean...I kinda figured the way you talked about Saren that you...uh. Hmm.”

“Making assumptions, again? Well, you were right with that one, although it's been over for years. Still, as far as Garrus is concerned...he's too young for my taste.”

“Okay,” she said weakly. She felt a bit like the topic had gotten away from her somehow. She stopped and parsed through the last few minutes and decided that yes, it had gone well. They had entered some murkier water than she was expecting but the upshot was clear. He wasn't looking to _engage_ with anyone else. And neither was she. She felt like perhaps she needed to say that. “I'm not looking elsewhere either.”

“I know that.”

His dry tone sparked her irrepressible snarky side and she smirked at him. “Oh you do, do you?”

He grinned, looking more at ease now that the tension seemed to have bled away. “When would you have the time?”

“Huh, you're not wrong.”

“C'mere,” he beckoned, opening his arms to her. She went to them, tucking herself against the side of his keel. He was tall enough that he he needed to bend forward a bit to rest his head on top of hers. “I suppose it needed to be said, and I'm glad we cleared it up. We did clear it up, didn't we?”

“Yes,” she said against him. “We did. Mostly.”

“Do you wish to stop?”

“God, no. I've never known anyone like you. I'd be an idiot to stop.”

“I'm fairly certain that was a compliment, but I'm not sure...” he drawled. She lifted her head to scowl at him. He was grinning, his eyes glinting.

“You're such a tease.”

“Oh, if you want teasing,” he said, dropping his voice and subvocals to a rumble, “I can tease.”

She closed her eyes against the wave of goosebumps that had risen all over and he took the opportunity to lean down and kiss her. Then he pressed his forehead to hers. It was soothing rather than than inflaming.

“I like being with you, Nih,” she said. “I like it a lot. But I was starting to feel out of my depth a bit.”

“I like it too. I'd like to keep it that way. Don't ever be afraid to just ask, you know. I don't offend easily, and I know this is your first...cross species liaison.”

“You make it sound so clinical,” she laughed.

He joined her. “It needs to be sometimes.” He let her go and gathered up their dirty dishes in preparation to take them back to the galley. “Now...who are you taking with you once you get to Feros?”

***

_I should have brought Nihlus_, she thought to herself, facing the enormous alien plant. The Thorian. What was she even supposed to do with this thing? Williams let out a sound like a disgusted groan, while Alenko just stood silent and stoic, fighting off a headache. She'd thought that bringing her human squadmates to a human colony would be better, but now...?

Now she just wished she had someone more experienced at her side.

“I should have brought a bigger gun,” she said. Both Marines snorted.

“Next time you should borrow Nihlus's again,” Alenko said.

“Next time I should just bring Nihlus,” she retorted, letting the thought out aloud. She heard Williams take a breath as if she was going to say something about that, but the Thorian was...vomiting?...what looked like an asari in commando leathers. No more time to talk then.

***

She arrived back on the Normandy with creeper bits in her hair, spit on her armor, a new upgrade for her omni-tool and the entire collective experience of a dead empire in her brain.

She was tired. And she still had the crew debrief to do.

Nihlus was waiting on the other side of the airlock. Alenko and Williams peeled off without saying a word or looking at her. Joker was suspiciously quiet too, going through the motions of taking off from Feros with unaccustomed diligence and decorum. Henna stood in the airlock, just trying to keep her feet under her without collapsing under the weight of his relieved green stare. She was surprised he wasn't angry. He had every right to lambaste her for screwing up, for not having all the information before storming into the unknown. For trying to save as many colonists as she could – although she didn't actually think he'd criticize that. However, she'd probably made a poor impression on the ExoGeni executives, since she straight up shot their operative. No telling how the Council was going to react to that.

And don't get her started on the Thorian itself, the asari with the Cipher, what they'd learned about Saren and the systematic brainwashing apparently going on, or the fact that half the priceless Prothean ruins had fallen into a hole when the Thorian had collapsed. That was the second ruin she'd destroyed in her pursuit of Saren. It didn't bode well for her success around the galaxy.

“You need a long shower, Commander,” he said softly. “And some food, I think.”

It broke through her exhaustion, that gentleness. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling. Now, more than ever in her life, she wanted someone to hold her and tell her it was all going to be all right. “Never again,” she said. “I won't leave you behind ever again.”

He silently took her arm to help her into the ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, the dreaded 'where do we stand?' conversation. So much potential for ending up making an ass of one's self. I guess we should be glad certain turians don't shy away from the sticky subjects, eh?


	7. Greed**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone order a chapter of shower scene hurt/comfort and sex?

The hot water hit the back of her neck hard enough to feel like a massage given by claws as she let her head fall forward, her hands braced on the back wall of tiles. The water pressure stung with punishing precision, but the heat felt so good pounding on her, washing down her back in a wave. She had the whole place to herself – no one was going to deny their Commander a chance to shower in peace after the day she'd had. She was sure Alenko and Williams were already regaling the galley with stories of the mission.

In all actuality, it hadn't been that bad, all things considered. She'd faced days like this before. It was nothing compared to say, Elysium, for instance. But the strain remained. The burden of innocent lives still felt like it was on her shoulders. And she had a sinking feeling this was all just the beginning.

She distantly heard the door of the communal washroom open and close and suppressed a sigh. Maybe she didn't have the place to herself. She didn't necessarily jump to finish up, but she made a greater effort to act like she was washing and not just standing there letting the shower flog her. If nothing else, she'd managed washed her hair clean of the creeper guts and bits.

The twelve individual stalls – six on a side – were partitioned by thick, waterproof sheets, then curtained off. It was a purely human addition to the turian design of the ship. Modesty in the military was a privilege few attained. But humans tried to provide at least a modicum of it to their troops, unlike turians who seemed to have zero notions that their people might want to be separate and invisible to each other while bathing.

The curtain pulled back a few inches on hers, letting the steam out and a wave of cooler air in. She peered over her shoulder with a start and a scathing invective on her lips. She relaxed when she saw it was Nihlus. She wasn't going to complain that someone had barged into her shower as long as it was him.

“Feeling any better?”

“Mmph,” she grunted.

His mandibles flared. “Sounds about right. You want some company, or would you rather be alone?”

She turned, letting him see the bruises blossoming on her chest and arms, the scratches on her face and neck where she'd been exposed to the screaming creatures who literally threw themselves at her. She let him look his fill, comfortable in her skin, and with him.

He was naked, she saw, his dark reddish brown plates contrasting with his paler skin. She beckoned to him. “Come into my office, Spectre.”

His brow plates shifted in what she would call 'raised eyebrows' in a human and his grin widened. “I could do business here with you.”

“Hmm, I'll bet you could.” Bantering with him always made her feel better. Grounded. Where a moment before she had been tired enough to drop, now she felt energy coursing through her, making her stand a bit taller, a bit steadier. He pulled the curtain closed again and moved into her personal space, the spray hitting him and making his plates glisten.

She let her head fall gently to his keel and he rubbed her back, his talons gently rasping on her waterlogged skin. “This Spectre gig isn't all it was cracked up to be,” she murmured into his hide. He chuckled. “I'm glad you're here. I don't know how I'd manage on my own.”

“You'd manage. You're strong. Resilient.”

She tipped her head back to look at him. Henna was an average sized woman, neither tall nor short, and yet he stood head and shoulders above her. As much as she hated the cliché, there was just something primal about being cocooned by a man, even a turian one. She laced her arms around his cowl and tugged him down so she could kiss him, not wanting any more words. He didn't need much coaxing.

She tasted ship recycled water and his own salty sweet flavor. He leaned on her, pushing her back against the wall of the shower between the partition next to them and the controls. His hand splayed against the tiles, keeping her from slamming against it. He didn't stop kissing her. She wanted to crawl into his skin, to rest inside him like a bird in an egg. She wished the universe could just reverse and let her exist as she had a month ago. Nihlus must have sensed her mood and pulled back a bit to look down at her.

“Do you want comfort or mindlessness?” he asked, the subvocals resonating through his body and into hers.

“I have to choose?” she replied plaintively.

“Aren't you a greedy little thing?” he murmured, lowering his face into the crook of her neck, his arms tightening around her. He licked up the water from her neck, and she let her head fall back to give him more access.

“Greedy for you, maybe.”

“Hmm.”

He stepped back and turned her to face the tiles, grabbing the utilitarian soap that seemed standard issue for any military anywhere. He rubbed the bar across her back, paying close attention to the edges where her shoulder blades stood out against her skin, his free hand passing over the swipes to lather. He worked his way down her back, across her hips and over the curve of her buttocks. He knelt behind her and she felt both soap and hands on her thighs, one at a time. Then her calves. She was leaning against the tiles now, soothed and almost boneless from the tender treatment.

“Turn around,” he said, still on the floor. She dutifully turned to him, her breath catching to see him there, his face level with her hips. He worked the soap back up the front, slipping his primary digit between her legs and he stood, swiping the soap ever higher across her abdomen, gentle over her bruises. Just as he reached her breasts with it, he pressed against her clit and she gasped. “I like that sound,” he murmured into her ear, still pressing and still soaping.

“Nih...”

“Hmm, I like that sound too.”

She braced her hands on his shoulders, wet but still firm, and twined a leg around his, hooking on his spur. He growled appreciatively and let his finger glide deeper between her folds, just barely slipping inside her. Just enough to tease. She closed her eyes, letting the day wash off like the soap, letting the sensation take her away from a curtained off alcove of a shower stall to a place where it was just them. Just this moment. She rocked against his hand, working herself up.

He pulled away. Her eyes opened in protest but she saw him grinning at her from the other side of the spray. “Rinse off,” he said.

She got all the soap off her body, noting with anticipation that he was sliding out from his plates, watching her. When she was done, she opened her arms to him. He came into them and backed her against the tiles again. He kissed her hard, demanding she open for his tongue, sucking the air right from her lungs with his intensity. His mouthplates nipped at her lips, then moved down her chin and throat, licking up water droplets and just barely stinging her skin. Their hands raced over each other, tracing and touching. Arousing.

Her hands wrapped around his cock, now fully emerged and hard between her palms. He was slick and her fingers stroked along his articulated length with familiarity. She knew he liked when she just barely squeezed the base of him, and when she ran the pads of her fingers around the head without touching the rest of it. With both hands she could stroke him like a potter at a wheel, smoothing the sides and pulling the skin just a bit. He groaned, his forehead dropping onto her shoulder so he could see down the length of her body to where she touched him. He shuddered when she hit the sensitive spots and groaned when she gripped him tight, her fingers wrapped as far as they would go around him.

“Henna...this wasn't entirely the idea.”

“_I'm_ enjoying it.”

“So am I, but if you make me come all over you, I won't get to jack you up against the wall.”

Her breath caught and her hands stilled for a second. His brought up his head and _smirked_ at her. Without breaking eye contact, his slid his hands under her ass and lifted her, letting her legs come around his hips, her back against the tiles. Her hands were now trapped between them, still around his cock.

He tipped his hips away, giving her room to maneuver his erection between her legs to her opening. She guided him in and he pushed at the same time, filling her. Her hands otherwise unoccupied now, she trailed them up his body to cup the back of his head as he began to thrust inside her hard. He propped her legs up and pounded at her, driving her flush with the tiles.

“C'mon, make noise for me,” he growled against her mouth. He hit a particularly deep spot and she whimpered. “No, more than that. No one will hear you.”

Each thrust urged her higher, closer to climax and she began to pant and cry out with each stroke, the ridges along the top of his cock hitting her clit every time. Her hands fitted themselves into the spaces between his fringe and he growled some more, pumping into her with greater ferocity. She fell over the edge of her orgasm, letting out a ragged cry that was swallowed up by the steam and running water. She was breathless when it was over and his eyes bore into hers, his body slapping against her. There was an expression of intensity she hadn't seen from him before and she suddenly felt like the best kind of prey. _Coveted_. She rode him as he plunged, ignoring completely the water splattering into her eyes off his plates.

He hitched her higher into his hips, and she bit her lip as he hit a new depth and angle. His strokes weren't hitting her clit anymore and she squirmed, wanting that feeling again. He smiled crookedly at her – a singularly strange expression for a turian.

“Go on, touch yourself,” he said. She tentatively let her fingers drift down between them, working her way towards rubbing her clit with the side of her knuckle in time to his thrusts. She felt herself tighten on him in anticipation of coming again and he groaned, vibrating her with his subvocals.

“God, Nih...do that again...” she begged.

He stopped, buried fully inside her and _rumbled_ as she rubbed herself. With a piercing shout she came on him, clenching tight, spasming until she shook all over. He laughed and thrust hard one last time, spilling into her. He pressed his forehead to hers.

“Spirits that was good,” he whispered.

He let her down by degrees until she was on her own two feet and the stream of their mixed fluids had disappeared in the flow of now distinctly cooler water running over them both. They still stood within each other's embrace, touching lightly, kissing gently now that the storm had passed. When the water grew too cold, they shut it off and Nihlus wrapped her in a towel, scrubbing her down until she was pink and chafed in more ways than one. She took the other towel and did the same for him.

“Now,” he said when they were at least presentable to the rest of the ship – oh God, the crew...

“Now?”

“You need to eat something, and get some sleep. Debrief can be tomorrow.”

“I shouldn't put if off...”

“You owe them no explanation, you know. As a Spectre, you owe them nothing.”

“As Commander...” She caught the look in his eye and challenged it with one of her own. There was no real feeling of argument between them. They both felt too good for that. Still, she wasn't going to let him dictate how she should captain her own ship. “Nih, they're my crew. And we're chasing down a completely unknown adversary. I owe them an explanation of what we find. Besides, you know the Council will want to weigh in.”

“Fuck the Council,” he said, suddenly sharp. “If they kept better track of us, this wouldn't have happened.”

“We don't know that.”

“_I_ know that. Saren was always ruthless, but he wasn't _this_.”

She cupped her hand on his jaw, feeling the strain in his mandible under her palm. “We'll find him and stop him. But if it makes you feel so much better, we can do it tomorrow.”

“As long as you eat something.”

“I will. And so will you. No more hiding in the cabin.”

His mandible flared against her hand as he smiled. “All right, Henna.”


	8. Level

They had dinner with the squad and some of the off duty crew. It was strange seeing them all gathered around the long table, Tali, Garrus and Nihlus at one end with their dextro food so different than the levo side. Henna sat between Nihlus and one of the engineers, who companionably carried on a conversation with Tali about the engine design. There were some wary looks at the turians from some of the enlisted, but the meal wasn't tense, by any means.

Nihlus finished up and announced he had some research to look into, and Garrus and Wrex went back to to the cargo bay where they spent most of their time. Once the table was mostly clear, Henna saw Liara emerge from the Medbay shyly. The maiden still wasn't used to so many folks around her and tended to wait to eat. Henna lingered over her coffee, well, what passed for coffee on a multi-species military vessel.

“Are you settling in?” she asked as the asari got herself a plate and some of the leftovers still on display in the Mess.

“Oh! Commander, you startled me.”

Henna cocked a brow. “Lost in thought? Sorry.”

“I have been studying the files on the Thorian that you sent me. What an amazing creature, to have lived so long and experienced so much.”

“Part of me thinks it was a pity we had to kill it, then I remember those creepers and the way the colonists were brainwashed into shooting at us.” She shook her head. “The universe will never be done surprising us, I guess.”

“I suppose not.” Liara sat down across from her and started eating in neat bites. “Your own species is fascinating and frightening too.” Her face flushed nearly purple when she realized what she'd said. “I'm sorry, that came out...wrong.”

“I get it. We must have been like the boogeyman, appearing out of nowhere and just sort of taking over the extra spaces.”

“The...boogeyman?”

Henn cracked a smile. “Something we tell our children to be afraid of. It hides in the closet or under the bed, or out in the woods at night. If it catches you, terrible things can happen. A fairy tale.”

“Oh, I see. Do all human fairy tales have such a terrifying aspect to them?”

“Mostly, yeah.”

“Why?”

Henna leaned on her elbows, thinking it through. “I guess because before we discovered the mass relays, the unknown was frightening, and so we told ourselves stories to make up reasons for why that is. Even on our homeworld, there were many unknowns for a long time. And in turn, that fear could be used as teaching moments for our children, to keep them mindful and safe. In a backwards sort of way, I guess.”

“Your species has come a long way in a short time,” Liara said softly. “It must be strange for you, to meet with all these others, to be the newcomers. It's hard to fit in.”

Henna wondered if Liara was feeling a bit of that strangeness being here and said nothing for a while. She could see Liara's point, that humans were new and relatively untested by the Council races in terms of allegiance. At the same time, humans were well known to be brash and uncaring of others' opinions. For what appeared to be a stable government, it must be worrisome to have such a variable on the playing field.

“Humans have a saying that water finds its own level.” Liara peered at her curiously. “It means that we all find our place to fit sooner or later.”

“I don't know that much about your species,” the asari said with an air of confession. “I would like to study you further.”

“You make it sound like a lab project.” She smiled so it didn't sting, but Liara still jumped like she'd been scalded.

“Oh! I didn't mean it like that. See, this is why I prefer dig sites. No one to embarrass myself in front of.”

“Hey, it's okay. We don't know much about _any_ of the other races out there, unless you count turians on the other end of a gun. We're all sort of fumbling around in the dark. Study is good.”

“You seem to be figuring turians out from the same side of the gun well enough.”

Henna smiled and decided to leave out just _how_ she was figuring them out. No sense traumatizing a child, if what Nihlus said about her relative age was true. “I guess. Our cultures are so...different and yet not. So many traditions, especially military ones, line up, but where they don't, they _really_ don't.”

“Do you think your introduction to the galaxy would have gone differently if you had met another race first?”

“It's possible. Then again, human militaries have a long history of shooting first and asking questions later, so I can't say it would have gone any better with another race. For a long time we had a hard enough time getting along with each other, much less anyone else. I think we've done a pretty good job integrating into a universe that's much more crowded than we ever dreamed a hundred years ago.”

“It's strange to think that when I was born, your kind didn't even know of anything outside your home system.” The asari seemed bemused by that fact, one that had hovered in the back of Henna's mind more than once as well. “You move so fast, as a species, I mean. Like the salarians.”

“They're the skinny ones, right? Amphibious nature, if I recall?”

“Yes. But they're so brilliant. Scientists, inventors, engineers...they tend to think as fast as they live.”

“What do you mean?”

“They have short life spans.”

“Don't we all, compared to the asari?”

“I suppose that's true. But salarians only live about 40 standard galactic cycles.”

“Oh. You mean ridiculously short.” She laughed, and Liara was coaxed to join her by the warmth of it. “That's a real blink of an eye, even to me. I suppose it's worse for you?”

“In some respects. I've been studying the Protheans longer than most salarians who are alive today have been...alive.” It seemed to shock her, putting it that way. Henna watched her face go through a series of expressions as she decided to change the subject. “I am still amazed that you were able to find a working Prothean beacon, you know. Even though you were ambushed by the geth. But...they were designed to work on Protheans, and I'm not sure what the geth thought they would accomplish by taking it.”

“Well, we figure that Saren is the one who used it.”

“Hmm. I wonder if it was as confusing for him as it was for you. Neither of you has the right physiology to interact with it properly. I'm surprised you were able to make any sense of the message at all. A lesser mind would have been utterly destroyed by the overload. You must be very strong willed, Commander.”

A flash of holding the defense in place at Elysium went through her mind, but she didn't want to bring it up. “That's why Saren wanted the Cipher, I think.”

“Is that what you found on Feros?”

“Yes.”

“Has it helped?”

“I'm not sure. It's still a confusing jumble, all out of order and half glimpsed. And now with the Cipher...” she trailed off, not sure what how she wanted to describe it. “I feel like my whole mind has been changed, shifted just slightly to the side. But it still doesn't make any sense.”

Liara finished up her meal and stood up suddenly, carrying her empty dishes to the Mess for recycling. “Forgive me, Commander, I didn't mean to take up your time.”

“Don't worry about it, Liara. I like knowing the people I'm working with. I have a pretty open door policy.”

“Even with Spectre Kryik on your heels all the time?” Henna got the feeling the young asari wasn't nearly as innocent as she appeared, if that cunning side eye meant anything. “You are not what I expected. I wasn't expecting to find such a welcome among those who know what my mother has done.”

“I know human stereotypes paint us all as reactionary, but I try to judge each individual upon their own merits.”

“I can appreciate that.”

“I'm glad,” she said with a smile. Liara went back to her little back room in the Medbay, but she stayed in the galley alone, finishing her coffee and enjoying the peace and quiet. She still had to debrief her squad about the events of Feros, and probably talk to the Council, but for now, she was just a crew member of a ship, riding between the stars, small and insignificant. And she was all right with that.

***

Coming out of the meld was like disconnecting from the world's most immersive VR. Henna rubbed her eyes, even though they'd been closed from the moment she and Liara linked their minds together. The asari looked...wan. Her skin had paled to a color like a noon sky, washed out and faded. Her freckles stood out starkly in the light of the comm room.

“That was incredible,” the young woman said. “I never dreamed it would be so complex and...vivid.” She collected herself, attempting to tamp down a rather furious blush and Henna wondered just how much passed from her to the asari that wasn't related to the Prothean beacon or the Cipher. _Nihlus_... Well, now there was no doubt Liara knew the state of their relationship.

“Are you all right?”

“Yes, Commander. I'm...I am fine. A little tired, perhaps. Did it help?”

Henna consulted herself, picturing the jumble of images the beacon had impressed upon her brain, sorting through the myriad layers of the Cipher. Some things definitely seemed clearer, but it still didn't make sense in a way that would help them. “Some,” she said, to reassure the asari.

“Anything relevant?” Nihlus asked, seemingly voicing what everyone around them was thinking. She could see it in their faces.

“I'm not sure yet. It seems to be a warning, a catalog of what happened to them in their final days.” She shrugged. “It's hard to put into words.”

“I think parts of the vision are missing, Commander. Saren must have the missing parts, or maybe he's found another beacon somewhere. If we can find the missing data...” Liara put a hand on her forehead. It would have been humorously dramatic if not for the sudden sway and stumble. Her embarrassed blush had paled to a blue so light it was almost white.

“Liara, I think that took more out of you than you're saying. We're finished here. Go get some rest.”

“I...yes, Commander.”

“The rest of you, dismissed.”

Nihlus stayed behind, and stood at her side as she contemplated the communications console for calling the Council. “What will you tell them?”

“I don't know. We don't have much to report, yet, do we?”

“No. We don't.” He laid his hand on her arm. “Maybe we should tell them about me, get my official standing reinstated. Two Spectres can work faster than one.”

“No.” She shook her head. “Not yet. I'm still concerned that knowledge you're alive would get to Saren and he would take greater steps to thwart us. You have to admit, he hasn't done much in the way of stopping us from following him. He must know that we're on his trail of breadcrumbs. Anyway...the Council knows we saved the colony on Feros, that we overthrew the Thorian and that Saren got away. That's all they need to know for now. It's not like they believe me anyway about the Reaper threat.”

“From their perspective, you have to see that it's far fetched.”

She hung her head with a sigh. “Yeah, I know. And I'm just a human to boot. No political sway from the savage.”

“You aren't savages, Henna. You're just...”

She looked at him from the corner of her eye, guessing he was looking for something more diplomatic than 'immature'. She cracked a smile. “Don't worry about it, Nihlus. Once we're done with this side trip for Admiral Kahoku, we'll be on the move again towards finding Saren. Hopefully we'll have something more to report then.”

“With any luck, it will be that we've stopped him dead in his tracks.”

“How are you holding up with this? It must feel...terrible, having to chase down a friend.”

“_Former_ friend. Turians are pragmatic as a race. And hold a high standard for ourselves and anyone who works with us. Those who dishonor themselves are a reminder that no one is perfect. I would know. Those that dishonor their race are reviled and can only be redeemed by a swift death. Saren is a threat to everything we as a species stand for, not to mention a threat to everything the galaxy holds dear. I need to stop him.”

“Personal vengeance takes no place in it?” she asked, curious. She leaned on the banister of the console and regarded him. He stood very straight, his arms crossed as he so often stood when he wasn't carrying a gun. It was like he didn't know what to do with himself when he wasn't in combat. She could understand that very well.

“Personal vengeance will be gotten when he is served justice for his greater crimes. I can't ask for more than that.”

“Well, you could. But you won't.” She smiled at him, some faith restored in the universe. He was an honorable turian, even if he claimed he wasn't. She wasn't ready to examine too closely why it mattered, but she could admit to herself that it made her feel better that it did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, someone put plot in my porn. Hope that isn't too disappointing.


	9. Common

The route to Edolus was lengthy, even by mass relay. It was off the beaten path, so to speak, and they had to make a couple of relay jumps in order to get there from their location, which was no issue in and of itself. But then they had to use their FTL drive to get to the Sparta system from the Artemis Tau Relay. If she'd realized they needed to go there to help the Admiral, she would have done it while they were 'in the neighborhood' to find Liara. The Normandy had to dump the heat built up from the FTL travel, since a little friction in space went a long way, which necessitated dropping out of FTL and lengthened the voyage. At least, that's what she understood of the engineering babble Tali and Adams talked about.

So, since the trip was going to take several galactic standard days, the squad members took turns entertaining each other. Henna thought it was a good way for them to get to know each other too. The first night they watched Fleet and Flotilla with Tali. She had to admit it was cute and funny, if a bit cheesy. She noticed that Garrus pretended to hate it, but secretly enjoyed it. Nihlus was more open about loving it, which surprised her. Who knew there was such a romantic inside him? The rest of the crew ribbed and teased the show for its awfulness pretty evenly, but all in good fun. Alenko sat next to Tali while they watched, his face rapt and not always on the screen. That bore keeping track of, she thought.

The second night, Wrex taught them krogan war hymns. Only the two turians had the vocal range to hit the bass notes, but neither seemed too interested in singing songs about their own demise, since many were for fighting turians. Wrex had a sly grin on his face the whole time. And the squadmates learned that Commander Jehanne Shepard could not only carry a tune, but could hold a note nearly as long as the ancient krogan.

On the final night of the trip, Alenko patched his omni-tool into the extranet feed from Earth and put on a hockey game. Naturally, Henna had to tease him about being a Canadian stereotype, but watching Wrex become enthralled – and the two turians become flabbergasted – was well worth it. She made a mental note to keep track of the hockey schedule and patch into the nearest comm buoy for the feed from now on. It was only midseason, after all.

“You humans really do this sport for fun? It's...terrifying,” Garrus said.

“What do you mean? No other race glides around on razorblades and hits a solid rubber brick into each other and occasionally a net?” Henna joked, earning herself a glare from both of them. Even Alenko snorted through his nose at the dubious – but apt – description of ice hockey.

“No wonder your race was so eager to find new worlds,” Wrex said, a fair amount of respect in his voice. “You're fearless enough to make even krogan take a second look. Pity you didn't meet us first,” he added with a sideways glance at Nihlus and Garrus.

“Thanks, Wrex,” Alenko said jovially. “That's just what I needed to think about.”

“No doubt that first contact would have been just as...undiplomatic,” Henna said lightly, facing the sudden tension head on and popping it. “Sorry, Wrex.”

“Don't worry about it, Shepard.” He grinned, evidently getting the rise out of everyone that he wanted to before turning back to watch the game. She shook her head. Yeah, they were all going to be just fine if they could make jokes about it.

***

Henna left Alenko and Wrex to their in-depth discussion of the rules and differing teams. Kaiden was a fan of the Edmonton team, while Wrex had been more interested in their opponent, who hailed from Boston. She wondered if that was only because their mascot was a snarling bear or if it was just to be contrary to the human. She couldn't say there was any significant difference in the playing styles of the two teams.

She wandered after the turians, who had left already to head down to the cargo bay to work on the Mako. They would need it in top shape for this next planetary run, and Henna was honest enough to say she drove it like a maniac.

“How does she get this much junk in these axles?” Nihlus was asking Garrus, the pair of them nearly completely beneath the vehicle, only their pointed toes showing. She hopped up on a crate, perfectly still and silent although they must have heard the elevator arrive.

“You've never gone on ground missions with her, have you? She drives this poor tank like it's a skycar. Following the path of least resistance isn't in her vocabulary. She goes _over_ the mountains instead of around them.”

“Hmm.” There was some clanking and some swearing that didn't translate and she stifled a giggle as a bit of rock flew out from under the Mako to roll across the cargo bay floor, tossed out by one of them as they worked. More clanking followed and Nihlus slid out from underneath to grab a new set of tools, catching sight of her. She winked at him and put a finger over her lips. She was curious to know what Garrus's thoughts were when he didn't think she was listening. Nihlus gave her an exasperated look, but didn't give her away. He slid back under and with an air of casualness said, “The Commander does like to have her own way on things.”

“Yes, she does,” Garrus said, grunting as he pulled something else loose. “But I like that about her. It's nice working with someone who doesn't care so much about the rules and just gets the job done. No offense.”

“None taken,” Nihlus replied. “Is that why you wanted to become a Spectre?”

Wait, Garrus had wanted...

“Partly. Working with C-Sec...I guess the actual justice part never felt...satisfying. If I have a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I take him down, as long as I do.”

“What about innocent bystanders?”

“If they see the law coming, they should get out of the way,” Garrus said sharply, followed by another grunt and another chunk of rock flying out from beneath the vehicle. Okay, maybe she had driven it over that bank a bit hard.

She thought over Garrus's words as she watched them work, wondering if he was just that naive or just that ruthless. Evidently Nihlus wondered the same thing. “They can't always get out of the way, though,” he said. “You told me yourself that Dr. Michel was being held at gunpoint when you found her. That H...Shepard distracted those thugs long enough for you to shoot one. Which was risky, by the way.”

“I suppose. I guess in a broader sense I feel like the regulations just hinder my ability to do my job. But out in the streets...”

“Sometimes it's hard to make the call, and sometimes it isn't, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I'm sure the Commander would have a few things to say about that too. After all, you know her history. She'd held the line of defense at Elysium for six hours before Alliance back up arrived. She had to take those innocent bystanders and make them soldiers. And to top it all off, she didn't _have_ to do it. She was there on leave, technically not in charge of anything.”

“I know.” There was real admiration in Garrus's voice and for some reason it made her squirm. She didn't feel like a hero over Elysium, and it followed her like a shadow. She hadn't even been aware of how much Nihlus admired her for it either. She'd just done the best she could in impossible circumstances. She wasn't a savior of anything, she had just been in the right place at the right time. And every moment of it had been horrendous.

A final clank made both of them swear and roll out from under the Mako. Nihlus sat there, looking at her while Garrus sprang to his feet, just about standing at attention, as soon as he saw her. “Shepard! I...we didn't...”

“It's all right, Officer. I was just shamelessly eavesdropping. That isn't a crime is it?”

He looked abashed and she almost felt sorry for her teasing, but his mandibles fluttered, a sure sign he was amused even though he was embarrassed for being caught speaking so plainly about her.

“I'd have to look it up, but...” he looked around as if searching for a higher authority than her or Nihlus, “since you're in command, I'd say you can do as you please.”

She crooked a grin at him. “Good to know.” She hopped off her crate and got down between them to look at the undercarriage herself. “Okay, go ahead, yell at me for my driving.”

“I would never...” Garrus began but Nihlus cut him off.

“You're a menace, Henna. Who issued you the authority to get behind the controls of _anything_?”

“Alliance Command, 18 years ago. And I've passed every test since then, I'll have you know.” She ran her hand over the divots in the axle. Yeah, she _was_ a bit hard on the Mako, she'd confess it. Still, it was a bitch of a vehicle. Who thought putting three sets of independent axles on a tank was a good idea? “I'd love to see you do better with this thing, Spectre Kryik. It handles like a shopping cart.”

Garrus guffawed. “She's...she's not wrong,” he said, in a manner that sounded like he was admitting a horrible secret. She chuckled to herself and rolled out from beneath the beast to grab a wrench that fit her hands.

“C'mon, boys, let's see what we can do with her.”

“You're a mechanic now too?” Nihlus asked, getting back down with her on the floor of the cargo bay while Garrus ran a diagnostic.

“Stripping cars of all their usable parts had its learning curve,” she said softly. She didn't talk about her time in the 10th Street Reds much and he didn't pry, but he did give her a look that was hard to read in the dimness under the vehicle. She wondered briefly how much of his own youth had been wasted doing stupid shit. She knew he was from a far flung colony, not associated closely with the Hierarchy worlds. From what she could gather, his home colony had been little better than a mining outpost. There _had_ to be some nefarious doings in his past too.

“I stand corrected, Spectre Shepard,” he said finally, equally as soft. Her whole body tingled at his tone, the subvocals rumbling from him like a purr.

“You mean you _lay_ corrected,” she quipped, deliberately making light of it so they could move on without the subject becoming too heavy.

She heard Garrus snort above them and grinned. Nihlus leaned over the last few inches between them and his eyes promised things that made her shiver.

“Maybe later.”

***

“Commander, I wanted to thank you,” Garrus said when they were done. Nihlus had already taken off for the shower, since he'd gotten a face full of lubricant oil. She and Garrus remained, cleaning up the tools and wiping their hands on rags to get the worst of the dirt off.

“What for?”

“For everything. For taking me with you, making me a part of your team.”

“I'm glad you're here, Garrus.”

He crossed his arms and gave her a speculative look. “Is it just so you could have the excuse you needed to have dextro supplies on board?”

She raised an eyebrow at him. “You mean for Nihlus? There's Tali too.”

“_Tali_ is a vegetarian.”

“That's true,” she laughed. “All right, you got me. No, in all seriousness, I'm glad you're here too. We'll need all the help we can get to take Saren down. You have resources through C-Sec that we wouldn't get any other way, and you're a hell of a good shot in a fight. Not to mention, a good mechanic,” she gestured at the Mako and the work they'd done on it.

“Are you worried the Council might be covering for him?”

Even after just saying how she appreciated his C-Sec side, she'd forgotten just how insightful he was. She cocked her head at him. “They might be. Certainly they don't want to take anything I say on faith. And I get that humans haven't been around very long in galactic policies. It's an uphill battle for us. I think the Council desires real hard proof before they make any statements. It's gotta be rough having an agent that was given full autonomy abuse it. Makes their judgment look bad. At the same time, I do wonder if they're hoping I'll fail, just so they can continue to hold my species back.”

“For what it's worth, I'm behind you, Shepard. You can count on me.”

“Good to know, Garrus. Thank you. I'll remember that when the going gets tough.”

He smiled and she said goodnight, heading back up to her quarters, mulling over his words. And hers.

And when she got into the captain's cabin, there was Nihlus, already laying on the bed and giving her a look that promised all sorts of retribution for her teasing. She grinned.

“Ready to lay corrected, Spectre?”

“Bring it on, human.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, hi. With all the numerous fics out there, I've yet to see one that includes Kaidan being a huge hockey nerd (granted, I don't read a whole lot of Kaidan-centric fics). And since *I* am a bit of a hockey nerd, I decided I would just have to be that change. Mostly it was an excuse to showcase some team building, and to establish just how long interstellar travel really takes. Mass effect relays aside, FTL travel is still subject to physics.
> 
> I will likely update this a final time for the year (and go out with a bang, pun intended), before I take my annual holiday hiatus. Just fair warning now. I'll include another note on the next chapter too. Let me know what you think of this so far, dear readers, I love feedback and I answer each comment.


	10. Trap**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does it need saying? NSFW.

“Oh, I'm just a _human_ now, am I?” Henna crossed the cabin, dropping clothes off herself as she went. By the time she reached the bed and crawled over Nihlus's prone body to straddle him, she was as completely naked as he was. She leaned in close, lacing her fingers with his and bracketing either side of his face with their joined hands. “What exactly should I 'bring on', Nih?”

He growled and she smiled. “You're _my_ human. Hmm, it is a great pity this bunk doesn't have posts.”

“A glaring oversight,” she agreed facetiously.

He pushed her up so he could run his hands up her arms to her shoulders, then down her body, his talons whispering against her skin. “I guess for now we'll have to find something else to do.”

She moved lower on his body to be more comfortable, and leaned back over him. Of course, her head barely reached his keel in this position. She ran her tongue along the space between his chest plates, tasting his clean skin. “What did you have in mind then?”

“I thought I would just lay here and take it,” he said, lifting her hips in his hands and sliding into her in one smooth motion, completely belying his words. She gasped at the abrupt penetration and tried to sit up to seat herself more fully, but he wouldn't let her. His arms wrapped around her lower back, trapping her in place as he stayed perfectly still inside her. Neither commented on the ease with which he'd slid home inside her, other than their eyes meeting in accord. Sensation built up in Henna, even in the stillness. It set off sparks deep in her abdomen, a yearning for more.

“Nihlus...”

“Is there a problem, Henna?”

“I need...need to...”

“What do you need?” he whispered, pulling her closer to him so he could run his mandibles along her hairline. His hands dropped from her back to her legs, all the way under her, where her thighs joined her butt. He held her tightly, although not painfully so, and shifted incrementally inside her, dipping in an inch at a time, so intensely slow she thought she might scream. She felt on the cusp of release and he'd barely touched her. She tightened on him and he chuckled. “What do you need?” he repeated.

“Deeper...” she panted. “I want...”

“Say it,” he demanded in a whisper and the subvocals rumbled through his chest and into hers where she lay on him. This time the clench was involuntary and she whimpered.

“I want to come...” she managed to breathe out, her face burning at the admission.

“You're free to do so anytime,” he said, his hands moving her now in time to his tiny thrusts. She tried to force him deeper, curving her spine to tilt her hips and change the angle, but didn't get very far with him holding her in place the way he was. It was like being held down, without any anxiety producing feeling of being trapped. He was strong enough to keep her where he wanted her, even with her on top. She reveled in it even as she grew impatient to come.

“I can't...get you...where...”

He chuckled again and without warning pushed into her fully. She arched back, sitting up with her head thrown towards the ceiling. She cried out at the sudden fullness and felt him throb within her. It wasn't enough and she wanted to feel him thrusting, hitting that spot so deep that she went mindless, but he wouldn't let her. He pulled her across him again, his hands laced his hers and drawn up near his head.

“I promised a tease, as I recall,” he said, almost conversationally. Only the small puffs of air between his words gave him away. She tilted her hips again, trying so hard to enclose him more completely, but in her position – stretched out across the length of his larger body – it was impossible. Her noise of complaint definitely sounded more like a whimper and she tried to control it. He heard it anyway and rumbled under her.

“You'll be the death of me.”

“Oh, I hope not. I wouldn't get to do it again if you died.” He was mockingly aghast at the suggestion and he let her go enough to impale herself fully with a groan. She rocked on him, her hands braced now on his stomach, feeling the softer skin there below his chest plates. She knew turians were sensitive there and ran her fingertips across him, feeling the dense packed muscles clench and bunch under his hide. He bucked into her and she came all at once, thrown back by the intensity, hands on his plated thighs for balance. A starburst exploded behind her eyelids and she cried out, barely keeping the sound low enough so it didn't pass from the cabin.

She collapsed onto him when the wave was over, breathless and sated. But he wasn't done yet. His hands went back under her legs, holding her motionless, holding her open. He stroked her so slowly she could feel each ridge along his length, sliding easily from their mingled arousal. It built again, astonishingly fast, blinding and urgent. She leaned up on his chest and looked into his eyes, so calm and indolent. His expression made him look as if he wasn't even interested in what he was doing to her. But then he smiled, pushing deeper into her core and she bit her lip to hold back a moan.

“You like that, don't you?” he said softly. “You like that I have complete control over you right now. I could stop entirely,” and he did, holding very still, “and make you beg to come again.”

“Is that what you want me to do? Beg?”

“I want you to concentrate on every inch,” he countered, his green eyes flashing. “Feel each tiny bit of me inside each bit of you. Filling you up, making those muscles dance for me.” He punctuated his words with small upward thrusts, never quite jolting but in such perfect control of himself that she began to unravel. She could feel her own wetness gathering at the base of his cock, slippery evidence of the power he had over her.

“God, Nih...please...harder...”

“Like this?” And he pulled her down on him, angling her so that he burrowed as deep as he could go. His hips snapped up into hers, making her bounce on him. He never let go of the back of her thighs, still holding her open on him, spread out so her nerves were stretched and pulled in ways that ordinary motion just couldn't match. With a shout she came again, each spasm harder than the last until she saw stars.

This time he sat up, keeping her wrapped tightly in his arms. Now she had the control to ride him like she wanted, driving herself to the edge again, but taking him with her. She braced her hands on his shoulders, feeling the rasp of his plates on her skin. She was going to pay for this tryst in more ways than one. But it was so worth it. So, so...

“Jesus...” she breathed, clamping down on him a final time as another quick climax hit her. He groaned and captured her mouth with his as he followed her, thrusting up into her so hard it hovered at the edge of pain.

Afterwards she was a boneless heap next to him in the double bed, her legs aching, her arms tired. He was cleaning her up with a bit of washcloth, soothing lotion into her chafed skin from their exertions. And she realized with a shock that she was falling for him. Falling for his charm and devastating sexuality. His dichotomy of rough and gentle. His intelligence and fairness. His calm assurance that she could whatever it was she set out to do. His faith in her. His confidence in himself. She was suddenly quite sure she didn't want this to end.

He got up from the bed when he was done putting her to rights, deliciously nude, and went to the table where she hadn't even noticed he'd put some water bottles. He brought one back to her, the cap already loosened. “What's on your mind, Henna? You slipped away from me.”

She gazed at him, wondering if she could possibly put into words what she felt. No, it was too soon. Too terrifying. She smiled and ducked away from the question. “My mind is a pretty empty place after that.”

“Then my job is done,” he joked, getting under the covers and pulling them over her. They couldn't precisely cuddle since he was all bony plates and sharp angles, but he lay on his side next to her, his hand spanning across her chest on her heartbeat, fingers wrapped loosely around the curve of her breast. “Get some sleep. You need it.”

“Yeah, I do.” She rolled over to face him, her skin still burning but her body so satiated she couldn't bring herself to care. She laid her hand along his jaw, tracing the edges of his mandible. His hand had stayed on her as she rolled, and now was spread across a shoulder blade. “G'night, Nihlus.”

The mandible flared under her hand and he turned his head to press a kiss into her palm. “Good night, Henna.”

***

“Alenko! Get on that turret! Vakarian, the cannon,” she cried, swerving around in a tight curve to avoid a blast of thresher maw acid. In the copilot's chair, Nihlus held tight to the frame, eyeing her askance.

“Now I see how you get _rocks_ caught in the axles. You realize, I hope, that thresher maw acid will do more...”

“Not now, Kryik!” she snapped, keeping her focus on the tentacle headed thing bearing down on them. “Yell at me later.”

Edolus was a mustard yellow world, constantly barraged by meteors in the distance through a sky too choked with clouds to even see the stars above. The light show would have been nice, but with the sky so dreary it was barely more than a background distraction. She hit the boosters, jumping the Mako into the air, unable to maneuver the vehicle out of the blast zone fast enough any other way. They thumped back to earth hard enough to make everyone grunt at the impact and then she floored it, racing the creature around the bowl of the valley where the distress beacon was still blaring its signal in her ear.

“Shit, incoming!” she shouted, trying to outrace another gout of acid. Most of it missed, but the sudden blaring alarm on the dashboard told her some of it had eaten through the Mako's armor. Nothing vital, but the shielding couldn't take much more before things got really dangerous. “Vakarian, that thing better be _riddled_ with missile holes when we're through.”

“Yes, ma'am,” Garrus replied, his head stuck up in the bubble of the cannon. Alenko was silently keeping up a steady barrage from the machine gun turret as best he could with her erratic driving. Not to mention, the creature sporadically dove underground, trying to erupt underneath them to swallow them whole. The dumb fucker didn't seem to realize that a Mako was too much of a mouthful.

Something crunched as another impact hit them and she kept her foot on the gas, steering the six wheels in as straight a line as possible, dodging the spray of acid and clods of dirt and rocks thrown up by the monster. She turned another curve, bringing the beast into their front view and the Mako shuddered as Garrus fired the cannon again. There was an earsplitting shriek as the thresher maw took the missile right in the gullet, then it collapsed, finally dead. Henna limped the tank on five tires over to the beacon and the sprawled bodies they could see on the ground, listening to the metal creak and hiss now that it was over.

She stared out at the plain around them, taking note of the details before suiting up to go outside. Nihlus sat beside her, equally as deep in thought. “It feels staged,” she said finally.

“Yes,” he agreed.

“It was a trap.”

“Set by whom? And why?”

She rubbed her face, her muscles already aching from the harrowing drive. “No idea.”

“Ugh, there's _goo_ back here,” Alenko announced as he got down from the machine gun turret.

“Well flush it out,” Henna said, clamping her helmet to her hardsuit before they opened up the back to go out. The automated decontamination suite seemed to be malfunctioning – _that's what the acid hit_, she thought – so the Lieutenant had to override it manually to get the pumps filtering out the acid stench and the sludge that had seeped through the armor plating. Once that was done, the four of them set foot on the surface.

Aside from the noise of the distress beacon it was quieter than she expected, as though whatever else lived on this rock had probably gone into hiding as soon as the thresher maw came up out of the ground. Still... “Turians, keep watch. Alenko, deal with that beacon, would you? It's driving me crazy. I'm going to see if there's any intel left to collect.”

Garrus and Nihlus kept a weather eye on their backs and she saw Alenko open his omni-tool to hack the beacon and shut it down. There was little else to find, however. The bodies that remained were either charred or melted from acid. She only found three sets of intact dog tags, but they matched Kahoku's missing Marines. The beacon suddenly cut off inside her helmet and she rolled her neck and shoulders, grateful for the absence.

“Who did this?” Alenko asked.

“I don't know, Lieutenant. But this sure was a set up.”

“Reminds me of...”

“The stories out of Akuze...yeah.” She scuffed her foot in the soot of the slagged vehicle that had carried the doomed Marines to this desolate place, trying to see the registration number to record on her omni-tool. “You know anyone who was there?”

“No. Did you?”

“Yeah, I knew a lot of them.” She stared off into the distance, wondering how many outlying worlds harbored thresher maws and whether or not it was coincidence that whole platoons were being lost to them. “The Admiral isn't going to be happy someone used his crew as target practice. Or whatever this was.”

“No, ma'am. We should probably tell him in person.”

She sighed. A trip directly back to the Citadel wasn't on her agenda, but Alenko was right. Kahoku deserved to hear her say it to his face. “Yeah.”

They finished up and got back into the Mako to wait for Joker to pick them up. There were no words between them; there was nothing to say. At least she still got to see her ship come in like an avenging angel over the horizon. It was more than these poor bastards had gotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blessings and joy heaped upon each and every one as the old year passes. I'll be back to this fic in January.


	11. Favors

The Citadel Tower was as lovely as always, but Henna couldn't help but feel a sense of dread stepping off the elevator, Liara and Tali at her side. It wasn't that she expected any violence to suddenly erupt among the cherry blossoms, or whatever they were in asari equivalent, but she couldn't shake the sense that eyes were on her.

“This place is amazing,” Tali said, her voice awed and rapt as she looked around. “There is so much space! And it's so quiet, not like a space station at all.”

“And to think, this structure is merely the smallest part of the Citadel,” Liara said, equally as overwhelmed. Henna drew a breath, not the first deliberately forced one she'd taken since leaving Nihlus on the Normandy.

Of course, Rear Admiral Mikhailovich might have had something to do with her unease too. She should have known Alliance brass would keep her on her toes with a surprise inspection. Not even Spectre clearance could keep him off the ship, not with it technically being Alliance property. The best she could do was swear him to secrecy about her 'guest'. He didn't like that any more than he liked her having four sorts of aliens on board. She stood firm and let him berate her, but didn't respond other than to refer him to Captain Anderson and Admiral Hackett. She might still be Commander Shepard of the Systems Alliance Fifth Fleet, but she was also Spectre Shepard of the Citadel. He had no real power to influence her decisions when it came to her crew.

Now the impressive sights of the Citadel Tower served as a backdrop to her being just a soldier taking some friends on a tour. And that was fine with her for whatever eyes were watching. Surely if Saren had any spies on her, he would already know that Tali and Liara were with her anyhow. She let them wander, looking at the trees and into fountains, cooing over the keepers and giggling in hushed tones over the grandeur of the place while she sought out Admiral Kahoku.

“Commander...pardon, _Spectre_,” he said when he saw her. “Any news?”

“Yes,sir, and none of it good.” She handed him the dog tags she'd found on Edolus and a datapad with all the information she'd gathered at the scene. “I'm sorry, Admiral.”

“Dammit. All of them?”

“I'm afraid so. It was a thresher maw. And it wasn't an accident. They were lured there by the distress beacon, right on top of the nest.”

“Much like Akuze...” he murmured. She wondered just how many of the top brass had the same thought she did about the coincidence of that.

“I wish I had better news for you, sir.”

“Thank you for doing what you did, Shepard. If nothing else, it will give closure to their families to know their fate. I hate this part.”

“Anything else I can do to help, sir?”

“No thank you. This was enough. You have your own mission to deal with, don't you?”

She saluted him smartly and watched him walk off. Tali and Liara joined her at the railing overlooking a rock garden when they were done with their oohing and ahhing.

“What now, Shepard?” Tali asked.

“I thought we might do a little shopping,” she said, pushing back her feeling of disquiet in favor of a bright smile. “We could use more dextro supplies for you. And I know of a nice little cafe right by the financial district I'd like to stop in.”

“Along with a nice little financial advisor you'd like to visit?” Liara interjected with quiet perception. Henna gave her half a smile, forgetting for a moment just how young the asari was when she showed off how much she'd learned in their meld.

“Perhaps.”

***

The cafe sat directly across from the tidy, unobtrusive branch office Barla Von did business in. She sat where she could see the walkway to his door, and saw when he left to come to the cafe. His short stumpy strides brought him to their table in a seemingly random way and they greeted each other as business acquaintances, nothing more.

“Ahh, Earth-clan. Are you enjoying your visit today?”

“I am. You work in finances, don't you? I was thinking of stopping by your office in about an hour or so. My friend here wants to make some business arrangements.” She gestured at Tali, who tried to look appropriately interested through her body language. Facial expression was equally as impossible with the volus, but she still felt like the banking agent was thinking fast.

“I would be happy to help your friend. For a fee, of course.” His gasping voice was strained, setting off more alarms in her head. Things were looking risky on the heart of the galactic government.

“Of course.” No more free rides, but that's what she expected from him. They both knew the transaction they were going to make had nothing to do with credits.

“Enjoy your lunch, Earth-clan.”

“I will.”

He waddled off, going about his concerns before stumping back to his office some time later. If there were eyes watching, none would suspect anything more than a quick conversation. She didn't think it would fly; Saren knew Barla Von was an agent of the Shadow Broker. And he'd been far too nervous to boot. But to the casual observer, it wasn't entirely out of place. The facade just had to last long enough to get what she needed.

***

“It is dangerous to be seen together, Earth-clan,” he said as soon as she and the ladies stepped inside and the door closed behind them, their bags around them. They'd found plenty of dextro groceries for Tali and some new armor for Liara, as well as nicely modded pistol. Just in case.

“And why would that be, vol-clan?” she asked softly.

The volus rocked from foot to foot, more visibly nervous now that they were away from prying eyes. “Questions have answers, answers that come at a price.”

“Saren's been watching you, hasn't he?”

“I cannot answer that,” he said with a wag of his whole body instead of just his head. _He's not nervous, he's afraid_, she realized.

“Cannot or will not?” She leaned over his counter. “Barla, what the hell is going on here?”

The door to the office swung open behind them and the volus straightened up, a datapad in hand. “If you'll come this way, clan-less...” He gestured to Tali, who didn't even seem to register the epithet as two barefaced turians entered the office, assault rifles prominently displayed in their hands. Barla Von raised his gasping voice in a purely professional tone. “I will be with you in a moment.”

A subtle nudge from Henna sent Tali following the financial agent, and she and Liara trailed behind, as if by fortuitous happenstance rather than design. She had to hand it to the asari maiden, she ad-libbed well. They entered a smaller room, one stocked well with file cabinets of the right height for a volus, as well as a locked down console and a pressurized atmospheric bubble containing a cot, a small table and a shower unit.

“We have little time,” he gasped quietly, tapping out a message as he spoke. His suit claws danced over the datapad, changing whatever missive he'd been sending to some new information. “Take this, do not thank me for it. The Shadow Broker is nervous and information does not flow as productively as it should. Get out of here. Don't come see me again.”

“Barla...are you safe?”

“Safe enough.” Barla cocked his head and Henna heard raised voices in the other room. The two turians were arguing with someone, someone who sounded krogan. _His message_, she thought. _He was calling for backup_. “I have protection, but I think it might be time for me to make a visit home, if you take my meaning.”

“I do. You say I shouldn't thank you, but may I make a donation to help fund your trip?”

“It is not necessary, Shepard. I prefer to deal in favors, not credits.”

“Then I owe you one.”

“Yes, you do.” Barla stepped back into the main room of his office as if they were concluding their affairs and Henna took the hint.

“Let's go ladies, the sooner we get back to the ship, the better.”

A massive krogan stood just inside the door and the turians were gone. The krogan's eyes followed them out, but he never spoke. There was no sign of the pair of turians either as she chose a discreetly unmarked skycar to take them back to the docking bay, but she didn't relax until they were inside the airlock, the Citadel locked out behind them.

***

“_Keelah_, what is going on, Shepard?” Tali asked as soon as they were back in the Normandy. They dropped off her groceries at the galley and went back up to the CIC and the conference room. Nihlus was coming out of the Captain's cabin as they passed. Henna waved him over to join them as they went up the curved stairs.

“Been shopping?” he asked.

“For more than I bargained for, apparently.” She handed him the datapad, waiting until they were secure in the conference room before she spoke again. “We should get the others in here too. Joker?” she patched into the comms.

“Yes, Commander?”

“Could you tell the rest of the squad to join me and Spectre Kryik in the conference room?”

“Aye aye.”

Nihlus's eyes were stark and wide when he looked back at her. “This information...”

“Yeah...”

The rest of the ground team crew filed into the conference room, each of them wondering what was going on. Garrus took the datapad as Nihlus handed it off to him. “See anything that stands out, Officer?”

“Spirits...” Garrus said under his breath.

“Someone care to explain?” Wrex said. Henna stood at the head of the oval, leaning against the console for calling the Council.

“I stopped in to see a...friend today. He gave me this.” She nodded at the datapad making its way around the room. “Change of plans. We're heading straight to Noveria. Our lead has been eliminated, but there is still business to attend to there.”

“What do you mean, ma'am?” Williams asked.

“'The Binary Helix hot labs on Peak 15 suffered a catastrophic containment breach and was neutron purged',” Alenko read from the pad. He looked up at Henna. “How was that a lead?”

“Saren is a majority shareholder in Binary Helix,” Nihlus said. “Geth activity had been reported on the planet, although no calls for help had been issued. Noveria is...less than forthcoming with some of their laboratory practices, and prefer to deal with things in house rather than call on any galactic assistance.”

“Keep reading, Lieutenant,” Henna said.

“'Before the purge, an asari Matriarch and a retinue of commandos was logged in at security before heading to Peak 15. Shortly after, a blizzard struck the hemisphere, blocking any exit from the labs'.” Henna looked at Liara, knowing what Alenko was going to read next. “'Port Hanshan authorities released a local statement saying that all non-essential crew were evacuated from the Binary Helix labs, but the Matriarch was unaccounted for'.”

“Mother...” Liara gasped. “Shepard...”

Henna nodded. “I want to get underway as soon as we can get clearance from Citadel Control. Hopefully there will still be evidence at the scene when we get there.”

“You think she's dead, don't you?” the maiden asked, her bottom lip stubbornly quivering despite her attempts to stop it.

“I think it's probable. Liara...I know you were estranged, and if she is dead, I'm very sorry for your loss. But we need to be sure. She's our best link to Saren.”

“Does the Council know about this?” Garrus asked suddenly.

Henna and Nihlus exchanged a glance. “I don't know,” she answered. “This intel comes through the Shadow Broker, so it's unlikely at this point. We might finally catch a break if we can get there before any Citadel peacekeepers. I wish I could have given you all a little shore leave, but we need to move on this before it becomes public knowledge.” There were various noises of agreement around the room and she nodded, satisfied. “All right, get prepped. Dismissed.”

She waited until they had all left and it was just her and Nihlus alone in the room. “We need to be careful, Henna. Normally, we would have to report directly to Port Hanshan and get authorization to head up there, but...”

“Yeah, I don't really want to let anyone know we were there until we're gone.”

“How will we do it?”

“Use the Normandy's stealth drive, and drop in the Mako as close as possible. Weather conditions seem to be holding the same, blizzards and avalanche warnings. No one will risk following us.”

“Are you sure about that?”

She gave him a sideways smirk. “Do you think I'm wrong?”

He thought it over before finally shaking his head. “No. I don't. Honestly, no one would expect _any_one to go up there after a purge anyway. Loose neutrons will still be racing through there.” He shook his head, looking thoughtful. “At least anything in a half klick radius will already be dead.”

“Which means any visitors other than ourselves will stand out like a sore thumb.” She made a fist with her thumb sticking up, showing him before he could ask. “I just hope we aren't too late to find anything useful.”

“I agree. Is there any intel on what they were doing up there?”

“There might be. I didn't get a chance to go through all the data. We were being watched on the Citadel. I could feel eyes on me everywhere, and two turians with no clan markings actually came into Barla Von's office while we were there.” She shook her head. “I didn't linger.”

“What did he ask for this?” Nihlus waved the datapad.

“A favor in kind.”

“Risky.”

“Necessary. He wouldn't take creds. And you know how the Shadow Broker is.”

“I do.” He leaned back against the railing next to her, still idly scrolling through the datapad. “Let me work on this, see if there are any other encrypted files we might find useful. And I hope you're planning on taking me along.”

“I am. I want you at my six on this. Something doesn't sit right.”

“Too easy?”

“Too _something_.” She heaved a sigh. “I won't rest until we're at the bottom of this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, to one and all!


	12. Peaceful

The wind howled around Peak 15, a steady scream that overwhelmed their suit comms. Henna directed Nihlus, Garrus and Liara through hand motions, getting them from the Mako, now carefully parked under a convenient icy overhang, to the entrance to the labs. Once inside, the silence was as deafening as the wind had been and they took a moment to just adjust and warm up from the brief exposure. Both Nihlus and Garrus turned up their hardsuits' heaters and she suppressed a smile.

“Have I mentioned that turians hate the cold, Shepard?” Garrus had asked when they dropped out of the Normandy into the blinding storm, relying on satellite positioning to get them to the ground safely. Nihlus had grunted an agreement but said nothing.

Now they appeared to be in a hangar of some kind, strewn liberally with crates and...bodies. “Geth,” she said, cracking her helmet once the pressure had equalized. The air inside was still rather frigid, but measurably warmer compared to outside.

“These weren't caught in the purge,” Nihlus said, tipping one over to look at its carapace. He showed her the wide open holes and oozing internal conductive fluid, milky pale and gelatinous in the cold. But still flowing. This was recent.

“Someone had a firefight,” she murmured. “Today.”

“Yes, but who?”

Henna looked around, trying to find any sign of combatants. There were none, not even Port Hanshan personnel or the stray lab scientist who couldn't get out of the way fast enough. “I don't like this,” she said.

“You think someone else came through, don't you? Someone who isn't Port Hanshan personnel.”

“And they're still here. Look at that ooze. It isn't frozen. Hell, even in my hardsuit I feel frozen.”

“Joker didn't report any life signs.”

“As much as I love my pilot, I'm not sure I trust his instruments in this weather. The storm could be interfering, or it could be being jammed. We'd never even know.”

“True.” Nihlus unholstered his shotgun and saw the others do the same with a grim nod. He checked to make sure everything was ready on his weapon and met her eyes. “Better to be ready than surprised.”

“Liara,” Henna called out. “Keep to the rear. If we get ambushed, I don't want you panicking.”

“I can handle myself, Commander.” The asari sounded faintly insulted.

“I'm sure you can, but still...”

“You can watch _our_ sixes,” Garrus said, his voice intent and quiet. Calm. The C-Sec officer was with them, his hot headed side barricaded behind strict professionalism. Henna nodded. She and Nihlus exchanged another quick look and she led them up the ice rimed stairs to the airlocked interior of the lab.

***

The snow blew in steadily from a shattered portion of the ceiling in the commissary and the group halted, keeping their backs together like cornered animals. Henna spared a thought that it was interesting how many species had that instinctual need to pack bond. She focused back on their surroundings. Nothing could be heard over the wind, and nothing moved. However, evidence of fighting was still all around them.

“More geth,” Garrus said.

“Yes, and something else,” Henna added, seeing the reddish bulk of something lying on its side at the top of the stairs. They approached cautiously, taking their time, watching for anything further out of place than a peaceful cafeteria now obliterated by storm and battle alike.

The creature looked like a cross between a crustacean and an insect and Henna fought back a wave of deeply rooted revulsion. “What _is_ it?”

Liara scanned the dead thing with her omni-tool, and faced Henna and the others with a very worried look in her eye. “It's a rachni.”

“Impossible,” Nihlus spat.

“Clearly not,” Henna said. “What were they doing here?” She faced her partner, her expression probably as stricken as his. “What was Saren up to?”

“And how did it get out of hand to the point of needing a neutron purge?” he finished the thought for her. “Let's keep moving. I don't want to stay here longer than we have to.”

The elevators were working, but it seemed like the lab had no other power flowing through it. They arrived at the Peak 15 Central Station to find everything shut down except the emergency lighting. The VI was offline and there were more rachni bodies strewn about, laid out in a row as if caught in the purge trying to escape. Between them they found three different types.

“If what I remember from my schooling days is true,” Nihlus said, “we have workers, warriors and hatchlings here.” He gave Henna a dark look, his mandibles working.

“That means there's a queen somewhere, right?” she asked darkly.

“More than likely.”

“All right, we need to get the tram up and running again, get to the hot labs themselves, make sure there aren't any surprises going to jump out at us from the dark.”

***

In Rift Station they found irrefutable signs of fighting between the rachni and human staff. Bodies were everywhere, some torn apart, some melted in a way that reminded Henna of thresher maw acid, some riddled with bullets from what was probably friendly fire in a panic. Most of the rachni appeared to have died in the purge; very few showed signs of injury, although it was hard to tell with the way they'd fallen.

There were terminals built into the walls and offices where desks and chairs lay overturned, their datapads and papers thrown all over. “Let's see if we can find any footage or clues of what happened here,” Henna said, assigning each of them to a different part of the area.

The Mira VI had been no help, so she wasn't expecting much. With the power cut off, all the Noveria security protocols were to delete everything. She hoped there would be a hard copy log somewhere. She got lucky.

“Guys?” she called, holding up the datapad of one of the scientists, a Han Olar.

“What did you find?”

“Personal logs,” she said, scrolling through the entries that were mostly routine work. “Looks like they were working on some contract from the krogan. Something to do with the genophage.” She scrolled through more, stopping when she saw Saren's name. “Huh, a year ago, the work changed suddenly. Listen to this. 'Spectre Arterius arrived today, bearing the cargo from his derelict salvage. It was just an egg. No one thought much of it. Some of the guys down in the lab were put on testing it for viability, and the rest of us were told to start uploading all our data of the genophage project to a secure extranet address for his Virmire lab. With the Spectre around, no one is inclined to ask too many questions'.”

“Spirits,” Nihlus breathed. Henna spared him a glance and went back to the datapad.

“Next entry is a few weeks later. 'The egg hatched and everything appears to be progressing as planned. I don't know where he found an intact rachni egg and I don't want to. Word just came down from the lab. It's a queen'.” She skimmed through the next set, mostly innocuous stuff regarding the final push to upload their genophage data before they concentrated on the rachni. “Okay, here we go. 'The queen successfully clutched and the teams took the eggs to a secure facility in the hot labs. We weren't told anything else'. Next entry is a few more days after that. Jesus, do they really breed that fast or did they do something to enhance it? 'Eggs hatched, but the larvae are unstable. Spectre Arterius was on site and ordered the whole batch incinerated. Told us to try again'.”

“Why would Saren be breeding rachni?” Garrus wondered aloud.

“They would make a formidable army, if they could be controlled,” Liara said softly.

“Here,” Henna said, finding another entry. “'New clutch hatched by queen, then taken for study. These specimens are much more stable, although relatively intractable. Bola and Egan sent up a complaint about hearing voices in the hot labs, but the security team didn't find anything. Next team that went down there didn't come back. The Spectre left, said he was sending someone to oversee the project from here on out. A Matriarch. Hopefully she can get this mess sorted out'.”

“Mother...” Liara said quietly.

“This is the final entry. 'The bugs got out of containment. The Matriarch's commandos sealed the hot labs and we heard the countdown start for the purge. They cut the power from Rift Station back to Central Station, trying to contain the breach. We're stuck here, waiting. I can hear the rachni in the ventilation system. I hope somebody finds this, even if only to exonerate those of us who were just doing our jobs. We didn't know what would happen. We didn't mean it. I wish I'd never started working here. I don't want to die'.” Henna let the datapad sag in her hands. “That's it.”

“Nothing about where the Matriarch was in all this?” Garrus asked.

“No.”

“Then we keep looking,” Nihlus said. He looked over the bodies in the room, his face a mask of closed off emotion. “We need to find a keycard to get that direct elevator to the hot labs working.”

“Grisly work,” Henna said, knowing he was right, “but let's get on it.”

***

“Are you holding up all right?” Henna asked Liara as the elevator plummeted down into the glacier where the hot labs were.

“Yes,” the young asari said. “Shepard, whatever else we find here, I'm glad you let me come along. I need...”

“To know. Have closure. I hope we can find you some.”

Liara pressed her fingers into Henna's hand and squeezed once. “Thank you.”

The elevator deposited them into the shambles of the hot labs. Asari commandos lay scattered across consoles and crates, bearing many of the same types of wounds they'd seen on the scientists. The rachni had gotten to them. Rachni bodies littered the space too, more effectively fought off by trained asari than human security teams. To one side, a clear tube ran along the side, slid open halfway through. And there, slumped to the ground against the wall, was the Matriarch.

“Mother!” Liara cried, rushing forward to see. The rest of them took up defensive positions, not trusting the quiet and stillness of the lab. Someone had been down here, but they'd seen no one, had no resistance. Henna didn't trust that to last. “She's gone,” Liara said mournfully.

“The rachni or...?”

“I...I don't know...I can't...I can't tell....” The maiden's voice was broken and gulping, as if she was holding back sobs. “Oh, Mother, I'm so very sorry...”

“Shepard, this is probably where they had the queen. But obviously she's not here now.” Nihlus was looking at the terminal controls. “Someone let her out.”

“Benezia?”

“Most likely. She didn't get very far away from the console if she did. I wonder where the queen is now.”

“Shepard,” Liara called, drawing Henna's attention to her. “She has something in her hand.”

The asari seemed reluctant to touch her mother's body, and Henna knelt beside her, comforting her before she reached and pried open the Matriarch's fingers. An OSD slipped out, still warm. Henna clamped down on the urge to say it aloud. The Matriarch had been alive not too long before they arrived. The rachni escape and purge was a week ago. She caught Nihlus's gaze and gave a sharp nod. _Expect trouble_, she tried to say with her eyes. He took in the set of her face and tightened his grip on his shotgun. She saw Garrus do the same.

“Liara,” she said, still kneeling at the maiden's side. “I think we're about to have company. Take your mother's body and hide. Stay out of the fight. I don't know what we're up against here.”

“That would be smart, Commander Shepard, but it's a little too late.” They all turned to face this new speaker, a man in a tightly helmeted hardsuit, no insignia to distinguish him, the faceplate dark. The only thing Henna could tell about him what that he was human. Several others stood at his side, their weapons drawn and ready. More were exiting the other elevator, outnumbering them two to one.

“Who are you?”

“No one you need to concern yourself with. Now hand over that OSD.”

“I don't think so,” she replied, slowly standing up and bringing out her rifle. “I'm gonna ask you again. Who are you?”

“I wouldn't worry about it, Commander. You won't be alive long enough for it to matter.” And he opened fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suspense is hard, y'all. I hope I did all right with it. If nothing else, I'm super pleased with how I twisted this mission around.
> 
> Let me know what you think of it.


	13. Barrage

Henna dove for cover, launching herself away from both Liara and Benezia's body to draw the fire of the assailants. She felt a sharp impact in her shoulder and more scattered across her chestplate as she slid behind a crate already draped with the graceful body of a commando. She hissed as the pain set in. Most of the shots had gone wide, skittering off her armor, but at least one had punctured. She could feel the sticky warm of blood oozing in the ball of her shoulder.

“Fuck, that's gonna be a problem,” she muttered.

“Shepard, you good?” she heard Nihlus call from the other side of the lab. They were exchanging heavy fire with the unknown group, and conversation wasn't going to be easy to have. Throw any chance of formulated battle plan _right_ out the window.

“I'm all right,” she called back, hitting her Medi-gel. A cool spread of the gel soothed the pain and made it numb, although she knew Dr. Chakwas was going to have some words for her about continuing a fight with a bullet in her. _No time, doc_, she thought.

She leaned over the crate's top, her view partially blocked by the dead asari and let off a few rounds from her rifle into the mass of armored men. They returned fire and she ducked back down, splinters from the crate spraying her faceplate. Her cover wasn't going to last very long.

She was looking for another spot when she heard Liara's screech and saw a blue ball of biotic energy cross the lab. She risked a peak around the edge of her crate and saw a handful of the intruders stumble, their control and aim totally disrupted by the Throw. She loosed a volley of bullets at them from her rifle and saw at least two go down, never to stand. Another went down with a shattered faceplate. Garrus and his trusty sniper rifle.

“Fire in the hole!” Nihlus cried and she ducked back into her scant cover with a snort of laughter. She knew full well that was _not_ what he said, it was just what her translator put into her ear. He threw an incendiary grenade into the group, throwing them off their feet and setting a few of them on fire. They began to spread out into the lab, making use of the cover as she as her squad were. She couldn't hear any orders passing between them and figured they must be using an encrypted commlink. She put her helmet back on and found a channel of her own, hoping – but not in a position to care – it was secure.

“Nih, we need a plan,” she said. She risked a hasty scuttle from her cover down the side stairs to a more fortified spot, taking on a pair of men who'd had the same idea. Her rifle made short work of them. She pushed aside another fallen commando and ducked into the space she'd been filling.

His reply, when it came, was breathless and aggravated. “More and more of them keep coming down here. We need to cut off that elevator.”

“Yeah, but that won't help us get out of here ourselves afterwards. That elevator goes right to the station platform.”

“Got any better ideas?” he snapped. She heard his shotgun go off in rapid fire before it overheated and he had to take a break. She couldn't see him from her position, but she knew he must be close by. The lab wasn't all that big, after all.

“Garrus?” she pinged.

“What?” he snarled. “Sorry Commander.”

“Ideas. Got any?”

“We need to funnel them together, pick them off as a group. They're too spread out.”

“Liara,” she called next, taking the asari's hum as acknowledgment. “Keep up the light show. Try to make them bunch up together.”

“Understood, Shepard.”

A blast of biotics sped across the lab, buffeting the men on the edges into each other. Nihlus shot into them blind, his shotgun taking down at least one of them in the first foray. Henna edged out from her cover to see where they were and switched out her rifle for her pistol. She thumbed through the cartridges in her supplies and decided incendiary would work. The pistol had greater accuracy and didn't overheat as quickly. She concentrated her fire on the stragglers too, trying to herd them back together.

“Nih, how many grenades have you got on you?”

“Four.”

“All right, keep them ready. Once they're grouped together, hit'em with all you got.”

“Got it.”

The attackers were getting wise, seeing that they were being deliberately herded. The one in command – the one who'd spoken – was directing them now to spread out again. Henna aimed at him and her shot seemed to hit him, but there was no burst of flame.

“Shit, the leader's got a kinetic shield.”

“Of course he does,” Garrus muttered in her ear. He lapsed into words her translator couldn't parse, although she heard Nihlus laugh, short and barking. With his next shot, Garrus managed to get through the shields on the leader, hitting him in the head, although the man didn't drop. Henna heard swearing now and cracked a smile of her own which turned rapidly to a grimace as the Medi-gel was burned up by her adrenaline. Her shoulder was aching and her aim was beginning to suffer.

Liara had been keeping up a steady barrage of biotic attacks, and the attackers were focusing on her now, trying to put her down. With a cry, she fell back behind cover, and Henna knew someone had gotten off a lucky shot. Maybe too lucky.

“Liara? Tell me you're there!”

“I'm...here...Shepard...”

“Are you hit?”

“...Yeah...”

“Okay, stay down. We got this.” She hit her Medi-gel again and took a deep breath. “C'mon boys, let's show'em how it's done.”

She stood up from her cover and rushed the remaining men, Garrus and Nihlus on her heels. In a burst of energy and surrounded by a sudden blue glow, the three of them mowed the remaining assailants down in a flurry of bullets and Nihlus's grenades. She barely felt the impacts in her armor across her chest, arms and legs but she knew she was in trouble when she started to get woozy once it was quiet again.

“Nih...?”

“Henna!” she heard him cry. She had just enough time to see him racing for her, his face fearful, and then the world sort of swirled around her and went dark.

***

She heard voices first, too loud but strangely muffled, as if they were in another room.

“We _have_ to follow this lead. If we let Saren slip away from us again...”

“I don't care what you think you have. I've got a dead asari Matriarch in my freezer, along with the bodies of ten humans of unidentified origin, all with high powered, highly sophisticated weapons that are not Alliance issue. The Commander was shot _sixteen times_, through her armor and the barrier Liara was able to throw around you at the last second. Liara herself took a shot that pierced her spinal column, and only narrowly avoided paralysis or death because of the stasis field I have her in. We _have_ to return to the Citadel, Spectre Kryik. I do _not_ have the facilities here to deal with this!”

_That's Doctor Chakwas_, she thought, her brain fuzzy and disjointed, like a bowl of jelly that had been shaken and tossed around. _She's _yelling_ at him_.

“I'm sorry you'll have to stay on board, Spectre, I am. But if we do not go back where there are proper medical facilities, they could both die.”

“All right,” Nihlus said, his subvocals too low for her to discern. “I'll give Joker the order.” She tried to lift her head and groaned. She felt like she was on fire, but cold.

“Doctor? She's waking up,” another voice said, much closer and thrumming with an emotion she couldn't place. _Garrus?_

A door cycled open and shut again. Light footfalls approached and as soon as she opened her eyes – with much greater effort than should have been necessary – Henna saw Chakwas leaning over her in the Medbay, her face serene and professional as if she hadn't possibly been dressing down a full grown turian Spectre a moment ago.

“How are you feeling, Shepard?”

“Nngg...ugh...”

“Sounds about right. Just keep breathing for me,” she said with a small, tight smile. “We're on our way to the Citadel to get you and Dr. T'Soni patched up.”

“Who...what...happened?”

She saw Nihlus looming over the doctor, shadowing her. “It was Cerberus, Henna. They're...”

“They're a terrorist organization,” Chakwas clipped. “No more now. I need to get her back under. She'll be much more comfortable if she's unconscious for the jump.”

“...OSD...” she managed to gasp out before Chakwas could do more than load her IV with the necessary tranquilizers.

Nihlus took her hand, although she couldn't really feel it. “I have it. It's safe. Sleep now. When you wake you'll be better.”

She tried to grip his fingers but found her body wouldn't follow her commands. She couldn't even feel her legs or lift her head. They must have all seen the rising panic in her eyes and took up positions around her where she could see them.

“Relax, Commander, I have you nerve blocked from the neck down,” Chakwas said soothingly. “You're full of holes, and you've lost a lot of blood. Rest easy now, you aren't dying if I can help it.” She cast a dark look over her shoulder at Nihlus. “You're going to be fine. You just need to rest. That's it,” she added, seeing Henna fade back into the bliss of sleep. “Don't fight it.”

“I'll stay with her, Nihlus. Get some sleep, you're about to fall over yourself,” she heard Garrus say before the world went completely dark and silent again. She didn't hear his response.

***

Bright artificial sunlight poured into the tidy hospital room when Henna opened her eyes again. Everything hurt. It was worse than her ICT training. She took as deep a breath as she could, trying to see if she could pinpoint any of the various aches and burning pains, but she couldn't. A machine beeped and something flowed into her veins, forcing the pain back until it was a dull presence pressing on her rather than a raging inferno.

She tipped her head to the side, glad she could at least do that, and the first thing she saw was C-Sec blue and black. Garrus sat slumped in a chair, his chin buried in his cowl, his eyes closed. He looked different without his visor on. Casting a glance down to his lap, she saw it in his hands, loosely gripped so it wouldn't fall to the floor.

“Garrus...?” she tried to call to him. It came out as nothing more than a breathy whisper, but his head shot up and his eyes were on her before she had finished saying his name. His mandibles dipped in a smile and he slipped the visor back over his left eye, becoming the turian she was used to seeing once more.

“Hello, Commander. Good to see you in the land of the living again. That's the right expression, isn't it?”

She smiled to let him know he had it right. “How long?”

He waved his hand back and forth, a casual imitation of a human gesture that would have made her laugh in any other circumstance. If he was trying to make her more comfortable by doing his best human impression, she was absurdly grateful for it. Then his words registered. “Four days or so. I've been sending regular reports back to the ship every few hours. Guess you caught me slacking.”

“You hadn't slept in four days?” she asked incredulously.

He smiled again. “I caught a few hours here and there when it was obvious you weren't going to wake up. They've had you in an induced coma for most of it. They weaned you off the meds late last night.”

“Was it that bad?” she whispered.

His face grew serious. “Yeah. Yeah it was.”

“Fuck...”

“You're all right now, Commander,” he hurried to assure her. “You've been responding well to the regenerator.”

“Nihlus?”

“On the Normandy. I've talked to him several times. He's been deciphering the OSD with Tali's help. He thinks he knows what Saren wanted with the rachni. Liara was right about an army, for sale to the highest bidder. But he wants to go to Virmire first.”

“Why?”

“Saren has a lab there. You remember? That log you found mentioned it. Research notes were uploaded to that facility. Nihlus thinks there might be more clues there, too.”

“The Queen...?”

“Nihlus was able to tap into the security logs at Port Hanshan. Apparently the Matriarch's shuttle disappeared sometime after we left the area. No one saw it, or admits to seeing it, go. No idea where it's headed.”

“So there's...a loose...rachni out there...somewhere.”

“Yeah,” he replied, his face solemn. “We'll catch up to her sooner or later. Nihlus has it in hand.”

“Feel...suddenly useless...”

He scooted closer, daring to take her hand in his and wrapping his talons around her fingers to give them a squeeze. The pressure felt good, and his hand was warm. “You had us worried, I'll admit. But it's been kinda good to see you aren't superhuman after all. You should get some more rest,” he added, as if suddenly realizing the impropriety of his words and his touch. He let her hand go and stood up. “I'm going to call the Normandy and update them all. I'll be back in a little while.”

“Eat something while you're at it,” she murmured. “No sense half the crew falling down on the job.”

He flared a grin at her. “Yes, ma'am.”


	14. Easy

It was boring in the hospital, watching the asari and salarian doctors and nurses rushing by, laying around in bed with nothing to pass the time, eating horribly bland food that made military MRE's appealing. At least the food was filling. She understood the need. Medical grade regenerators used a lot of the body's energy to make new tissues and blood and those calories had to be replaced before she went into a starvation spiral. She idly wondered if this was what it felt like to be biotic and always hungry. She made a mental note to ask Alenko when she saw him next.

Once Garrus had left her to make his update, she'd asked the nurse in charge of her care for a rundown of her injuries and was shocked at how many there had been. Collapsed lung, perforated intestine, myriad flesh wounds, nicked artery in her arm, crack in her femur... She understood now why Chakwas had yelled at Nihlus about coming back to the Citadel. As state of the art as the Medbay was, it was for triage, not major restorative surgery across several bodily systems. It was frightening how close she'd come to death.

In a fleet, a frigate like the Normandy would have docked with a carrier in order to provide the same services she was now recovering from. But on their own, there was no chance to do more than stabilize and hope for the best. In her suddenly vast amount of free time, she began to think about how to upgrade the Medbay for better care. It was a fairly sure bet that injury like this was likely to happen again. And quite possibly much farther away from help.

“Commander,” a voice said from the door. A familiar, welcome voice. She turned her head to see Anderson standing there, a lovely vase of flowers in his hand.

“Captain.”

“Permission to enter.”

“Granted.” She huffed a laugh. “Do you really need it?”

“Well, you're not technically under my command anymore, Shepard, so I guess I do.” He placed the flowers near the bed where she could see them. “You had us worried.”

“So I'm told.”

“I've spoken to Nihlus. He said it was Cerberus?”

“I guess. I don't really remember anything after...”

“I suppose that's fair. What did they want?”

“Probably the same thing we did. Intel.”

“Most likely. Cerberus has long been at odds with the Alliance, and the Council. Bioterrorism, experimentation, you name it, they've done it. All in the name of advancing human interest in a galaxy too full of other races for their liking.”

“Captain...Saren was breeding rachni on Noveria.”

“That's what Nihlus said.” He sat down heavily in the same chair Garrus had been in, pulling it close to her bed so they could speak softly. “I don't know what the Council knows as of yet. With you wounded, there's no one in charge to make a report...unless you're willing to let him give away his secret.”

“No, I'm not. We can't afford to let Saren get wind of it. In fact, we should stop talking about him now.”

“Even here?” he raised an eyebrow at her, meeting her deadly serious expression.

“Even here. The Citadel has ears everywhere. If you think Saren doesn't know I nearly died on Noveria, where I wasn't supposed to be in the first place...”

“About that. How _did_ you even know?”

“A helpful tip from a friend in banking.”

Anderson gave a nod of comprehension with a wry smile on his face. He stared into space for a moment before focusing back on her. “He's closed his office, you know. Disappeared.” He leaned forward in the chair, bracing his arms on his knees. “Shepard...this has gotten far more complicated that I ever dreamed it would.”

“I know.”

“I'm concerned about how this will all play out.”

“I am too, but you know I have to stop him. We can't let him unleash a force capable of eradicating whole civilizations on the galaxy. You know that.”

He sighed. “Yes, I do. Do you think he's doing it willingly?”

“You think he isn't?”

“Your report from Feros mentioned something called indoctrination? That the ship is...alive, and uses some kind of mind control?”

“That's what Shiala told us. I have no reason to doubt her honesty, since we melded and I could see it in her head. Dark spots where she had no memory of her actions or words. Whole spans of time that she can't account for. And a willingness to blindly follow Benezia's lead behind Saren.” Henna shook her head, fighting to understand it. “It makes more sense if Saren is being controlled. I've heard lots of rumors to the effect that he'd changed, become erratic and unhinged. I don't know what he was like before all this, but it sounds like he was a respected Spectre, ruthless, yes, but respected. Now he's just a...a villain. Almost like he's straight out of a vid.”

“He always hated humans. Blamed us for his brother's death.” He waved it away. “Old history. If what he's planning happens, it won't just be humans sent to the slaughter.”

“No, it won't. Ya know, in all the races alive today, there are no histories that go back further than the Protheans, and that was only fifty thousand years ago. Even on Earth we had a pretty detailed timeline of fossil record going back for millions. Liara said something when she was first on board. About how she found repeated cycles of extinction in the galaxy in her research over the years, that the Protheans stood on the ruins on a civilization before theirs, a society we don't even have a name for.”

“You think that's what these Reapers do, isn't it? Wipe out all intelligent life over and over in a cycle.”

“It's logical.”

“Why do they do it?”

“Who knows? That's the mystery, isn't it?” She shrugged, feeling a pull in her body as she did. “I don't really care _why_ they do it, I just want to stop it from happening again.”

“Once you're out of here, Shepard, follow the clues. Stop him. I don't care what it takes.”

“No, neither do I. Any idea how long I'll be locked up here?”

“Another few days, at least. You have a lot of recovery to do.”

“Yeah. Hmm, I don't like letting him get that far ahead of us.”

“One step at a time, Shepard.” He stood to leave, his face drawn and almost haggard by the knowledge that what they were up against was of galactic proportions. “You rest now, get better. Get stronger. And then you stop him.”

“Yes, sir.”

***

It was in the night cycle of the station when she woke again. Her room was dark, the windows covered and the lights off. But that wasn't what woke her. A presence was next to her bed and when she turned her head, for a moment she had a fright, thinking the Grim Reaper had come for her.

The figure tucked back the hood covering their face and she saw a flash of white colony markings. “Nih? How the hell...?”

“Shh.” He took her hand in his. “I had to see you.”

“You big idiot. Anyone could have seen you,” she hissed.

She saw the shadow of his mandibles flare in a grin. “I snuck in. And I'm in disguise.”

“Really? A cloak is a disguise? This isn't some back alley in the Wards. This is the Presidium ring.” He knelt down next to her, still grinning like a fool, his fingers twined with hers. She sighed and sank back against her pillow. “You idiot.”

“Are you really so upset to see me?” he asked.

“No. I've missed your ridiculously gorgeous face.” She smiled at him in the dark. He leaned forward and touched their foreheads together. “How are things on the ship?”

“Well enough. Impatient to get moving again.”

“Hopefully I'll get out of here in a few days. Anderson stopped in to see me today.”

“Yes, I talked to him already.”

“Virmire, huh?”

“Yes. That should be our next step. I don't want to say too much about anything else though.”

“Yeah, the walls have ears as well as eyes.” She pulled her hand out of his and swatted his keel, then ran her palm over his jaw, cupping his mandible. “Dammit, I'm happy to see you, even if it was a big risk.”

“I was...worried about you.”

“That's nice to hear.” A swell of insistent affection filled her. _Dammit, I'm really a goner now_, she thought. “You shouldn't stay. I don't know when the next round of nurses starts. I don't even know what time it is now.”

He sighed and slid away from her tenuous touch on his face. “You're right, I know. But it was worth the risk. The sooner you get better, the sooner we can leave.”

“I'm working on it,” she replied, somewhat wryly. She saw the hood of the cloak dip as he nodded. Then he swooped back in and kissed her, his tongue sweeping across her bottom lip. She hummed, hungry for more despite the condition of her poor battered body.

“Nih...” she whispered when he pulled back enough to rest his forehead against hers.

“I watched you get shot many, many times, Jehanne. Come back to me, I need to bury myself inside you and feel how alive you are.” The low rumble of his subvocals made her breath catch and all she could to was nod stupidly at him. He kissed her again, sweetly enough that her eyes slipped closed. In a flash, he was gone.

_Goddammit, I love that turian_.

***

“The commanding officer is aboard,” the computerized voice of the ship announced as she crossed the threshold of the airlock. “XO Pressly stands relieved.”

Joker turned his head to peer over his shoulder at her. “Welcome back, Commander.”

“Thanks,” she said, heavily leaning on Garrus as he helped her walk. All the doctors had wanted her to use a wheelchair to return to the Normandy, but she refused. If anyone was watching and reporting her condition to Saren, she needed to appear to be recovered from her injuries. Garrus had 'escorted' her from Huerta Memorial to the docking bay, only physically holding her up once they'd entered the elevator and she could give up the pretense.

“Yes, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas drawled, coming down the central corridor of the deck, “welcome back. And right into my Medbay, if you please.”

She smiled. “Knew I wasn't gonna get off that easy.”

“No, you weren't,” Chakwas agreed.

Nihlus met them halfway there, and took up Garrus's slack so that they were basically carrying her down the steps from the CIC to the crew deck and the Medbay. “This is embarrassing, guys,” she muttered.

“Would you prefer to be carried like a sack of tubers?” Nihlus inquired.

“It's potatoes,” she retorted. “And no, I wouldn't. There are much more romantic ways to be carried.”

Garrus snorted and let go of her as soon as they reached the Medbay door. “I'll be catching up on my sleep,” he said.

“You do that, Officer,” Nihlus said, a vibrant thread of warmth lacing his subvocals. “Thank you for keeping her safe, Garrus.”

Something unspoken passed between the two turians, then Garrus nodded and went to the elevator and the cargo bay, where his cot was tucked out of the way by the Mako. Meanwhile, Nihlus helped her to a bed and lifted her legs up for her so she was settled.

“I thought he was too young for you,” she teased.

“Don't start. Between the two of us, that poor boy's head is spinning.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked at her frankly, his eyes were sparkling with suppressed humor. “Turians are well known for idolizing their superior officers.”

“Oh really? Do the superiors ever idolize back?”

“Only on special occasions,” he whispered, leaning in towards her and placing a kiss on her forehead. “Get some rest, Henna. Dr. Chakwas managed to get a small regenerator installed to finish up your healing. I'll see you in the morning.”

“Are we getting underway now?”

“No time to waste, so yes.”

“All right. You can fill me in later.”

“Oh, I will.” He grinned at her, lascivious intent dripping from every pore. She shook her head and smiled, watching him walk away.

“Turians,” she muttered.

“If you're quite finished flirting, Commander...?” Chakwas asked drily, approaching with the portable regenerator.

“For now,” she replied with a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With my Fluff-uary challenge project coming up, this will be the last update for this fic until March.


	15. Messages

Henna teetered across the Medbay to the back room Liara kept herself in. She was feeling much better...although that was relative. _Shot sixteen times_, she thought. _I should be dead._ The asari was starting into space seated at her console, the OSD blinking in front of her.

“You all right?” Henna asked as she came through the door.

“Oh, Commander. Please, sit.” Liara stood and offered her chair, giving Henna a discreet helping hand to lower herself comfortably. Henna was both pleased and irritated to see that the young asari seemed fully healed from her own injuries. “I was just...”

“Liara. Are you all right?”

The young woman closed her eyes and sighed before she nodded. “Yes, Shepard. My mother...she...she left a messages for us. For you. For me.”

“I see. It's okay, I don't need to see it right this second.” She saw Liara visibly relax that she didn't want to see them now. “Was there anything else we _do_ need to see on the disc?”

“Yes, coordinates to the Mu Relay.”

Henna sat stunned for a moment, letting the words sink in. “I thought that was lost.”

“It was. I think..._we_ think that is why Saren wanted the rachni queen. The queens inherited the knowledge of their mothers. It's what made them so powerful. They were able to direct their troops with detailed knowledge of their enemies from generation to generation.” Liara twisted her fingers together much like Tali did. “Knowledge of the relay's location after the supernova blew it out of position would be known to them. That was their region of the galaxy.”

“You're a wonder, you know that?”

The maiden looked shocked. “What do you mean?”

“You've studied so many things, know so much...why aren't you working on tenure at some university? Is it just because you like being in the field?”

“No...” Liara hemmed and hawed. She finally sighed and pulled over the other chair kept in the storage area. She sat facing Henna, her face crinkled with...worry? “No, it isn't just that. I _do_ like being in the field, but...well...”

“Go on, spit it out, I don't bite.”

“Many of my theories are unpopular. Most of the universities on Thessia were not interested in Prothean studies. Or already had professors with far more experience than I. They think I'm too young.” She shrugged. “Being a pureblood doesn't help.”

“Pureblood?”

“You know that asari are mono-gendered, right?” Henna nodded. “Since forming the galactic community centuries ago, and discovering that we can reproduce with any other species, being of pure asari heritage is considered old fashioned and rather...well...pointless. Any offspring produced in a union will carry traits from both parents, although we all look asari. It is considered a way to broaden our diversity as a species and is more socially desirable.”

“I think I understand. Among humans, if someone has parents who are too closely related, it's frowned upon. Aside from the social stigma, there's hereditary problems from the lack of genetic diversity to be considered. I guess I hadn't considered what kind of societal pressures would grow from a species capable of reproducing with any other race.”

“There is quite a stigma attached to being pureblooded, although no asari would ever be so vulgar as to say it aloud to my face. Still...professionally speaking...”

“It's like a backdrop to any achievement you make.”

“Yes.”

“That's awful.” Henna shook her head. It never ceased to amaze and sadden her how much the concept of bigotry transcended species. “Well, I don't know if it counts for anything, but _we_ appreciate you.”

“Thank you, Shepard.” She blushed prettily. “You know, Spectre Kryik said something similar when I was first on board.”

“Did he?”

“He...he knows my...I guess you would say father, although we have no real cultural significance to the title. My other parent. I have no memories of her. She and my mother parted ways when I was very young. But it sounds like she kept in touch enough to...”

“Keep tabs on you as you grew up?” Henna offered when Liara faltered.

“I suppose. With my mother gone now...I wonder if I should try to find her. Let her know.”

“If you want to, we can try. How you feel about it?”

“I feel...strange. I am my mother's only child. And she had me quite late in her matron stage. My upbringing was unusual since she began her time as a matriarch and mentor when I was still too little to leave home. I didn't see her much. Before we went to Noveria, you said something. You said that you knew we were estranged, but we had to know if she had lived. We were not estranged at all, not like other races would define it. Asari live so long and experience so much...sometimes we just drift away from family and friends for years, even decades, at a time. I always thought we would drift back to each other...that we would have time...”

Henna took her hand, and held it while the young woman cried. “I'm so sorry for your loss, Liara.”

“I didn't even...get through all the messages on the OSD,” she gasped out between heaving sobs. “I just couldn't. There's only one left and I know...I just know it's...”

“It's all right. You don't need to see how it happened. Your grief is very raw right now. Time will blunt its edges.”

“Will it?” Liara asked, her face streaked with tears. Henna wiped them away and gave her a smile.

“It will. Take it from an orphan. It will. For now, just let it out. That's the best thing you can do.”

“Thank you, Shepard. For everything.”

“You're welcome.”

***

Henna plugged the OSD into the dock connected to her private terminal in the cabin and let it load. Nihlus was with Garrus, working on something or other, while the rest of the squad was getting ready for their approach to Virmire. Dr. Chakwas hadn't yet cleared her for full active duty, and she ended up spending far too much time on her own lately, trying to strategize in her head. Going through Benezia's messages would hopefully provide either distraction or insight.

The image of the first video message formed and cleared, showing a strikingly attractive woman with dark serious eyes, her head covered in something like a cap or hood. She looked tired and careworn, perhaps a bit ragged at the edges. She had prominent bones and a regal bearing that gave evidence to her age. Liara bore little resemblance to her mother, Henna noted.

“I was able to withstand the neutron purge,” Benezia said, “by use of a powerful barrier around me. It was very draining, but I secured myself and the queen within it and watched the multitudes die around us. I do not honestly believe I will escape this prison of a lab alive, but before I expire, I must put down my thoughts and warnings for any who finds this.”

She paused, looking over her shoulder at something behind her. When she focused back on the recording unit of her omni-tool, Henna was able to catch a glimpse of the rachni queen in her tubular cage. “Saren thought he could find the Mu Relay through her, and so he did. Breeding her as a way to sell mercenary armies was greed on his part. I was able to join my mind to hers, and take the information. I was...not kind. I have no excuse for it, other than what Sovereign has done to us all.” She sighed. “I suppose I should explain.

“Sovereign is the ship, a Reaper. Saren found it nearly twenty years ago, alone and sleeping at the edges of the known galaxy. It is...alive. Its voice creeps into my mind even now, whispering that I should not tell these secrets, that I should take them with me to whatever awaits me in death. But I am strong. I will fight off this voice, and make a record of these final days to tell you – whoever you are – of what you face.

“Saren is searching for the Conduit, a weapon or device that will enable him to allow the other Reapers access to the galaxy. The only clue we had was that it was through the Mu Relay. You must follow him...if there is still time. He must not be allowed to...to...”

The image cut off, but Henna caught the briefest flash of biotic glow around Benezia's head before the message ended. There was a pause between the messages, and the next one began with a view of the empty rachni cage.

“I have released her from her prison, as surely as I am trapped in mine. She does not deserve to die here with her children. She is alone in a hostile universe. I wish her the luck of the goddess, and the strength to overcome the indoctrination as I have not. I told her where my shuttle is, docked at Port Hanshan. If she can get away, she can be free. It is a pity I cannot escape with her, but the frigid temperatures of this place do not bother her as they would surely kill me.” The image shifted, bringing Benezia's face into view again. “I do not have much time. Even now I can feel Sovereign's fingers in my mind, stripping my will. Beyond the relay is a world. I do not know where or how far. But on that world lies the Conduit. Saren is surely already searching for it. You must stop him.”

The message ended and Henna sat, waiting for the next one to begin. It began with unclear images and blurry motion as Benezia appeared to pacing back and forth in the confines of the lab. She was muttering under her breath, occasionally raving and crying out. She sounded like she was fighting with herself or some unseen enemy. Henna didn't think the Matriarch had meant to record this battle with a voice no one else could hear.

“Get out, get out, get out, get out...” It dissolved into a flurry of haphazard images before a new message began.

“It has grown very quiet and dark down here. It is cold. I am surrounded by death and I know that my own is coming soon. There is no escaping it, nor do I deserve to after what I have done.” Her eyes focused suddenly on the recorder and she appeared to be looking directly at Henna from across miles and dimensions. “Little Wing, hear my words. You make me so proud. You have forged a path of your own choosing, and it is bright, my daughter...so bright. I will see you on another day, in another place. I promise it. You are my shining joy, my most brilliant star. My little wing...” There was sorrow on her face, tempered abruptly with something like steel. “Liara. Find Aethyta. She was on Ilium, the last I knew. She can help you...give you some answers and perhaps peace.”

The image faded and stopped and Henna drew a breath, seeing two video files remaining. She waited. The next message was much more straightforward and almost desperate. Benezia must have known her time was running short.

“If you are the human who trails behind Saren's every step, if you are Commander Shepard, be cautious. Be ready. Saren is a formidable fighter, as you might expect. He served in a biotic cabal in his youth before becoming a Spectre. He knows no rules, is bound by no faith or belief that will sway him from his course. He is bound only to Sovereign now. I did not tell him all I knew. All I heard.

“I know that Nihlus Kryik did not die of his injuries. I knew that you had become a Spectre in the wake of the Council's removal of Saren from their ranks. I do not know how you have managed to keep him a secret, but do not rely upon their long years together to save him a second time. Saren will honor no vows, no promises, no love that had ever been between them. Shepard...he is wholly a creature of the Reapers now, a slave in mind and body. Sovereign has changed him, enhanced him. He will stop at nothing to see the Reaper's will become manifest. You will be forced to kill him. I hope you are ready.”

The final message began with a jumble of images as Benezia started the recorder on her omni-tool surreptitiously. At first the voices were muffled and indistinct, but grew clearer soon enough. Henna recognized one of them.

“Tell us where the rachni is,” the male Cerberus officer demanded.

“She is gone,” Benezia said. “You will not prevail here.”

There was a barrage of gunshots and Benezia could be heard crying out in pain. “Maybe not, but neither will you, you blue bitch. Gather samples from those carcasses,” he continued to his troops, “spread out, find that damned bug. The Illusive Man is getting impatient.”

The imager was facing the floor as the Cerberus troops filed out – now Henna knew why they hadn't been there in the lab when they arrived – but turned as Benezia tilted it towards her face. “I'm sorry...Little Wing...” she gasped, and the image cut out.

***

“Now we know why Cerberus was there,” Nihlus mused later, after Henna had showed him the video messages. “It changes nothing, however. Our priority must be stopping Saren.”

“Yes. Time enough to chase down this Cerberus once we save the galaxy,” Henna said, only slightly sardonically. She waited to see if he was going to react to the message regarding himself, but he didn't appear to have anything to say about it.

“Will you be ready for Virmire, Henna?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He uncrossed his arms and turned to her. “You need some more rest. Let's get you in bed.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, a challenge. He grinned but didn't do more than press his forehead to hers and tuck her into the bunk, wrapping himself around her, his talons on her heartbeat. She lay there awake, worried, anxious and still in some pain from her healing injuries. She turned to him, seeing his eyes still on her.

“Liara told me you knew her father. Is that...?”

“What you thought you were seeing between us?” he finished, his subvocals soft and rumbling. “Yes. Matriarch Aethyta is a bartender in Nos Astra. I've known her many years. Liara was only three when she and Benezia ended their union.”

“Why didn't she try to find her?”

“Benezia apparently wanted it that way. The dissolution was bitter. Aethyta ended up forming a contact with the Shadow Broker to keep track of her daughter. Which is how we met.”

“Your own contacts?”

“Yes. Not to mention many of my assignments took me to Ilium, as it is a powerful part of the asari empire.”

“How the hell does an asari Matriarch become a bartender?”

Nihlus chuckled under his breath and leaned in to kiss their foreheads together. “You'd have to ask her that. Now go to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dammit, Bioware, let Liara grieve.
> 
> And I'm back from hiatus on this project. I make no promises on a more regular updating schedule, but I'll try not to let it be more than a month at a time.


	16. Alive**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May I offer you some important plot smut in these trying times? Oh, and also some regular plot.

Henna woke slowly, feeling rested and warm tucked into a cozy heap of blankets and turian. She opened her eyes and looked into Nihlus's sleeping face, marveling at the sight. She couldn't remember seeing him sleep before this. His mandibles were slack, his brow plates relaxed. He looked years younger without the cynical expression he almost always wore. She traced the lines of his colony markings with a light finger, her skin barely whispering on his plates. It was enough to wake him and his green eyes met hers in the dimness of the cabin.

“Hi,” she whispered.

“Hello.”

“You know,” she said lightly, still tracing his markings, “you promised me something not too long ago. Something about knowing I was still alive.”

He leaned across her, his bulk neatly fitting against her with the ease of practice. “I did,” he replied. He dipped his head to press their foreheads together before slanting his hard mouth plates across her lips. “I wanted you to be more healed.”

“I'm healed enough,” she whispered. “I _need_ you.”

His mandibles flared and he held her wrists in his grip, raising her arms over her head, making her arch her chest into his keel. She wrapped her legs around his small waist, feeling the muscles there shift against her thighs. She murmured appreciative sounds as his mouth moved down her jaw and throat, his tongue flicking against her skin. His mandibles tickled her collarbones, making her giggle and squirm and the gleam in his eye took on a new aspect when he looked at her. She felt his groin plates move.

“I nearly lost you,” he said, suddenly serious. “It would have destroyed me.”

Her breath caught. It was one thing for her to know she was in love with him, but she never expected he might feel the same way. “I'm just a human,” she whispered as she remembered to exhale.

“No, you're not _just_ a human. You're strong and focused, you're smart and driven.” His length bumped her where their hips were joined. She hissed with pleasure as he began to slowly rub himself against her, not quite hitting her where she needed it, but close enough to drive her slowly to distraction. “You're remarkable, Henna. And you're _mine_.”

With little warning other than that growl of possession, he tipped his hips into hers, sliding between the folds of her and into her heat. Her hisses turned to a gasp as he filled her. It wasn't perfect and she had to wiggle around a little to get him seated just right, but it was good. It was so good. Like a homecoming. She hadn't realized just how much she'd missed his touch until that moment. How much she craved it, needed it like food or air.

“Nih...”

“Hmm?” He lazily stroked himself inside her, easing the way with each penetration until she burned for more, for the slap of their flesh together. She hitched her legs up higher around his waist and lifted into each small thrust, groaning when he dipped deep, her empty hands grasping on nothing where he still held them pinned.

“Please, I need...more...”

“I don't want to hurt you.”

“You aren't.”

He pressed deeper still, bottoming out and making them both moan. He pulsed lightly within her, almost but not quite hitting her G-spot. She wanted to struggle to free her hands, to pull him where she needed him and he chuckled, the earthy sound filling her ears and blocking out everything else. “What's the matter, Henna? What can I do for you?”

“You can fuck me properly,” she pouted, gasping anew when he changed his angle, pulling their bodies and hitting her square in the center. For a moment she couldn't think, could barely breathe. He had said he was going to fill her in, and he did. Oh, he did.

“I like what this is doing to you,” he mused, still stroking slowly and gently, letting it build to an unbearable peak. He seemed to revel in her gasping sounds, in the power play between them. She finally succeeded in freeing on hand, and wrapped it around his head, her fingers finding the soft spots between plates under his fringe. He closed his eyes and rolled into the touch like a cat, surging inside her with a stronger thrust. She had to bite her lip to keep from crying out aloud. “That was a dirty trick,” he panted.

“I know. You love it.”

“I do,” he said and let her guide his head towards her, meeting her kiss. He let go of her other hand, cupping her face, holding himself off her enough that she could still breathe. She was reduced to sensation, merged into one giant nerve that sang at his touch. She was nearly cresting the peak and her body was trembling from it.

“Nih...”

“Yes, Henna?” he whispered into her skin, licking a path down her neck and across what curve of her breasts he could reach.

“Please...now...I need....”

He tucked his arms under her back, lifting her bodily off the bunk, sitting back on his haunches so she was spread out like a feast. Her legs stayed around his waist, clamped by his elbows as he pumped into her more strongly, nudging her ever closer to completion. With a stifled cry she tipped over the edge, a frisson running down her spine from her skull, spreading out to her limbs as she gasped for breath. The ridges of his cock hit her with aftershocks on each plunge he took now that she'd come so hard and she felt like she would burst into flame. With a groan he buried himself as deep as he could go, and she felt the flood of his climax fill her in pulses.

They relaxed by degrees and he cradled her in his arms once their bodies were separated, brushing her hair back from her face. He seemed fascinated by the red strands, loose and flowing around his finger. She watched him as he played with it, not bothering to hide how much it amused her. Before long she could hear noise from outside the cabin and realized the day roster had already begun.

Nihlus sighed and let her go and she ignored the pang in her chest of the moment being broken. Duty called. It always did.

***

“Commander,” Joker said into her comm as she studied a datapad on Virmire, Nihlus by her side, “you have a message from Admiral Hackett.”

“Patch it through.”

There was a crackle of static as Joker switched the comm line, then the Admiral came on. “Commander, I understand you recently found the remains of Admiral Kahoku's men on Edolus, is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“He took it upon himself to follow up and has dropped out of communication. I'm not asking you to step away from any Spectre business you might be attending to, but I thought I'd pass it along.”

“Are there any leads to where he might be, sir?”

“A few. I'm sending you what little information we have. Commander, it looks like that terrorist group may be involved.”

“You mean Cerberus?”

“Yes.”

“I'll look into it, sir.”

“I appreciate it, Commander. Good luck.”

The comm went silent and Henna looked over to see Nihlus watching her, his face carefully neutral. They'd had some words about how she operated still under the aegis of the Alliance, even though she was now a Spectre. She pointed out that as long as they were using the top secret stealth ship the Alliance had provided, they would do well to keep on the good side of the top brass. He didn't necessarily agree, but he didn't gainsay her when she took on missions for Hackett.

This one, however, was one she'd been working on longer than she'd been with the Council. He knew it was important to her.

“Are we putting off Virmire, then?”

“Let me look at this information. If it's on the way, we can check it out. If not, we'll still head out to Virmire first. I know you want to catch Saren before he leaves another trail of clues and not himself.”

Nihlus nodded. “Fair enough.”

***

Henna stood at the galaxy map, looking over her options. Obviously they wanted to get to Virmire as soon as they could, but what little information Admiral Kahoku had gathered on the terrorists pointed to Binthu, in the Yangtze system of the Voyager Cluster. They were going that way. The relay that would eventually lead them to Virmire was only connected through the cluster. She was torn, she admitted it. Following Saren's trail was definitely important, and as a Council Spectre, she knew she should make him a priority. But solving this mystery for the Alliance wasn't actually going out of their way, and it would help set her mind at ease after her nearly fatal encounter with Cerberus on Noveria. She made the call, ordering Joker to take them to the cluster. From there, the Yangtze system was only a single day by FTL, and Binthu floated serenely in its orbit around the star.

“Mako drop?” Nihlus asked as they approached the deceptively green planet. There was no breathable atmosphere and the rain that fell steadily across vast portions of the world was toxically acidic.

“Yes,” she replied.

“Who else are we taking?”

“I want Garrus's sniper's eyes and Wrex's muscle for this one.”

“I'll meet you in the cargo hold.”

Henna had Joker hold the Normandy in stealth mode and made sure their comm lines were secure before joining her team in the Mako. Wrex hummed something under his breath, the lightness in his step making her smile. Leave it to a krogan to anticipate the prospect of bloody death so happily.

The drop landed them in a small valley and she let Nihlus pull up their radar as she navigated the terrain. The first base was easily reached and easily dealt with. It seemed Cerberus had not been expecting company and she grinned to see her handpicked squad take down snipers and commandos. More disturbing were the creepers. They were too reminiscent of the Thorian thralls from Feros.

“What the hell is wrong with people?” she muttered, wiping creeper vomit from her faceplate.

“You humans are as bad as the salarians,” Wrex answered darkly, although he didn't seem overly upset, merely pointing out a fact.

“Not all humans, Wrex,” she said. “This sort of thing is not condoned by Systems Alliance.”

The krogan grunted in response and went back to killing the things as they rushed out from the corners and shadows. Henna let it go, keeping her focus on clearing the research facility and gathering up what data remained. It seemed there was a failsafe that wiped the system clean before they had a chance to download any information. It was fast and silent, giving her the impression that an overseer was watching them every moment. It was unsettling.

The next facility held more horrors. A rachni soldier, held in containment. At her quick nod, Nihlus released the creature, using its instinctive drive to attack to their advantage before they took the rachni down themselves. Garrus took a blast of acid and they had to stop to patch him up before their last stop. He wasn't badly hurt, but his hardsuit's ceramic plating would need replacing once they were back on the Normandy. Once again, whatever data held in the consoles was gone before they could download it.

The final building held Kahoku's body. She sighed, not looking forward to having to report this to Hackett. Rachni workers toddled around him, ignoring them completely until they made a move to gather up the body. Once they were dead, Nihlus scanned them, a worried look on his face.

“Shepard, these all bear the same genetic code. They're cloned.”

“Cerberus was after the queen at Noveria, weren't they? How much you want to bet they were hoping to breed their own army instead of having to clone them from tissue samples.”

“I'd have to say that's a fair assessment.” He looked around, as if piecing together a puzzle. “There has to be another installation somewhere. Not on this planet, perhaps, but probably within the cluster, to be close to the relay.”

“The main base?” He nodded, his white markings flashing in the low light of the research facility.

“There's no marks on him from the rachni,” Garrus said, standing up from his examination of Kahoku. “I did find an injection site on his neck, however.”

“They executed him before he could talk,” Wrex commented. “Tactical.”

“Which means he knew something. I wonder if they thought the rachni workers would eat him, destroy all the evidence. Is there anything on his omni-tool?” Henna asked. Garrus checked and looked back to her, triumphant.

“Nepheron, Columbia system.”

“Well, that was exceedingly sloppy of them,” she grinned. “Let's go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe and sane out there, dear readers. Wash your hands, keep a weather eye on your mental health and be kind to each other.


	17. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY! I haven't forgotten about this fic. Sorry about the gap, but ya know, the world went crazy. And my DA fic ate my life. Hope y'all are staying safe and sane.

“Uh, Commander?” Joker broke in to her comm as they hurtled toward Virmire. “You have an encrypted message coming through.”

“Do you recognize the encryption?”

“No.”

“Hmm, that doesn't seem shady at all,” she murmured.

The base on Nepheron had been about as hard as the rest of them involved in this mission. That is to say, not at all. Well, they _had_ sneaked in unannounced and the forces in place had been token protection for the science teams. It made her wonder what kind of organizational tiers the nefarious group had. It was obviously not their only installation, and while there was a chain of command in place, there didn't seem to be a protocol for backup.

At least this time they'd finally managed to download information from the main database before it could be wiped. She had no doubt that whoever was reaching out to her now knew what she had. She didn't think the Alliance would use unfamiliar encryption when they already knew she was on the case.

“Patch it through, Joker, but be ready to cut the line off if there's even a hint of hacking.”

“Aye aye.”

“This is Shepard,” she said when the line connected after a series of staticky bursts that made her think the signal was being constantly rerouted.

“Greetings Commander, I represent an interested party on behalf of the Cerberus information you received at Nepheron. We would like to obtain what you found.”

“What makes you think I will make a deal with someone unwilling to talk on an open channel?”

“Relax, Commander. Allow me to introduce myself, at least enough for these purposes. I represent the Shadow Broker.”

Henna took a steadying breath. She knew, of course, that the Shadow Broker dipped into communications on a wide range, and she hadn't forgotten her debt to Barla Von. But she was mildly suspicious of dealing with someone new. Especially considering how far out of range she was from any media broadcasting. That meant she'd been tapped somehow. She wished Nihlus was with her; he'd know how to handle this. But he was down in the cargo bay with Garrus and Wrex, fixing the Mako after another the beating it had taken on Nepheron.

“No deal. I have one contact with the Shadow Broker, and that's enough for me.”

“That's unfortunate, Commander. This party is willing to pay a substantial amount for this information, now that Admiral Kahoku is dead.”

“How do you already know that? I've made no report.” There was silence on the other end, and she wondered if this contact was trying to figure out a way to say that she wasn't being followed, when now she knew for a fact that she was. Or maybe he'd been guessing and she just gave it away. Ugh, subterfuge was hard and she didn't care for it a bit. “Listen, I said I already have a contact with the Shadow Broker. You put me in touch with him, and maybe we can deal. Otherwise, this information goes straight to the Alliance.”

“I will pass that along, Commander.” The channel went dead and no amount of backtracking it with Joker turned up any results. She tried to put it out of her mind and got back to focusing on Virmire. She'd give Barla one more solar day before she called Hackett and turned over what she found. She'd find some way to pay back her debt to him if that happened.

***

It was the middle of the night cycle, and the Normandy had dropped out of FTL to dump their heat build up, when her omni-tool pinged, waking her. Nihlus shifted next to her but didn't rouse as she got out of bed to answer the call.

“Greetings, Commander,” Barla Von said, his gasping voice sounding too loud in the silence of her cabin.

“I'm not going to ask how you got my private channel, Barla, but I will say it's good to hear your voice. I assume this is regarding my information?”

“You would be correct. That was a good ploy, keeping the information safe from an unknown element. I'm appreciative you have such trust in me.”

“I just hope it isn't misplaced.”

“Certainly not, Commander. I am aware you have no love for this kind of intrigue.”

She huffed a laugh. “As long as you're aware too, that I still have to make a formal report to the Alliance.”

“I am aware. I am sending you a dead drop link, Commander. Once I have received your package, I will consider your debt paid in full.” The call ended abruptly, but a glowing light told her another message had come through, from a different extranet address. The dead drop. She loaded the data they'd collected at Nepheron into an archival attachment and sent it before she could start to doubt herself, then sent the same information to Hackett on an Alliance secure channel. She washed her hands of it, and whatever they both did with the information would no longer be her concern. She hoped.

She headed back to the bunk and saw Nihlus had woken and was sitting up, watching her. “Anything you want to tell me?”

“Just housekeeping. A favor for a favor. Now it's done.”

He nodded, and wrapped his arm around her when she slid next to him. She felt his eyes on her as she tried to settle back to sleep, and met them with her own. He smiled at her gently, accepting that she had to do things her own way. Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep.

***

Virmire was tropical and warm and Henna inhaled the humid air with a sense of satisfaction. They'd been on too many planets with no breathable atmosphere to skip enjoying one that had one, even if it was tainted by salt spray and dead fish. That being said, she wasn't thrilled about pulling up to the gate in the Mako and seeing her ship grounded. She jumped down with Nihlus and Wrex at her side, Garrus keeping a watch on their six as always, and strode across the sand, seeing the rest of the squad grouped together at the edge of the water. A group of salarians were there, keeping watch on them.

“Spectre Kryik, reports of your death seem to be exaggerated.”

“Shit,” Nihlus swore under his breath. Henna raised an eyebrow at him, looking between him and the salarian who'd spoken. “Commander Shepard, this is Captain Kirrahe, salarian Special Tasks Group. We've had...dealings before.”

“You're the chatter we heard inbound?” she inquired of the Captain.

“We sent a request to the Council not long ago, asking for reinforcements. As you can see, we're blockaded here.” He gestured to the AA tower in the distance. His beachfront camp looked well lived in at this point.

“I don't know what message got through to the Council, but we're here on a mission of our own. If Saren Arterius is here, consider us your backup.”

“He's the reason for the blockade. Whatever he's doing here, he doesn't want anyone to find out about it.” Kirrahe shook his head. “Your team isn't going to be enough, Commander. Although having two Spectres here changes things.”

“What do you mean?” Nihlus asked.

“We've gotten reports that Arterius is on site. STG intel suggests that he was accused of killing you, and was stripped of his rank for it. Any truth to that?”

“Some. He was stripped of rank for conspiring with the _geth_.”

“Hmm, well, I advise you against storming the gate with brute force. That tower has so far taken down everything we've thrown at it. And if he suspects you're here, he may look to avenging a grudge. There have been geth dropships from time to time. The lab is overrun with them. We can't get close anymore.”

“Saren may know that _we're_ here, but he doesn't know Nihlus is with us,” Henna said. “The Council still thinks he's dead.”

Kirrahe nodded, as if that made perfect sense. “Secret weapon, eh? Well, maybe it will turn the tide. My forces are stretched pretty thin, and we haven't gotten a supply run in ages. Commander, is it your intention to infiltrate the lab?”

“Yes. What's in there?”

“A cloning facility. Krogan. He's building himself an army, completely loyal to him. Just what the universe needs,” he added with scorn. Wrex bristled. “We're fairly certain he's using his clones to try and find a cure for the genophage. If he finds it, he'll be unstoppable. We can't afford to let that happen.”

“A cure?” Wrex asked, pushing his way between them to hear better. “He's actually done it?”

“From our reports, we believe so,” Kirrahe replied, scorn in his voice. “Idiotic, if you ask me.”

“Is that because you don't want him to cure us, or you don't want him to have his own army?” Wrex asked gruffly, thrusting his heavy head at the salarian.

“Take your pick. You krogan have always been more trouble than you're worth.”

“Wrex...” Henna snapped before he could get up a full head of steam. “Not the time.”

“I'm starting to wonder if I'm on the right side of this fight, Shepard.”

“Please.”

With a growl Wrex stalked off, kicking the sand and shrugging his shotgun from his shoulder to blast into the water with frustration.

“Is he going to be a problem?” Kirrahe asked. Henna turned a cool expression on him.

“Maybe if you didn't willfully antagonize him it wouldn't be.” She sighed. “I'll talk to him. In the meantime, we need a plan to divide and conquer. Nihlus, think you can lend a hand on that?”

“Yes, Henna. Garrus, Captain, come with me.” She watched them walk off to one of the tents together. Then she turned to watch Wrex, trying to gauge his mood. Williams and Alenko stepped up next to her. Another blast shot up a gout of water, the report echoing off the surrounding rocky formations.

“Need an extra pair of eyes or two on that?” Williams offered.

“Maybe. Keep your distance, and don't do anything without my go ahead.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Alenko, coordinate with that req officer, see about distributing some supplies to the salarians. They look pretty wiped out, and it sounds like we're going to need everyone on board for this.”

“Aye aye, Commander.”

***

“Talk to me Wrex.”

“Shepard. This isn't right. Tell me why I should help you destroy a lab that could hold a cure for my people.”

“I know you're upset, but we need to focus on Saren right now. He's the enemy.”

“Is he? The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I'm standing. Sounds like Saren could be a useful ally to my people. He's creating a cure, and you and that _frog_ will destroy it if we blow up this lab.”

“Exchanging your freedom for fertility doesn't sound like a good idea. Remember what you told me once? Saren is a coldhearted bastard who doesn't give a shit about anyone but for his own purposes. He shot his own partner at point blank range because he was getting too close to what Saren was doing. This isn't a cure, it's a weapon. And none of you will be around to reap the benefits if he gets his way.”

She stopped and took a breath, trying to keep herself calm. She met his hard stare head on. “These krogan are not your people. They're just puppets for him. I know you want to cure the genophage, and I want to help you. But this isn't the way. For centuries, the krogan have been shuttled between working for one race or another, for one reason or another. When it's time to make your people whole, I want it to be because you're ready to stand on your own.”

“That's easy for you to say when you hold all the power pieces,” he snarled. His grip on his shotgun shifted and for a moment she worried he was going to point it at her. “Give me one good reason I should trust you.”

“Because I've never done anything to break it.”

“That doesn't mean you've earned it, either. My people are dying, Shepard. We throw our lives away because there's nothing to come after. Better a puppet than dead!”

“No. It's not better. It's slavery. Wrex...we have to stop Saren. If we don't, if we leave this place standing, do you honestly think there will be anything left later on to rebuild? He's tied himself and all his followers to that fucking _machine_. Hellbent on destroying the whole galaxy. This has to end now. Even if we don't kill him this time, we have _got_ to cut his feet out from under him. That's the only way we'll whittle him down enough to beat him.”

He chuckled suddenly. “You've got a quad on you, Shepard.” He sighed. “All right, I'm going to trust you. But you better know what you're doing.”

“I can't promise that I'll always know what I'm doing,” she said with a smirk. “But I'll do my best.”

“Good enough.” He relaxed his stance, looking over at the AA tower and the lab it was protecting. “Give me your word that we'll save what intel we can find and I'll help you destroy this place. Whether I like it or not.”

“You've got a deal.”

“All right, Shepard.”

She let the waves break over her feet after he walked away, menace still obvious in his posture as he moved among the salarian troops. A sense of foreboding washed over her. This beautiful planet was going to hold some ugly secrets and even uglier destinations.

“Henna,” Nihlus's voice broke into her reveries. He had a twinkle in his eye, and his mandibles flickered. “We have a plan. I hope you like big explosions.”

“I do, in fact, as long as I'm clear of the blast zone. Let's hear it.”


	18. Assault

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do apologize for the wait. My plan for this weekend is to get the fic finished, and have it all posted by year's end. We're nearly there.

Chaotic images pressed against her eyelids. This beacon was as bad as the first. It released her and she bent over, hands on her knees, gasping.

“You all right?” Nihlus asked.

“Yeah...it's just...mental overload.”

“Is this what happened on Eden Prime?”

“More or less.” She stood back up and looked at the now quiet Prothean device. “At least this one didn't explode on me.”

“Shepard, you are going to want to see this,” Wrex called from the top of the gantry. They went up to join him...and faced the image of the Reaper.

“Spirits...” Nihlus breathed out.

“You are not Saren,” the image said, both in words and within her head. She struggled to keep her footing. She felt like her head might blow right off her shoulders.

“You are the ship,” she said. “Not some VI or advanced tech. You're the ship itself.” _Well, doesn't this just make it all fall into place_, she thought.

***

She entertained the brief idea that perhaps for once a plan might go off without a hitch, and then she was thrown across the tarmac by a biotic blast and knew she shouldn't even have dared to think it. Saren approached, his tread uneven and heavy from all of his artificial parts. He was every bit as terrifying in person as he had been in the holo during his trial. Was that really only a few months ago?

“Shepard,” he said, his dual toned voice almost a coo. She shivered but met his stare head on. “You are becoming a nuisance.”

“What have you done, Saren? You sold out every living being in this galaxy to a monster!” From her periphery she saw the rest of the team battling the troop of geth that had arrived with him, and wondered where Nihlus was. If he knew what was good for him, he'd stay hidden. She rolled up to her feet, pulling her rifle off her shoulder at the same time and opened fire on Saren. Not a single shot got through his barrier and his biotics threw her off her feet again, dropping her dangerously close to the edge of the platform. She skirted away from the drop and his talons wrapped around her neck, lifting her into the air by her throat. Her feet thrashed beneath her in mindless panic and she couldn't breathe more than a gasp at a time.

“Where is the Conduit, Shepard?” he snarled, his face plates immobile and unreadable on his face. She could hear the sound of the metal bands sliding along the hinges of his jaws, bracketing his mouth and holding his mandibles in place. This close, she could smell ozone and the tang of whatever substance he'd been upgraded with, with a stench of death underlying it all. She would have gagged if she could breathe.

“I...I...”

“I know she told you,” he whispered, bringing her closer, his strength astonishing even for a turian. _What did the Reaper do to you_, she wondered sadly, seeing a ruin where a once proud Spectre had been. All her hatred of him bled out into pity. “Going through the Mu Relay is useless to me if I don't know what world it's on. Tell me!”

This entire fight had been one ploy after another to make Saren think the real fight had been elsewhere. And it had all gone well until now. Splitting into teams to get the drive core from the salarians into place had worked. Saren was here, holding her in a life threatening position and not paying any attention to what was happening on the other end of the compound. All she had to do was keep him occupied for a little longer...

“Saren!” she heard and her heart sank. She'd hoped Nihlus had gone back to the Normandy already.

Saren turned at the sound of his former partner's voice, dropping her almost as an afterthought. She slumped at the edge of the roof, precipitously close to the drop and scuttled forward, choking and coughing as her throat was released. She dragged in harsh breaths that hurt but were slowly reviving her.

“Nihlus. Clever, old friend, to hide for so long. How did you survive?”

“You are no friend of mine,” Nihlus spat out. He had his shotgun aimed at Saren, his face crumpled into a mask of sorrow tinged with hate. “This ends now.”

“You cannot stop it, Nihlus. The Reapers will come. Better to bow down, to prove ourselves useful. That is the only way to be saved now.”

“You sold your soul, Saren. And for what? To live as a slave, as a coward? You are no true turian. I will not allow you to annihilate the entire galaxy. I have to stop you.”

“Pitting yourself against me isn't wise. Reconsider. Join me, join _us_.”

“No,” Nihlus said, shaking his head. “I will not turn my back on my honor. I will not become a monster as you have done.”

He took aim, firing at Saren. The bullets seemed to veer away, harmlessly bouncing off another kinetic barrier the cabal had drawn around himself. Frustration grew on his face, Henna saw. She struggled against the last bits of weakness and raised her pistol at Saren's back, firing twice before she couldn't keep her arm up anymore. Saren turned to her, ignoring Nihlus. His eyes gleamed with an unholy light and she shuddered involuntarily.

“What of you, Shepard? You could still be useful to me, to Sovereign.”

“Never,” she gasped, forcing every muscle to obey her commands to hold her up on her hands. “I will never join you, or the Reapers. You're nothing more than an indoctrinated fool, Saren Arterius. I will stop you.”

For the briefest moment, the light dimmed in his eyes and he looked at her with horror, knowledge sinking into him at what he'd done, what he'd become. But it passed before he could speak. More geth began dropping down around them from their ship, a background distraction as they stared at each other. Her team was still visible, fighting the geth with everything they had left in them.

“It will all end because you would not be tractable,” Saren said. “I see it now, the whole of the galaxy sacrificed for your prideful supposition that you can defeat the Reapers. You will rue this decision, Shepard. But what could one expect, from such a race?”

“If I die, it will be as a free human. I will not bow down to mastery by a machine. That's always been your problem with us, hasn't it? We will not bow down.”

“The Conduit is out there,” Saren continued, as if he hadn't heard her. “I will find it, and release a glorious new era upon this galaxy. This is the only offer I will make to you to be spared destruction.”

She pushed herself to her feet, a wave of dizziness washing through her, making her waver where she stood. But she kept her eyes on him, never broke her gaze. “This is the only offer I will make to let you change your mind. If you will not stop this madness, I will stop it for you.”

“There is no stopping it once it begins. The harvest is coming.”

He walked past her, right off the edge of the platform roof where his hoverboard caught him and took him out of sight. She turned to Nihlus.

“You were supposed to go back to the Normandy once this area was secured.”

“He was going to kill you.”

“And if he had, he'd still have been here when the bomb goes off. I would have made him work for it.”

“Yeah, you seemed to have a real handle on things.”

She bristled at him. A hundred things went through her mind to say, but she bit back all of them. “Go back to the ship, Nihlus. Start picking up the teams. I don't want to stay here longer than we have to.”

“Henna...”

“This isn't the time.”

She turned her back on him, took stock of the rest of her team. Wrex was bleeding freely from a wound on his face, but was otherwise unharmed. No surprise there. Williams threw her hair over her shoulder from where it come loose from her bun, but she didn't appear to be hurt. Just tired and angry. The salarians were getting to their feet one by one, all but three still present and accounted for. As sideways as it had all gone, the casualties had been low enough to balance.

She didn't look back to see if Nihlus had left, but she could see Wrex watching, his head turning fractionally to follow. She nodded once and gathered up her team. “Back to the Normandy!”

***

“Alenko!” Henna shouted into her comms, jumping onto the ramp of the ship as Wrex, Williams and Kirrahe's salarians went past her. “Report in!”

“Still pinned,” she heard, against the backdrop of constant firing. She could pick out the shots of Garrus's sniper rifle amid the noise of the salarians' SMG's. There was a crackle and the comm cut out for a moment. When it came back, it wasn't her Lieutenant anymore.

“Commander, Alenko's been hit, and it looks like the detonator got fried.”

“Garrus? Is he still breathing?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“We're on our way.”

She raced up the cargo bay, hitting the elevator without stopping to slam into the back wall of it. She could hear Wrex helping Williams up the last little bit. The elevator moved too slow.

“Joker? Tell me we haven't left atmo yet.”

“No Commander, but...”

“But me no buts. We have to turn around. Get Alenko and Vakarian.”

“Henna,” she heard Nihlus come onto the line. “That is not wise.”

She finally reached the crew deck and ran out of the elevator towards the stairs, taking them two at a time. She slid to a stop in the cockpit where Nihlus stood behind the pilot, his plates set in a stoic expression.

“We're going back for them,” she said firmly.

“I have already given the orders to jump out of here,” Nihlus replied, his voice stony. “When that bomb goes off we don't want to be anywhere near it.”

“Belie that, Flight Lieutenant. I am in command here. We go back.”

“Henna...”

She faced Nihlus squarely, her shoulders back and spine ramrod straight. There would be a time for them to exchange the angry words simmering in both of them, but this was not it. “You have your orders, Mr. Moreau.”

“Aye aye,” Joker said softly, turning the nose of the frigate back to the surface. She left to head back to the cargo bay, the better to have extra hands on deck to get the wounded on the Normandy. Nihlus followed her.

“How are you going to set it off now?” he demanded.

“This is a fully armed Alliance frigate, Nihlus. Did you think I hadn't thought about it?”

“GARDIAN lasers won't set off an engine core.”

“No, but the disruptor torpedoes will.”

“That's insane. It will take too long...”

“Nih, Saren's already made his escape. This isn't about getting him in the crosshairs now. It's about destroying that lab. The longer it takes, the more time the STG have to get out of range before we pick them up too. Did you really think I was going to leave everyone behind to their own devices? That's not how I do things.”

He was silent as they rode down the elevator in time to exit as the cargo bay doors opened onto the breeding pits. Geth troopers held down her men and the remaining STG forces with them. Even as they approached, another salarian fell to enemy fire.

“Williams, Wrex, help me.” She pulled her assault rifle off her back and crossed through the protective kinetic barrier that separated the cargo bay from the outside when the doors were open. She began shooting blind into the geth, providing enough cover fire for Garrus to scoop Alenko into his arms and begin running. _Smart turian_, she thought to herself. _He knows what's up_. The remaining salarians took their chances too, gracefully jumping into the ship as fast as they could as Joker brought the back end of the ship close enough and could drop the barrier.

Garrus made the leap last, handing off the bleeding and unconscious biotic to fresh hands as he bent over to pant heavily. Wrex and Williams saw her nod and backed off, lowering their weapons. She grabbed a signal beacon and tossed it as hard as she could into the chaos, then hit the manual override on the bay doors, stepping back as they closed. “We're clear, Mr. Moreau. Get us up high and target that beacon with the torpedoes. Then get us the hell out of here.”

“Full steam ahead, Commander,” Joker rejoined, making her face crease in a brief smile. Time enough to revel in their hollow victory once they were away from this place.

She left Nihlus to deal with the others and went with Kirrahe and Dr. Chakwas to the Medbay. She was grateful in that moment that she'd been wounded so badly after Noveria that she'd been forced to upgrade the facilities. It looked like Alenko had taken a shot high in the shoulder. It was still bleeding heavily around the pocked edges of hastily applied Medi-gel.

“Will he be all right?” she asked.

“He should be fine, Commander,” Dr. Chakwas said. “Looks like a clean shot. I'll get him stable and into the regenerator before we hit FTL.”

Henna nodded sharply. “Good enough.”

The Normandy rocked as the torpedoes went off and the dampeners protested as Joker began a steep ascent away from the planet. Henna patched her omni-tool into the rear view port in time to see the blast pouring steadily outward from the lab with a sense of satisfaction. Now all she had to do was calm an angry krogan and a countermanded turian Spectre.

“I'll leave you to it, Doctor.”

“I'll keep you apprised, Shepard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Just this once...everybody lives!"


	19. Tactical**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter is NSFW.

“Commander,” Wrex called to her as she swept the cargo bay looking for Nihlus. All right, she'd deal with her angry krogan first. She went over to him and followed him as he gestured her further from the huddled group of STG taking up the far corner. His large head swung back to her, one ruby eye trained on her. She couldn't get a read on his expression, and figured he knew that and had chosen his stance accordingly. “Things got a little tense back there.”

“They did,” she agreed. “I won't apologize for putting the mission first. This is bigger than...”

Wrex held up a beefy hand to cut her off, the look in his eye softening a little. “I know. I wanted to tell you that I respect your decision, even if I got pissed off about it. Trading in being a mercenary for being a slave or a puppet isn't an upgrade. We were tools for the Council once and in reward for it, they neutered us. I doubt Saren would be as generous in the long run. So...you were right. And I wanted you to know it.”

She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Wrex. It wasn't an easy decision, I don't want you to think I don't care about your troubles. But...”

“I know. We need to stop Saren. No point in curing the genophage if there's no one around to breed with.” He smiled finally, or maybe it was more a leer. Either way, it was enough to set her off laughing. He joined her and for a moment she was able to leave her stress behind. It only lasted a moment, though. Wrex grew serious again. “We had a close call today, Shepard.”

“Yes, we did.”

“And now that turian's secret is out. You ready for the consequences?”

“I think so. I hope so. In all honesty, it shouldn't do much for our mission.”

“Until the Council calls him back to report for himself.”

“You're right. Damn.”

“Don't get yourself crazy over it. Not much they can do about how long it takes you to follow their orders when you're in the middle of a firefight, right?”

She looked him over, speculation rampant in her mind. “You're right. And we _do_ know where we need to go...more or less.”

He grinned. “Knew you were smart.”

“Thanks, Wrex. I'll see you around.”

“Shepard.”

***

“Ilos!” Liara said. “The Conduit is on Ilos. That is why Saren wanted to find the Mu Relay. It is the only way to get to Ilos.”

“The Mu Relay linked to dozens of systems,” Nihlus said, rubbing his chin in a startlingly human gesture. “With it missing, we lost access to a whole quadrant of the galaxy. Hundreds of worlds. Narrowing it down would have been impossible without all the pieces.”

“The Cipher gave us those pieces,” Liara confirmed.

“We need to get there,” Henna said, rubbing her temples. These mind melds hadn't gotten any easier and she doubted Liara was feeling much better. A ripple of unease went through the non-human crew and she looked around to see why. “What is it?”

“The Mu Relay is deep in the Terminus Systems,” Tali said. “Alliance ships are not welcome there. Neither are Spectres.”

Henna raised her eyebrows. “We don't have a choice. If the Conduit is on Ilos, then that's where we need to be. That's where Saren will go. Our only advantage is knowing it first.”

“Saren has the Cipher too.”

Henna faced Nihlus with a slight frown. “Yeah, but without anyone to help him _de_cipher it, will he be able to put it all together in a timely fashion?”

“He has the Geth,” Tali said. “They are not limited to biological constraints and can process information at a constant rate. They will be able to chart the systems as fast as they think.”

“Damn. Then it's a race.” She rubbed her temples again, this time because this was all giving her a headache. “We need to win it.”

“Saren will put his entire network of allies on this,” Nihlus said. “We need to alert the council, call for reinforcements, if we plan to get on the surface before him.”

“I agree,” Liara said, her voice and then posture wobbling as a wave of weakness hit her. Henna caught her before she fell.

“Fine, call the Council if you think they'll listen. They haven't yet.” She shot Nihlus a look, reminding him that he would have his own problems with them too. “But I'm sure they'd love to hear from you.”

“Let me worry about that. Liara,” he continued, switching his focus to the young asari, “go rest.”

“The rest of you, dismissed,” Henna ordered. She handed Liara off to Garrus, who helped her stagger out of the conference room. Nihlus stood next to her and crossed his arms as he so often did when he wasn't fighting. “You ready to do this? I don't think it's much of a secret anymore.”

“No, not likely. Kirrahe will have made his report.”

“And I'm sure whatever mole Saren has on the Citadel has too.”

“You are still thinking the Council is aware of his actions?”

“If not explicitly, then tacitly. Whether or not they approve is a different matter and honestly not one I care about right now. Stopping him is my priority. The Council gave me this problem to take care of, and I'll do it, even if it means crossing them.” She shrugged helplessly. “This is bigger than a rogue Spectre or a corrupt government. This is all life in the galaxy we're talking about.”

“I know.” He seemed hesitant and she wondered if he was going to start berating her countermanding his orders back on Virmire. But he seemed to think better of taking that tack. “Henna, this is dangerous.”

“Oh, you think? Saren has already proved how ready he is to betray even those closest to him, and for what? A thin promise of surviving as a slave to a machine? If I stop to think about it, I'll go insane.”

“How much are you willing to give to stop him?”

“Everything.”

“Even your crew?”

Ahh, there it was. His tone implied that he didn't think she would sacrifice any lives to get the job done. But he was only partially correct. “Leaving two of my crew to die down there wouldn't have helped in the long run. We would be short two of our best, and be no further along than we are right now.” She made a cutting gesture with her hand. “I needed to save them now, because I know we'll need them later on.”

“All right.” And that seemed to be the end of it. His mandibles flexed, a half smile. “Let's get this done, shall we?”

“Joker? Patch me through to the Council.”

“Aye aye.”

Henna and Nihlus waited for the signal to go through and when the holographic images resolved into clarity, she took momentary pleasure in their looks of shock to see the presumably dead Spectre at her side. “Councilors.”

“Commander Shepard, I see you've been holding out on us,” Sparatus said, his gaze on Nihlus.

“I had my reasons. Letting Saren think he'd succeeded in killing Spectre Kryik was a tactical decision, and one that allowed me another pair of hands to stop him. Apologies if this upsets the Council, but I couldn't tell you either. I have suspicions that Saren still has contacts on the Citadel.”

“I get the impression you have news.”

“We do.” She had Joker upload their current data package. The QEC beamed the information directly to the Council while she waited. The trio looked it over quickly, each face taking on a more serious frown as they read.

“And you believe you have found the Mu Relay?” Tevos asked, slight disbelief in her voice.

“I think so. I have some salarians to drop off at a safe point before I can head that way, however.”

“Alliance Command would likely prefer to have you return to the Citadel,” Sparatus said, pushing something she couldn't see away from him. Likely closing down his omni-tool. He turned his attention back to Nihlus. “You confirm this information?”

“I do, Councilor. Whatever Arterius is up to, it's beyond the Mu Relay. I suggest we don't allow him to get a head start. I am still a Spectre, am I not?” He waited until Sparatus nodded before he continued. “I am commandeering the Normandy for this mission. Alliance Command will just have to deal with it.”

“Are you certain you aren't just heading out on a pointless chase?” Valern said, his voice dripping with disdain. Henna scowled.

“What's better in the long run? That we find nothing, or that we _do_ nothing until it's too late?”

“As much leeway as we've allowed you, Commander, the resources of the Council are not infinite,” Tevos said before either of the others could speak. “If you are wrong, it will be quite expensive.”

“And if we're right,” Nihlus interjected, “then we'll be alive to argue about it later.”

Sparatus looked like he wanted to say something, and he probably would have if it was just Henna, but Nihlus met his stare through the hologram and didn't back down. The turian councilor crossed his arms and kept his mouth shut. Henna nodded decisively.

“Councilor Valern, if you would alert the STG that we'll be dropping off Captain Kirrahe and his remaining men at the nearest outpost, I'd be grateful.”

“Then you don't intend to return to the Citadel?” Tevos asked.

“No.”

“On your heads be it,” the asari said. The holographic display shut down and Henna let out a breath of frustration.

“Could have gone better.”

“Could have gone worse, too,” Nihlus pointed out.

“True. Right, where should we drop off our guests?”

“There's a refueling station out at Hawking Eta. It's on the way. From there, they won't know where we're headed, even if they truly want to pursue us.”

“Fair enough. Let's get started.”

***

The drop off completed, Henna had Joker turn the ship in the direction of the Mu Relay, slipping away from the Hawking Eta Relay before they did more than dump their FTL sinks and received a data package containing several messages. Including an angry one from Admiral Hackett, ordering the Normandy back into Alliance space.

“That didn't take long,” Joker said. “Are we going to be in trouble?”

“Probably,” Henna said. “Don't worry, I'll take the brunt of it. You're just following orders, right?”

“Right, Commander.” He still sounded worried.

“Hey,” she said, a hand on his shoulder. “We all know that we need to stop Saren. If the Council, and the Alliance for that matter, want to make a big deal out of it when it's all over, we'll face it then. I have a feeling that once we stop this madman, there won't be much in the way of reprisal.”

“Let's hope so.”

“Let me know when we get to the relay. I'll be in my quarters.”

“Aye aye, Commander.”

***

Nihlus met her in their cabin and watched her pace restlessly as the ship moved through the FTL corridor towards the relay. “Henna, relax.”

“Can't.”

“Pacing isn't going to get us there faster.”

She shot him a frown and he chuckled. He intercepted her path as she paced, his talons wrapping around her upper arms. “Henna, we will get there. We will get there and we will beat him at his own game and prevent all of this from destroying the galaxy.”

“How do you know?” she demanded. “We could just as easily all die in a fiery blaze.”

“You're right, we could. Is that really what you want to be thinking about right now?”

“You have something better for me to think about?” she challenged. He grinned at her, a wide spread of his mandibles and a lift in his brow plates. The look in his eye was crafty and she really wasn't all that surprised when he suddenly lifted her off the floor into his arms. She wrapped her legs around him and met his kiss without another word.

They yanked and pulled on each other's clothing, separating only long enough to shed boots and pants, then he was lifting her again, bracing her against the wall of the hull. He sank into her and she hissed in pleasure, accommodating his girth in the awkward position. Each ridge of his cock slid deliciously against her clit and made her throb internally.

“Harder,” she said.

Nihlus braced her firmly and pumped his hips into hers in a steady rhythm, pounding, furious and _glorious_. She fell apart under the onslaught, her orgasm catching her so quick she didn't even have time to cry out. Without releasing her from his grip, or withdrawing from her body, he carried her to the bunk and laid her back on it. Only then did he let go of her, just to slide his talons under her knees to hold her spread wide. His thrusts became less jolting, less erratic. He watched her carefully as he stroked her, slow and languorous now. All thoughts of the upcoming battle were thoroughly evicted from her mind.

“Come for me again, Henna,” he urged, his voice low. His subvocals vibrated through her body in a rumble and she felt her body respond, lifting into him. He leaned over her, still holding her legs tight, folding her nearly in half. “Come for me.”

Henna couldn't resist such an invitation and her body unfurled as she came, white hot shivers going up her spine, down her legs. He muffled her cries with his tongue in her mouth and she held on for dear life as he chased his own release.

Much later on, once they had cleaned up and found their way under the covers of the bunk, once they were approaching the relay and the unknown beyond it, he held her tight and they talked. Silly things, nonsense things.

Important things.

They had to win this. They had to. If only to give themselves a chance to see where this unusual relationship could go.

“I won't hide it, Nihlus.” She cupped her hand around his jaw, feeling his mandible against her palm. “I don't want to hide it.”

He smiled at her in the gloom of the cabin. “Okay then. I want this. I want you. Human.”

She shifted against him, sliding her leg over his and hooking it behind his spur. “And I want you. Turian.”

They rolled together, the tension sizzling between them anew. His weight on her was comforting. It was perfect. He pulled her leg higher, spreading her open again, rubbing lightly against her. He leaned in to kiss her.

“Good,” he said, his voice nearly a purr. “Show me how much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter corresponds with one from Cross-Species Liaisons, found here:  
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22529296/chapters/54204259


	20. Culmination

Ilos was another beautiful world. Henna was beginning to dread beautiful worlds.

Joker lived up to his promise to drop them within a hairsbreadth of disaster. And as soon as they landed, they knew they hadn't outrun Saren and his geth. It was going to be a firefight from start to finish.

Henna dropped her rifle into her hands and breathed deep. “Bring it on,” she muttered through clenched teeth. “I'm ready to end this.”

***

“This place has been utterly forgotten,” Nihlus said as they rode in the ancient elevator back to the Mako now that they had all the gateways open. Garrus shifted on his feet while Liara scanned everything they came across with her omni-tool. She'd excitedly announced that this place was likely Prothean, if not _older_. An entire planet of not just ruins, but fully functioning ruins. In spite of everything, Henna had to smile.

Already they'd found a working VI, not that the others understood. Henna only did because of the Cipher. What the VI had projected hadn't helped, however, except to point them in a direction. They overrode Saren's lockdown of the gates and began the chase anew. Once they were back in the Mako they followed the ancient aqueduct across the facility, stopping only when they had to at a shimmering force field.

“There must be something here,” Liara said softly. “Something that wants to be found.”

They searched, and sure enough the young asari was right. A tunnel led them down to another elevator, dropping them deep within the planet. The walls were covered in pods, dark but visible beneath fifty millennia of creeping plant growth. Liara made a shocked, saddened sound.

“What is it?”

“They look like...like stasis pods.” She shook her head mournfully. “I've only ever read descriptions of them.”

At the end of the path stood an interface. Henna approached it and opened her hands over it. It lit up as the previous one had and the swirling VI woke and spoke. It's voice was soothing and coherent, but that did not make its words any less unsettling. “You are not Prothean...”

***

The Citadel was a mass relay.

It was unfathomable. They all exchanged incredulous looks, but there was no doubt the Prothean VI was telling the truth. It couldn't deliberately offer falsehoods, after all. And there was only one way to know if the rest of Vigil's tale held the same level of accuracy. They had to reach the Conduit before it closed.

The Mako slipped and slid through the aqueducts, boosting over the geth armatures and shooting down those troopers who stood in their way. They crested a curve of the sewer system and Henna saw it, the open relay, spinning perpendicularly into the sky. Time was running out and she gunned the engine, keeping the six wheeled vehicle in a straight line by sheer force of will.

“Henna...” Nihlus said, guessing what she planned to do.

“You got another idea?” she gritted out, keeping them aimed directly at the spinning cyclone of the relay.

“Uh...” Garrus said from his position in the turret control.

“Get down, Vakarian!” she shouted just as they hit a ramp and slammed into the gravitational pull of the relay. Their mass negated, they shot through, bursting out the other side onto the concourse of the Presidium. The Mako hit a pair of geth sentries, obliterating them as their mass re-engaged. The Mako rolled, coming to a screeching stop on its side only because it hit the solid walls of the nearest walkway. From what she could see through the forward view port, they had landed right outside the elevator for the Presidium tower. Luck, or design?

Henna struggled to release the safety catches holding her in place and twisted her body around to take a headcount. “We all still breathing?”

There were murmurs from the rest, as well as Nihlus's sardonic glare at her from the copilot seat.

“C'mon,” she said. “We have a date with the master control unit.”

***

The Council Chamber was on fire. Geth were all around, slowing them down. Henna wished she'd brought Wrex, but Liara did what she could with her biotics just the same. Garrus and Nihlus took turns covering her as Henna ran forward, desperate to reach the control unit before Saren could activate it. They could see him up there, his back turned to them. It was almost more chilling to know that he knew they were there and didn't care, didn't try harder to stop them.

“Nih!” Henna shouted across the fray. “We can't let him...”  
“I know.”

They raced onward, but when they reached the top of the stairs, Saren was gone. She knew he wasn't, not really. It was just a matter of where he would come up from hiding. She and Nihlus stood back to back, scanning the whole area. When Saren rose on his floating platform and threw a grenade at them, they were ready for it. Nihlus pushed her into cover and ducked down on the opposite side of the stairs from her, both of them avoiding the blast.

“I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time, Shepard, Nihlus.”

Henna watched the anguish cross Nihlus's face at Saren's words, so flippant in the face of the destruction he'd wrought. She shook her head at him, a vehement denial, but he ignored her and stood up.

“Saren...why?”

“You've lost,” Saren said. “You know that, don't you? In a few minutes, Sovereign will have full control of the Citadel's systems. The relay will open. The Reapers will return.”

“_Why_!?” Nihlus shouted, his voice booming through the mangled remains of the once pristine chamber. “Why would you sell out all of our lives for this?”

“I suppose I should thank you, old friend. After seeing you on Virmire, I had doubts. But no more. Sovereign has...upgraded me. Now I have no fear, no hesitation. There is no weakness in my resolve.”

“You're nothing more than a puppet to a machine. Your doubts, they've been removed because you are indoctrinated. There is no saving you,” Nihlus finished with a sad thrum of subvocals Henna could feel in her teeth more than hear. “There is nothing left.”

“The Reapers need organics. Join us, and there will be a place for you too.”

“No.”

Henna stood up, putting herself next to Nihlus where he stood. She looked up at the ruin that Saren had become and steeled herself. “Sovereign hasn't won yet,” she said, not sure which one of them she was speaking to. “I can stop it from taking control of the station. Step aside and the invasion will never happen.”

“We can't stop it!” Saren snarled. “Not forever. You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful.”

“Some part of you must still realize this is _wrong_! You had doubts. You can fight this.”

He shook himself, like a shiver had gone down his spine. They waited, rifles ready. He looked down at them and shook his head. “Maybe you're right. Maybe there is still a chance to...” With a pained groan, he stopped speaking. He looked like he might fall, like he was in pain. “The implants! Sovereign is too strong. It is too late for me.”

He drew a pistol and tried to bring it to his own head, but his arm fought him. He turned panicked eyes on Nihlus.

“Please...”

Nihlus lifted his rifle, closing the distance between them until he was in point blank range. “I'm sorry...old friend.”

Saren's mandibles flared, a quick, pained smile. “I am too. Make it quick, Nihlus.”

“I will.”

Nihlus opened fire on Saren, emptying an entire heat sink into his body. The light in his eyes extinguished and Saren toppled, falling off the platform into the glass below, shattering it on impact, dropping into the depths beneath the chamber where he lay shrouded in fragments from the broken floor. Nihlus watched him go, stepping back only enough that he didn't lose balance and fall himself as the glass gave way.

“Nih...” Henna said, not sure how to approach him.

“Finish this, Henna.”

“All right.”

She loaded the program Vigil had given her, opening communication with the outside. They heard the frantic voices of all the ships fighting beyond the closed arms of the Citadel. They listened to the distress call of the Destiny Ascension, and finally heard the welcome voice of Joker.

“Normandy to the Citadel, come in.”

“Joker! We're here.” She worked the controls, overriding the command to keep the arms closed. The light of the Serpent Nebula flooded the chamber as they opened, blocked only by the shadow of the Reaper where it clung to the peak of the tower. Henna's eyes hardened. This wasn't going to be a picnic, not by any means.

“We caught that distress call. I'm sitting here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet. We can save the Ascension. Just open up the relays and we'll bring in the cavalry.”

“Human casualties will be high if the fleet comes in now,” Garrus said.

Nihlus rounded on him. “And our other option is to let the Citadel Council fall? No, there will be chaos in the aftermath of this. We'll need the stability of a government already in place to overcome it.”

“We still have to beat that...thing,” Garrus argued. “Saving the Alliance troops for later could be critical to doing that.”

“Enough,” Henna said. “Nih is right. And any Alliance soldier knows they go into battle and might not come out. This is bigger than just us.” She opened the channel back to Joker. “Save the Ascension, Flight Lieutenant. Make me proud.”

“Aye aye, Commander.”

“I just hope the Council appreciates this,” Liara said.

Henna didn't bother to answer, but instead went to the edge of the broken glass to look down at Saren. Nihlus stood next to her. “Nih...we should make sure...”

“I know.”

He leaped down, landing heavily among the glass shards. He approached his former mentor, friend, lover. Henna watched as he raised his rifle again and shot. She closed her eyes, not wanting to see.

The chamber shuddered, arcs of red electric current crossing the walls, the very air. Henna stumbled and fell off the control panel walkway, rolling to her feet in time to see Saren's organic body burn away. Red light filled him, animating the skeletal structure that remained, mutating it until he no longer resembled anything like the turian he'd once been.

“Oh shit,” she breathed, and readied her weapon.

Saren moved like one of the geth, the kind that leapt like frogs. It was hard to keep track of him, and the beams from his eyes burned like laser fire. Liara's biotics were no match for him and he shrugged off her every attempt to hold him as one might brush away a fly. Henna, Nihlus and Garrus spread out, keeping up constant fire, whittling the creature down as best they could. She couldn't say how long it lasted, but finally he fell, an angry, metallic howl erupting from where Saren's mouth had once been.

The skeleton burned to ash before their eyes and above, they could see the shadow of Sovereign begin to move. There was no more of the red current racing through the tower, the ship had gone dark. Henna peered through the ports that faced into space, could see the fleet like specks of light. They opened fire, the Normandy among them, and the massive shell blew apart.

“Fuck!” she shouted, knowing the debris would be sucked into the minimal gravity that kept the Citadel functional for all races. “MOVE! MOVE!”

They scattered, not fast enough to escape. The walls imploded around them and she ducked under a decorative stone archway for cover. She didn't know where the others were. Tons of whispering metal and oddly organic pieces of machinery fell around her, smothered her. The archway collapsed and she hit her head. She blacked out.

***

She came to hearing Nihlus calling for her. She tried to answer, but her throat was full of grit and her head ached. She was surrounded by rubble and could barely move. But she found she could kick her feet and eventually the pieces of the ship she was buried under gave and she could pull herself out. She heard others now, chatter on the comms, the frantic sound of Captain Anderson. She climbed the rubble, straining and pulling herself free from its embrace to stand on top of it.

Nihlus was there, blood on his face plates but whole. Garrus limped at his side and Liara cradled her arm but otherwise seemed unhurt. She took a breath. They'd done it. They'd won.

She smiled down at them.


	21. Epilogue - Resolution

Henna and Nihlus walked hand in hand down the hastily rebuilt pathways of the Presidium ring. There was construction everywhere, and there were still teams of medics and salvage personnel searching for both bodies and survivors.

They'd had their leave, cocooned in a hotel far from the damage. They'd shared words. Affirmation, love. But now they had to return to their respective duties. Henna no longer needed a mentor. She was Spectre Shepard.

“Where will you go?” she asked him. He cradled the small urn containing the ashes they had managed to gather up from the mess that had been the Council Chamber.

“No matter what he became, he was a turian. He deserves to rest with a proper burial. I'll be going back to Palaven. I wish I could take you with me.”

“I know,” she said, squeezing his talons in her fingers. “I'd need more radiation shielding though.”

He snickered. “That's true. Ah well. Someday. You have your orders, anyway, right?”

“Yes.” The Normandy had been redeployed, with her at the helm. Patches of geth remained, and her ship was fast and agile. They'd hunt them down, all the way back to the Perseus Veil if they had to. “I'll miss you.”

“And I you. I'll let you know when I get back to the Citadel. I'm sure I have plenty of explaining to do to the Council. This isn't over.”

“No, it's not. Where there was one being like Sovereign, there must be others.”

“Henna...” He stopped and drew her in close so they didn't obstruct the other pedestrians around them. “Be careful out there.”

“I will. I promise.” She leaned up and cupped his face, bringing his forehead to hers. “I love you.”

His mandibles flickered, a small smile. “I love you. Human.”

“Turian.”

They started walking again, heading towards the docking bay. The Normandy was there, waiting for her. A turian frigate waited for him. They hadn't had much time to discuss what would happen next, but they both knew that whatever it was, it would be together.

“So the humans picked Udina, eh?” he asked conversationally as they passed a knot of diplomats headed towards the makeshift Embassies now that the actual ones were occupied as infirmaries.

“Yeah. Wouldn't have been _my_ choice, but whatever. He does at least have practice at making himself a nuisance on behalf of humanity.”

“They did ask you,” he said in a reminding tone.

“I know. And you heard me tell them to figure it out on their own. Making that kind of decision is above my paygrade.”

“Henna...”

“What? I'm a soldier, not a politician.”

They reached the docking bay. It was time to say goodbye. Neither of them knew just how long it would be. She kissed him goodbye with a grin and a promise to vidcall when she was settled. He promised the same.

They went to their separate ships.

***

She died in space.

She woke from that death, rebuilt.

She collected a ragtag crew at the behest of the organization she abhorred.

She missed Nihlus. He was on a mission of his own, Spectre business now that he was reinstated.

She loved Garrus.

She loved them both. And they loved her.

She beat the Collectors. And was finally reunited with her turian lover. Her _other_ turian lover.

She destroyed a mass relay and condemned hundreds of thousands of batarians to a fiery death with it.

She threw her dog tags at Admiral Hackett and resigned her commission rather than allow him to make her a scapegoat for the Alliance. For a mission he'd sent her on.

She and Nihlus returned to Palaven with a plan to prepare for the Reapers.

Those plans ended the day the Reapers arrived and took control of Earth, of Palaven, of Thessia. Of countless colonies and worlds.

They found a way. They paid a terrible cost. There were good points too, of course. The cure of the genophage among them. There was loss, but there was life as well.

They survived and the Reapers did not.

They healed. The galaxy healed.

Henna healed.

***

The buzz of the tattoo machine was loud in her ear. She sat with her back exposed, her shoulders loose and relaxed to let the artist work. The first stroke was a sting. The next was fire. But soon enough it faded to an almost pleasant hum. Garrus and Nihlus stood together, identical smirks on their plated faces.

“She loves me more,” Nihlus said. “She got my colony markings first.”

“Nih,” Henna admonished as Garrus snorted. “You're fond of telling me it's not a competition.”

The turian artist huffed behind her, her talons spreading out more of Henna's skin to get back to her work. From the corner of her eye, Henna saw the needle sharp end of the machine dip into the vibrant blue ink and then heard the buzz start up again. She'd nearly forgotten how soothing this could be and nearly fell asleep under the tappers as they decorated her other shoulder with the Vakarian markings.

The artist had to shake her when she was done. She seemed highly amused at the entire situation. She covered the new tattoo so it wouldn't bleed on the inside of Henna's shirt and gave her the same litany she had before when she had the Kryik markings done.

“Keep it dry for a full cycle. Then keep it moist until it heals. You know the drill.”

“I do, Valenea.”

“All right, you're done.” Valenea sat back and dumped the tappers off the end of her machine into a recycling unit. She gathered up all the unused ink and wipes she'd used as she worked, then stripped off her gloves too, wadding the whole thing up to follow the same path as the needles. Then she helped Henna back into her shirt. The artist had come to Earth to help wounded turians replace their markings as they recovered in makeshift hospitals all over. Henna had been her first human, although not her last.

Henna stretched her shoulders, working out the kinks from staying in one position so long. She stood up and sauntered over to her pair of turians, meeting first Garrus's kiss, then Nihlus's.

“Dinner?”

“Yes, ma'am,” Garrus said.

“I know just the place,” Nihlus offered.

~Fin~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be much longer, covering all the events of the rest of the trilogy. Honestly, I just didn't have it in me. But I couldn't leave it unfinished. I'm sorry the ending is a bit short and abrupt. But...there is a sort of companion fic to this. During Fluff-uary of 2019, Cross-Species Liaisons covered much of Garrus and Henna's relationship, as well as her reunion with Nihlus and a more in depth look at the polyamory. If you're interested, the chapters associated with SkoR are as follows: 6, 8**, 11 – 14 and 16.
> 
> Cross-Species Liaisons found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22529296/chapters/53834083
> 
> Thank you all for reading. Thank you for your comments, kudos and bookmarks in this little slice of rare-pair hell. Cheers!

**Author's Note:**

> This will likely have a sporadic update schedule.  
And I have no idea why Nihlus came out of my head flying a bit of a freak flag, but that's where the mind goes sometimes.  
Hope you enjoy!


End file.
